Okay, a lot of you know several things about me but there's some things you don't know that struggle with that are so painful.
I know God sees self-harm and suicide as a sin, believe me, I know and I feel terrible afterwards with my attempts.
The mental health services where I live are no use and I have no friends nearby to support me.
I recently found out my own biological father sexually abused me as a baby and toddler.
One of the neighbours in the building where I live is an alcoholic and a drug user and she lets her friends bully and harass me - Recently she tried to break into my flat, she tried to steal one of my crutches that I need to help me walk and on Thursday night, I got punched in the face and went into my local store with my face covered in blood.
I have a love-hate relationship with my mother, she favouritises my brother because he has no disabilities, he's got a full-time job, he's married and got no mental health problems - On Christmas Eve, I had a fall out with my mother and brother and they both know I'm Autistic, they left me alone in a large grocery store with lots of people and I spent Christmas on my own.
I'm having problems with my mobile so I called Carphone Warehouse to switch from an O2 Pay & Go Phone to a £60.00 contract with Vodafone, I was given a Google Pixel 2 phone because the staff member said it the phone was easy to use and had a lot of internal storage so I gullibly agreed to have the phone, he over charged me, he said I can start off with just £19.99, the bill was £29.99 and because I'm disabled mentally & physically, I'm on ESA & DLA and now I'm broke, the worse part is I'm Autistic & Dyslexic and he never told me you have to open the sim card tray with a pin and the sim card tray went flying out my bedroom and I cannot find it and Vodafone & Carphone Warehouse refuse to give me a sim card tray for my new phone so now I'm paying £60 a month for a phone I'm not using.
Apart from all of this my sister no longer wants to speak to me or know me anymore because I'm related to my father and because we have different beliefs - I'm a reformed/reborn Christian who attends the Church of England and I vote for the Labour Party, last year around this month me and my sister had a debate on abortions, my sister is a Conservative voter and she's an Agnostic or Atheist. All I said to her is that I think that it's wrong that some (again some) women use abortions as an alternative to contraception because our aunt had sex with a lot of men and instead of taking the pill or using a condom, she would have endless amounts of abortions, my sister freaked out saying I was wrong and according to my sister, a fetus can't feel anything within a week of development, she said I was full of BS (I don't like to curse in front of other Christians or anyone in general) and she let her friends who barely know her attack me calling me disgusting and saying that I'm not allowed in the conversation because it's all to do with women's rights and then I tried to explain again to my sister that I think abortions should only be done if the pregnancy was unplanned, if the mother is too young or the mother was raped or if it's going to cause a medical complication but not because the woman couldn't be bothered to use a condom then my sister turned around and said "A women can do whatever she wants, it's her choice and I agree with it" and now she no longer wants to speak to me.
And to add the cherry to the icing of the cake, an ex-partner of mine has been telling everyone who knows me that I slept with them, I slept with one 1 person and never again, the other only time I had intercourse was when I was under 16 and it was actually rape, I was forced against my will.
Then this other ex-partner of mine admitted to me that they slept with underage boys and girls and they're still doing it and I reported it to the police on numerous occasions and they are refusing to take any action. These girls and boys are people's children, it's really wrong.
I know God sees self-harm and suicide as a sin, believe me, I know and I feel terrible afterwards with my attempts.
The mental health services where I live are no use and I have no friends nearby to support me.
I recently found out my own biological father sexually abused me as a baby and toddler.
One of the neighbours in the building where I live is an alcoholic and a drug user and she lets her friends bully and harass me - Recently she tried to break into my flat, she tried to steal one of my crutches that I need to help me walk and on Thursday night, I got punched in the face and went into my local store with my face covered in blood.
I have a love-hate relationship with my mother, she favouritises my brother because he has no disabilities, he's got a full-time job, he's married and got no mental health problems - On Christmas Eve, I had a fall out with my mother and brother and they both know I'm Autistic, they left me alone in a large grocery store with lots of people and I spent Christmas on my own.
I'm having problems with my mobile so I called Carphone Warehouse to switch from an O2 Pay & Go Phone to a £60.00 contract with Vodafone, I was given a Google Pixel 2 phone because the staff member said it the phone was easy to use and had a lot of internal storage so I gullibly agreed to have the phone, he over charged me, he said I can start off with just £19.99, the bill was £29.99 and because I'm disabled mentally & physically, I'm on ESA & DLA and now I'm broke, the worse part is I'm Autistic & Dyslexic and he never told me you have to open the sim card tray with a pin and the sim card tray went flying out my bedroom and I cannot find it and Vodafone & Carphone Warehouse refuse to give me a sim card tray for my new phone so now I'm paying £60 a month for a phone I'm not using.
Apart from all of this my sister no longer wants to speak to me or know me anymore because I'm related to my father and because we have different beliefs - I'm a reformed/reborn Christian who attends the Church of England and I vote for the Labour Party, last year around this month me and my sister had a debate on abortions, my sister is a Conservative voter and she's an Agnostic or Atheist. All I said to her is that I think that it's wrong that some (again some) women use abortions as an alternative to contraception because our aunt had sex with a lot of men and instead of taking the pill or using a condom, she would have endless amounts of abortions, my sister freaked out saying I was wrong and according to my sister, a fetus can't feel anything within a week of development, she said I was full of BS (I don't like to curse in front of other Christians or anyone in general) and she let her friends who barely know her attack me calling me disgusting and saying that I'm not allowed in the conversation because it's all to do with women's rights and then I tried to explain again to my sister that I think abortions should only be done if the pregnancy was unplanned, if the mother is too young or the mother was raped or if it's going to cause a medical complication but not because the woman couldn't be bothered to use a condom then my sister turned around and said "A women can do whatever she wants, it's her choice and I agree with it" and now she no longer wants to speak to me.
And to add the cherry to the icing of the cake, an ex-partner of mine has been telling everyone who knows me that I slept with them, I slept with one 1 person and never again, the other only time I had intercourse was when I was under 16 and it was actually rape, I was forced against my will.
Then this other ex-partner of mine admitted to me that they slept with underage boys and girls and they're still doing it and I reported it to the police on numerous occasions and they are refusing to take any action. These girls and boys are people's children, it's really wrong.
