Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart mummer and be careful."
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?'
The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.
The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'
:waving God often lets me know I'm on the right "path" by putting a bird feather at my feet, in my actual path. I link it to a verse I enjoy about how he shelters us under His wings.... I'd like to post in your thread, but fear you didn't want any replies there. :shrug Anyway, it's really neat... many times the feather shows up in a place it truly doesn't belong... like in the elevator on the 5th floor!