Thinking Of Giving It Up

First off, I would like to say that I am not in college and am a teenager, but thought that putting this in the teen forum wouldn't benefit me because of the type of advice that I'm looking for.

Anyhow, as the title states, I am thinking of giving our religion Christianity up. I consider myself to be highly depressed and angry at almost all times. I moved from New Jersey to Texas a couple years ago and absolutely hate it with a passion. I have three other family members in Texas and the rest of my family live back up north. My cousins, aunts etc etc all live up there and see each other on a regular basis while I, only get to seem them like once a year. This is particularly hurtful because I grew up with most of my cousins and while I was down here, they moved on and bonded with each other more closely while little old me was basically thrown out the loop. This year when I went back up there, they acted as if they didn't know me. I couldn't even become angry at them because it wasn't as if they were being mean, they just genuinely didn't have a clue what to say or do around me. Five minute conversations on the phone and such can only get you so far, even with family.

That's pretty much the bane and crutch of my existence but their are other problems I have. When I first started the faith I was heavily into history. Thus, I read a lot about the battles of biblical times and ended up being heavily fascinated with landmarks and geographical information. This left me with alot of information, and it wasn't as if I didn't read throughout the bible, because I often found myself in Matthew, Mark, or Luke reading Jesus's parables or in Romans soaking up the knowledge that was planted their.

I was fine with doing all of that until one day, I realized that I'd never once clearly heard God say something to me. Ever since then, I've been in a spiral of doubt and bitterness. I would go to Wednesday night services at my church and listen to the testimony's of people and go home and cry, wishing that I had what they had.

To be one hundred percent honest, the only thing keeping me in the faith as of now is that I want to be protected by his grace and mercy. I have to walk very early in the mornings and know that without his protection anything can happen to me. If not for that then....I don't know, I'd probably be done with this.

Basically I'm depressed and really need some help. Tears roll down my eyes as I write this and I hope that someone can give me some advice.

First, I'd like to welcome you to the forums.


I think everyone goes through a time when they feel like giving up. I probably won't have as much advice to offer as others--I'm pretty young myself--but if you need to just talk or anything feel free to PM me. I'm willing to listen.

The Bible says that "faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Romans 10:17.) It seems that the most important things to our faith are first studying the Bible, and daily prayer, as that is how we talk to God. You talk with a person and get to know them that way; talking with God is how you get to know Him.
I've found that things like reading Christian allegory have also helped me to get closer to God.

Just...Tired said:

First off, I would like to say that I am not in college and am a teenager, but thought that putting this in the teen forum wouldn't benefit me because of the type of advice that I'm looking for.

Anyhow, as the title states, I am thinking of giving our religion Christianity up. I consider myself to be highly depressed and angry at almost all times. I moved from New Jersey to Texas a couple years ago and absolutely hate it with a passion. I have three other family members in Texas and the rest of my family live back up north. My cousins, aunts etc etc all live up there and see each other on a regular basis while I, only get to seem them like once a year. This is particularly hurtful because I grew up with most of my cousins and while I was down here, they moved on and bonded with each other more closely while little old me was basically thrown out the loop. This year when I went back up there, they acted as if they didn't know me. I couldn't even become angry at them because it wasn't as if they were being mean, they just genuinely didn't have a clue what to say or do around me. Five minute conversations on the phone and such can only get you so far, even with family.

That's pretty much the bane and crutch of my existence but their are other problems I have. When I first started the faith I was heavily into history. Thus, I read a lot about the battles of biblical times and ended up being heavily fascinated with landmarks and geographical information. This left me with alot of information, and it wasn't as if I didn't read throughout the bible, because I often found myself in Matthew, Mark, or Luke reading Jesus's parables or in Romans soaking up the knowledge that was planted their.

I was fine with doing all of that until one day, I realized that I'd never once clearly heard God say something to me. Ever since then, I've been in a spiral of doubt and bitterness. I would go to Wednesday night services at my church and listen to the testimony's of people and go home and cry, wishing that I had what they had.

To be one hundred percent honest, the only thing keeping me in the faith as of now is that I want to be protected by his grace and mercy. I have to walk very early in the mornings and know that without his protection anything can happen to me. If not for that then....I don't know, I'd probably be done with this.

Basically I'm depressed and really need some help. Tears roll down my eyes as I write this and I hope that someone can give me some advice.

Click to expand...

