A poem from the old me

[Paul1965]

I wrote this when I was in a very dark place in my life, it's not really one of my better efforts,yet funnily enough got me invited to West Australian Poetry Week as an opening night performer.

Opened my eyes to see
Opened my mind to learn
Opened my heart to love
Opened my body to bleed

Closed my eyes to shut out the pain
Closed my mind to shut out the pain
Closed my heart to shut out the pain
Couldn't close my body to stop my bloods rain

Opened my lungs to force out a scream
Opened my mouth to free the scream
Opened my ears to hear myself screaming
Opened my eye to watch my soul die

Closing my eyes to eternal sleep
Closing my lungs to no more breath
Closing my mind to no more feel pain
Closing my coffin to at last find peace

 

[Claudya]

Normally I'd say: Dude, that's friggin' emo!
But I know that dark place, too, so I know how real it is.

If it's from some "old you" then it's a thing of the past, that's wonderful!

The poem would make for some great song lyrics.
I wonder how the poetry week performance went for you?

 

[Paul1965]

Normally I'd say: Dude, that's friggin' emo!
But I know that dark place, too, so I know how real it is.

If it's from some "old you" then it's a thing of the past, that's wonderful!

The poem would make for some great song lyrics.
I wonder how the poetry week performance went for you?

Ha, now that's twice in two days i've been called an Emo on here Claudya
Yep definitely the old me, still have some bad days now and then but not like I used to be.
I've tried picking up the pen again for poetry, but now that life is a lot better (and a lot busier)
can't get the feeling across that I used to.
Poetry week went really well. Did 3 poems, this one, another extremely dark one that would make a great death metal song, really, but I can't share it here (language would freak out our beloved mods) and one humorous / sarcasm laced one about game shows, their contestants and the viewers. The last one went down a treat with the audiences each time. I think they preferred up beat to ...sniff...sniff...."emo paul"

 

[Claudya]

Ha, now that's twice in two days i've been called an Emo on here Claudya

Now you should be worried. Maybe God is trying to tell you something through us?

(Honestly though I'm not sure if I'd made that emo statement hadn't I read that other thread a few minutes prior to responding to this one.)

Yep definitely the old me, still have some bad days now and then but not like I used to be.
I've tried picking up the pen again for poetry, but now that life is a lot better (and a lot busier)
can't get the feeling across that I used to.

I know, right? Artistic expression gets a lot better and stronger when you're really down. I wish there was a way to feel positively and level-headed but still maintain those poetic (or other kinds of arts) skills.

Poetry week went really well. Did 3 poems, this one, another extremely dark one that would make a great death metal song, really, but I can't share it here (language would freak out our beloved mods) and one humorous / sarcasm laced one about game shows, their contestants and the viewers. The last one went down a treat with the audiences each time. I think they preferred up beat to ...sniff...sniff...."emo paul"

Feel free to pm the other two poems if you want to. I can handle coarse language. ;-)
Ever thought of asking some gifted musician to turn your poems into songs?

 

[agua.]

I wrote this when I was in a very dark place in my life, it's not really one of my better efforts,yet funnily enough got me invited to West Australian Poetry Week as an opening night performer.

Opened my eyes to see
Opened my mind to learn
Opened my heart to love
Opened my body to bleed

Closed my eyes to shut out the pain
Closed my mind to shut out the pain
Closed my heart to shut out the pain
Couldn't close my body to stop my bloods rain

Opened my lungs to force out a scream
Opened my mouth to free the scream
Opened my ears to hear myself screaming
Opened my eye to watch my soul die

Closing my eyes to eternal sleep
Closing my lungs to no more breath
Closing my mind to no more feel pain
Closing my coffin to at last find peace

Woah reminds me of Edgar Poe. Dark and troubled. Good skills !

 

[Paul1965]

Now you should be worried. Maybe God is trying to tell you something through us?