Just...Tired -

Greetings to you tonight in the love of our Lord Jesus Christ

First and foremost let me just say welcome to the forums :waving

Point 1. You moved from New Jersey to Texas and you hate it? (Depressed)
Point 2. You feel or have abandonment issues with your family up north?
Point 3. You never heard from God?
Point 4. You wish you had a testimony as others?
Point 5. Depressed (see Point 1.)

First I want to be sure that I understand you correctly so if the points above are not accurate please advice -

Let me take a shot at each one of these (you and I have more in common then what you think).

Point 1. I'm from Albuquerque, NM and I have a beautiful 11yr old daughter who is my world, her mother and I never married and our relationship did not last. In 2009 the economy hit very hard and I lost my job. I was unable to find work for months (and the bills and my child support started to get behind), but all of my family is from Houston, as in Houston, TX. So in December I called my family out in Texas who advised me to move to Houston. So I did.. And like you, I hate it out here. The traffic is horrible, the heat sucks the humidity sucks and basically my heart is breaking because my daughter still lives in New Mexico and she and I were very close and I feel we are drifting away now! So I can relate to you here - on probably higher levels in some aspects.

Point 2. My father was killed by a drunk driver when I was at the age of 14. My mother was in her third trimester of pregnancy when he died. My younger sister never met her father and I have basically taken the role of a "big brother" and that of a father to her since I was at a young age. Growing up without a father in a teenage boys life (one of the most times a young man will need is father) was very hard and I turned to drugs, alcohol, sex etc to escape the pain of my father's passing. So I can also feel your pain and understand your abandonment issues with your family members.

Point 3. You always hear from God, you may not hear His voice speaking to you in the sense that you hear when talking to someone face to face, but you have a conscience and it talks to you all the time. Your spirit knows right from wrong and is hungry for God, when you read God's Word you are maturing in your faith and your walk with God.

Point 4. You do not have to have a testimony as others, many Christians do not have a powerful testimony. Most were brought up in the Church, maybe some dabbled in drugs here and there and had misguided sexual relations. But they do not have a powerful testimony as to say someone who was heavy into drugs, the occult, paganism etc. But you need to realize that it does not make you any less important or any less useful for the Kingdom of God. You are unique and special to God. You are His creation and God don't make junk!

Point 5. (See point 1)

In Summary -

You're a child of God, you are His workmanship. Jesus never said that life would be easy but contrary He said we would have trials and tribulations

John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world

But always note, that He always ended it with a positive note. Take courage, be a young person full of courage to run this race that life has handed you. Embrace the hardships because God's plan for you is so much more then what we see now.

HARD TIMES HAPPEN - Contrary to the promulgators of the gospel of health and wealth, who would have us believe that becoming a Christian is the key to success in life. Many suffer disappointment because of the trials they face as Christians

Jesus warned His apostles of Hard times - John 15:19-20; 16:33
The apostles warned the disciples - Ac 14:22; 1Th 3:4; 2 Ti 3:12

With everything that has gone on in my life, it would be easy for me to give up my faith, but I can't; because I know that I know there is a God, I put my faith and trust in Him daily. I read His Word daily, I talk with Him daily. He is my rock in these hard times, He has carried me through these storms, and I promise you; if you put your faith and trust in Him; He will carry you also, He will carry you all the way. He loves you so much, He does not want you to give up on Him because of the hard times we may face here in this world. He wants us to rise up and in these hard times, give Him praise and in doing so we will be rich in faith.

I encourage you to get on fire for God. Read His Word, Pray to Him daily. Let Him know about your frustrations, your anxiety. Ask Him to remove some of the weight off your shoulders and if He doesn't.. This means God is breaking you down in order to rise you up.. So that one day..... You will have a powerful testimony to share to the world, how He help you overcome depression and abandonment issues. Be of good cheer because Jesus already won. All we have to do is focus on Him.. Do that for Him and for yourself.. You owe it to yourself to be a person God wants you to be...

I will keep you in my prayers
God bless you in the love of our Lord Jesus Christ

- LJ

Basically I'm depressed and really need some help.

Click to expand...

I know what depression feels like. I struggle with it often due to my physical ailments and stress. It got so bad once, I had to call a suicide hotline: phone in one hand, handful of narcotics in the other. It was a 50/50 shot for me, so I called. Want to know what I've learned from that experience?

I didn't want to die. I just wanted all the pain, hurt, and loneliness to end. I suspect that's what you want, too. We all do, when you get right down to it.

Call someone, even if it's a complete stranger on a depression hotline. Talk your feelings out. Have a good cry. Emote. Purge. Vent. Decompress. Do this as often as you need to until you get the one thing we all need:

Perspective.

A friend once told me that a dime is billions of times smaller than the sun but it can block out the sun if we hold it close enough to our eye. Our problems seem bigger because we focus so closely on them. It helps immensely to talk to someone who can help us focus on anything other than our problems. We all need a new, fresh perspective once in a while.

I can't guarantee this will change your feelings about your faith, but I suspect the focus on your situation is causing you to resent God. He is big enough to handle anything, even our anger at Him. Pour it out to Him, too. You'd be surprised how cathartic that is.

Once you're ready to look at things differently, keep this verse in mind:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8 (NASB)

Hope this helps.

Hi Just...Tired,

Though our circumstances are different, are trials are meant to strengthen our faith. I think you know that if you decide to go down the path of life without God, you'll be taking the wrong way. Ask any faithful Christian who is older and has experienced a couple of decades, and they will tell you God is so loving, that you will not be able to run from Him forever. His love is more powerful than your sin. I've lived a very sinful life, yet I find faith pulling, guiding me to repentance, similarly as when the angel pulled Lot and his family from Sodom. Understand, it's not easy, but God will be with you. Every time you sin, think the Creator of all the marvelous creation, from the microscopic bugs to the vast reaches of space, loved you, came down from Heaven into a filthy, sin-filled world, to die for sinful man. I often ask myself, do you want a moments pleasure, or do you want the forgiveness of sins and justification from God? If you don't feel the love, then there is something wrong with your eyes, and you have to learn to trust Jesus. It has taken me many years to come to this point because I chose to live sinfully, and willfully against God. You may think what you're experiencing now is painful, but live sinfully, and you will multiply your sorrow. Keep reading your Bible. It is at the moments when you are lowest that God often reveals Himself.

2 Corinthians 4:7

New King James Version (NKJV)

Cast Down but Unconquered

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.


- Davies

I thank you all for the information and overwhelmingly great things you've posted in response to me. It seems as though the common idea here was to read the bible more and change perspective. Thank you, I know it'll be hard but I as I pray for you my brothers and sisters, I ask that you pray for me as well.

Just...Tired said:

I thank you all for the information and overwhelmingly great things you've posted in response to me. It seems as though the common idea here was to read the bible more and change perspective. Thank you, I know it'll be hard but I as I pray for you my brothers and sisters, I ask that you pray for me as well.

Click to expand...

I'll pray.

Your everlasting summer
You can see it fading fast
So you grab a piece of something
That you think is gonna last
You wouldn't know a diamond
If you held it in your hand
The things you think are precious
I can't understand

- Steely Dan – Reelin' In The Years


I close my eyes
Only for a moment and the moment's gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes with curiosity

Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind

- Kansas - Dust in the Wind

You think giving up God will make your worldly problems go away?

I've been there. I once hated my testimony. It freaked me out that some people had these wonderful testimonies that could bring you to tears and all I had was "I bought a Bible and then Jesus got a hold of me". I'd like to talk to you about the testimony thing, shoot me a PM and we can figure something out. Skype or an IM or something.

I have never moved anywhere in my life more than five minutes down the road, at least not in the physical sense... Although I guess being away in college counts. But, I have been in a similar situation, I was lonely. But brother, God provides! He doesn't just provide us with help in the spiritual or finances when times are tough. He gives you friends and neighbors

Proverbs 27:10 Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend, And do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.

If you'd like to talk I am more than happy to talk with you.

A lot of people never feel they hear the voice of God. If you look in the Bible, I think God only appeared to Abraham like once every 6 years or something on average (I can't remember the exact time span, but it was typically years), and Abraham tended to be one of the more mentioned people in the Bible. The Bible does say "16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16 NIV). Salvation is a choice. It works like a formula: you believe = you saved. It's not about wooshy gooshy feelings or having God come down in a physical form and giving you a high five. If you put in your part, God puts in his. That said, if you are looking for more proof of God's existence, I suggest possibly checking out Bethel Church in Redding, California. I think they said in the last year or two they have had over 600 cases of deaf people getting their hearing back, among many other healings taking place. You can check out there testimonies webpage here: http://www.ibethel.org/testimonies , and they have some online sermons and testimonies (you may have to search back a bit for the testimonies) here: http://www.ibethel.tv/free

And remember, don't blame God for the bad stuff. The devil and people's bad choices have created the bad stuff. The Bible says: "10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10 NIV)

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It's definitely difficult to deal with depression. My heart goes out to you.

Don't change your beliefs about anything based on just emotion. Emotions are temporary. I too suffer with depression, I even get suicidal at times. But it's never lasted. It always gets better.