(Honestly though I'm not sure if I'd made that emo statement hadn't I read that other thread a few minutes prior to responding to this one.)
Goth as in vampire fits well, I actually went through a period in my life, about a year i think, when I seriously believed I was a werewolf...not a movie style one, just someone who had a blood lust and was capable of anything....locked myself in at night and his sleepers so I wouldn't do it.

I know, right? Artistic expression gets a lot better and stronger when you're really down. I wish there was a way to feel positively and level-headed but still maintain those poetic (or other kinds of arts) skills.
Definitely, some days i get wound up with a good idea,but it translates to crud on paper...when I'm down it just flows like mercury.

Feel free to pm the other two poems if you want to. I can handle coarse language. ;-)
will do on 'Darkness Neverending", "Gameshows" I might put up here when more confident
Ever thought of asking some gifted musician to turn your poems into songs?

had a ballad recorded, wrote it for agirl I totally loved, but who only saw me as her big overly protective brother (me security head / she barmaid) great friends but nothing more. She loved it but was embarrassed at the same time....nuther trip to rubber room for me..slashed up again

 

[Paul1965]

Woah reminds me of Edgar Poe. Dark and troubled. Good skills !

Thanks Agua, but I way down from Mr Poe. What a talent.

 

[agua.]

Thanks Agua, but I way down from Mr Poe. What a talent.

I think you have Mr Poe in regard to recovering from a dark place though.

 

[jasonc]

my step daughter autumn loves the poem raven. she used that in her email a lot. I see when I first heard that. what you like poe? she said yup

 

[Paul1965]

She has good taste in literature Jason, nurture it

 

[jasonc]

She has good taste in literature Jason, nurture it

lol, atumn is nearly as old as me. I haven't talked to her about that in a while. I know on yahoo her avatar was a raven. I hate those birds. they are rather loud. only a crow is worse.

 

[Angel]

I wrote this when I was in a very dark place in my life, it's not really one of my better efforts,yet funnily enough got me invited to West Australian Poetry Week as an opening night performer.

Opened my eyes to see
Opened my mind to learn
Opened my heart to love
Opened my body to bleed

Closed my eyes to shut out the pain
Closed my mind to shut out the pain
Closed my heart to shut out the pain
Couldn't close my body to stop my bloods rain

Opened my lungs to force out a scream
Opened my mouth to free the scream
Opened my ears to hear myself screaming
Opened my eye to watch my soul die

Closing my eyes to eternal sleep
Closing my lungs to no more breath
Closing my mind to no more feel pain
Closing my coffin to at last find peace

It may sound dark, but honestly, its very well written.

 

[cyberjosh]

That's pretty intense dude. When we don't feel love or hope we all naturally cry out in that way. For some reason the words made me think of the dramatic/intense tune & tone of the old Christian band WhiteCross's song "Far Away Places" when they say "Far away places make me dream on, scheme on, these places show me night". I think the song is about a dark place in the singer's life causing them such pain that that they are trying to deal with how to get over it. Also pretty intense...

Video of the song:

 

[cyberjosh]

Woah reminds me of Edgar Poe. Dark and troubled. Good skills !

I'll second that. Poetry that doesn't move you or make you feel in one way or another is next to worthless IMO, and this is saturated with emotion (which I like). This is also why drama stories (whether in book or movie form) are some of my favorite stories. If a story can't grip me emotionally then it's only "okay", but if it can grip me I often regard them as "great". I'll let ya'll in on a secret I've told few: the movie "Tears of the Sun" is the closest I get to a scenario similar to girls tearing up at a sappy chick-flick. I've teared up nearly every time I get to the end of that movie. It's my "man crying" movie. ;-) I've heard other men occasionally say that "Saving Private Ryan" does the same for them (still haven't watched all of it though...). The movie Tears of the Sun bespeaks such sacrifice and perseverance amidst a horrible genocide to me that it stirs me like few other movies do. The same deal for poetry or anything else. If it stirs me or causes me to deeply think and introspect on something, I like it.