You should instead base your beliefs on evidence. The truth will have copious amounts of evidence, but the falsehoods will not be able to stand up to critical thinking.

Doubt is good because it means you're thinking. Gather evidence carefully, so that you can be better assured of what is really true.

You have listened to a lot of testimonies, so you'll notice that none of them are the same. Everyone comes to their beliefs differently. The ones who have amazing stories about how they came to their religious beliefs have no qualms proclaiming it to everyone who asks. The people who have boring stories keep it to themselves. It gives this sense that everyone has these crazy experiences when a lot of people are just staying silent. It can be very isolating. You might want to try asking one of the people in your church who you haven't heard the testimony to see what I mean. You might be surprised how boring it is!

I would advise against becoming an atheist (if that's what you're considering) because it made me more depressed. I felt alone, empty, and hopeless. It took me years to feel better. I know a lot of ex-Christian atheists who became happier when they lost their religion, but it's not a guarantee.

My mom, who is a Christian, said that I wouldn't have lost my faith if I had read the Bible less and talked to my pastor about my doubts. Don't know if that'll work for you, but you could try it.

Can't believe I didn't mention the Texas or family thing.

Concerning Texas, moving to a new place can be difficult. Give it some time to see if you get used to it. Ask the locals what they do for fun. You might meet a new friend or get a new hobby. If you still hate if after a while, remember it's only temporary. You can move away once you're older.

As for the family thing, it's hard to grow apart from people. Not every relationship is meant to be at the same intensity forever. Let it be what it is, and cultivate stronger relationships with new people. Maybe someday you'll become close with your cousins again, but don't force it.

I would suggest finding friends in your area, just walk into the internet site/hobby shop/store you are interested in and just start talking too people about the hobby, even the clerk, people are usually happy to be talked as you are to have made contact. At least this is true for hunting, scifi, gaming and tabletop games. Friends are the family we choose for ourself.

As for God, I can only tell my own experience, I was a follower of God for 4 years after turning away from atheism. It wasn't until I broke down and prayed for God with true conviction that I felt his presence through becoming blessed. I still don't feel a connection with Jesus, but I want too more than anything, even though God and Jesus are the same. It has different meanings in the spiritual context. At least what I feel.

Family is complicated, I hope everything will work out.

Just...Tired said:

First off, I would like to say that I am not in college and am a teenager, but thought that putting this in the teen forum wouldn't benefit me because of the type of advice that I'm looking for.

Anyhow, as the title states, I am thinking of giving our religion Christianity up. I consider myself to be highly depressed and angry at almost all times. I moved from New Jersey to Texas a couple years ago and absolutely hate it with a passion. I have three other family members in Texas and the rest of my family live back up north. My cousins, aunts etc etc all live up there and see each other on a regular basis while I, only get to seem them like once a year. This is particularly hurtful because I grew up with most of my cousins and while I was down here, they moved on and bonded with each other more closely while little old me was basically thrown out the loop. This year when I went back up there, they acted as if they didn't know me. I couldn't even become angry at them because it wasn't as if they were being mean, they just genuinely didn't have a clue what to say or do around me. Five minute conversations on the phone and such can only get you so far, even with family.

That's pretty much the bane and crutch of my existence but their are other problems I have. When I first started the faith I was heavily into history. Thus, I read a lot about the battles of biblical times and ended up being heavily fascinated with landmarks and geographical information. This left me with alot of information, and it wasn't as if I didn't read throughout the bible, because I often found myself in Matthew, Mark, or Luke reading Jesus's parables or in Romans soaking up the knowledge that was planted their.

I was fine with doing all of that until one day, I realized that I'd never once clearly heard God say something to me. Ever since then, I've been in a spiral of doubt and bitterness. I would go to Wednesday night services at my church and listen to the testimony's of people and go home and cry, wishing that I had what they had.

To be one hundred percent honest, the only thing keeping me in the faith as of now is that I want to be protected by his grace and mercy. I have to walk very early in the mornings and know that without his protection anything can happen to me. If not for that then....I don't know, I'd probably be done with this.

Basically I'm depressed and really need some help. Tears roll down my eyes as I write this and I hope that someone can give me some advice.

Click to expand...

When I became a believer I slowly lost every friend I had, as they disagreed and were offended by Gods word. I only talk to my old best friend who is interested in religion (but not in having one herself) and even she is slowly distancing herself from me because I dot budge in our conversations and really we don't have much in common anymore. I know this isn't the same as moving away from your family, but I keep reminding myself that God has taken these people out of my life for a reason. Find out why God needs you in Texas. I'm sure there is a reason.