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Al Ang

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Hi, i'll b very frank about this.
I saw a post here on the topic of unevenly yoked marriages, and i want to ask the members of this forum of your opinion.

Im sorry if Im going to bore you but i feel that i should include a little bit about my background situation.

Im 21 years old, currently studying in dublin.
And this is my story.

I used to be really feverent in all things the lord, but tons of things happened and there was one point in time and i was wondering whether god exists.

ex-girlfriend issues which led to a drop in my academic life which led me to a semi-depressed state for about 2 years.

anyway, about 3 months back, i went to this church in Dún Laoghaire thanks to the persuasion of some friends.

and i will not lie, but ive had visions about the interior of the church. you could say it was kinda like a deja vu event but i have never seen that church in my life and yet it all seems so familiar to me.

and somehow i met this girl. when i saw her i kind of felt that there was something in her which really appealed to me. (ive had a vision of her fb photo. LOL)

we talked and hung out every now and then and she seems fairly interested in me; until i told her that i was kinda struggling with my faith.

a few weeks later she told me that we can only just be friends. citing the reason that i was kinda shaky in my faith and she didnt want to be yoked together with a person whose faith isnt strong.

eventhough i respect her decision, i am really really lost. is it not possible for the both of us to be in a relationship and through this relationship, bring me closer to god?

ive heard tons of stories about christians marrying non christians and then having problems with their marriages. but conversely i ask, is there not a societal part to this as well?

i come from malaysia and being brought up in an eastern chinese setting we were instilled with the values of love, loyalty etc. and from where i come from, tons of unevenly yoked marriages are fine. although i do not know the details of their love life, they seem pretty fine to me. and they are certainly doing a good job if they are acting. and one thing which could be biased is the fact that sometimes unevenly yoked marriages are blown up and often stigmatized.

so i throw my questions.

1. What is the meaning of Devotion to the Lord to you?

2. Is it wrong to be led to christ thanks to a person you like? Could you tell me how you came to accept the jesus as your lord and savior?

3. Why are unevenly yoked marriages so bad? If someone can pull you away from christ, why cant another person lead you to him?

4. What should i do besides from praying and submitting to the lord?

5. Should i be persistent and continue to show my affection? (lol)

6. Could you pray for me?

cheers.
 
so i throw my questions.

1. What is the meaning of Devotion to the Lord to you?

2. Is it wrong to be led to christ thanks to a person you like? Could you tell me how you came to accept the jesus as your lord and savior?

3. Why are unevenly yoked marriages so bad? If someone can pull you away from christ, why cant another person lead you to him?

4. What should i do besides from praying and submitting to the lord?

5. Should i be persistent and continue to show my affection? (lol)

6. Could you pray for me?

cheers.

1. the meaning of Devotion to the Lord.
-For me this is an undying want to seek out and know the truth. Jesus is the only thing you can find in this search. Seek and you shall find. When you truly find it, it will lead to a relationship with Jesus.

2a. Is it wrong to be led to christ thanks to a person you like?
-Nope and God bless them if they lead you to Jesus. This is our Job as a Christian.

2b. Could you tell me how you came to accept the jesus as your lord and savior?
-I met my gf when I was a drug dealer, I had known Christ but had doubts and they caused me to live the wrong life. My gf was in a Chruch choir and was borderline too. We dated and moved in together. One day I decided I could no longer live the life of a drug addicted dealer, God was calling on my heart. We decided to buy a couple Bibles KJV. As I read seek first the Kingdom of God this gave me the excuse I needed to turn my back on the world. I turned off my phone. I spent the next three days studying the Word and was hit with the Holy Spirit hard on the third day, it was like being drunk and like someone had a remote to me as I could not help but fall and worship. God somehow kept the outside world from knocking at my door, all praise to Him for that. I always had a house full 5 to 6 people at a time. 3 days not a knock and an empty house. My faith exploded, I study the Word everyday, pray and worship all the time in the spirit. The change was so undeniable that it set Elissa my girlfriend on fire for Jesus. She loved who I was becoming and decided to follow. We still live together but have stop having sex and are waiting for marriage. Our intimate time now is not sex but it is praying and worshiping together. It is so much more intimate then sex. Having Jesus included making are relationship a 3way filled in all the voids. Only now do we know true love. I may be broke, but am rich in the spirit of Jesus, I no longer seek or serve money my old false god, I now seek to serve God with all my heart and would never turn my back on him. If I end up on the street before finding work I will just count it as a blessing to travel like Paul and share Jesus. Forgiven healed and delivered, my addiction has been conquered and to be honest I prefer the High of the Holy Spirit.

3. Why are unevenly yoked marriages so bad? If someone can pull you away from christ, why cant another person lead you to him?
-Well yes they can lead you to Christ, it is in no way bad for the unbelieving they have nothing to loose. But for a Christian if you cause them to stumble and fall they are in danger of loosing their salvation. They have way to much to risk.

4. What should I do besides from praying and submitting to the lord?
-Is she willing to be a friend? If so tell her you want to know and ask her to guide and teach you, if you are led to her by God, seeking Him together as friends will lead you to find Him and also to know her much deeper. This can after turn into much more.

5. Should I be persistent and continue to show my affection? (lol)
-see answer 4 above (lol)

6. Could you pray for me?
Yes I will! It will make me very happy to do so. Your on the right track. Your here seeking. God Bless you in your search.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Shaun has added some good thoughts, and his testimony should give you some hope. If Christ is stronger than addiction, certainly he is stronger than doubt and uncertainty.

1.What is the meaning of Devotion to the Lord?
- Think of it this way. You are living right now with a desire to be with and care for this girl. You want the companionship, the romance, the joy, the affection, all of it with this girl. God wants all of that from you! What a Joy!!! God loves each of his creations so much that all he wants is for us to express our love for him. The best thing is, he has already loved us in ways we cannot express, such as salvation. Devotion comes in when we give God this kind of Love even when it is hard to, whether we have doubts, or fears, or we forget that he is caring for us each day. Christ himself said it best,"Love the Lord with all your heart(Emotions), mind(thoughts), and with all your soul(even what you think makes you, you). Not easy, no, but worth everybit. (Matthew 22:36)

2. Is it wrong to be led to the Lord because you like someone? How did you accept Christ?
- Okay, this won't be the same kind of attraction, but how many people are le to the Lord through Mothers or Fathers? Does it make accepting Christ less true? That is up to the one accepting Christ. My story is nothing special. I was a young boy who was tired of disappointing my parents. I realized that if I was dissapointing them, then according to my teacher I was sinning and needed forgiveness. I accepted Christ at the age of 4 and have lived in his love the entire time. No one special leading me. Just God's revelation to a young boy, which is all it takes.

3. Why are unevenly yoked marraiges bad? If someone else can pull someone from Christ, why can't someone bring someone to Christ?
- First, because God's word says we are not to be unequally yoked. (2 Corinthians 6:14) If we are devoted to the Lord, that will be enough to obey His word. Think of it this way. The Husband is to love his wife as Christ love the church. If Christ bound himself to someone who did not trust in him, why should be trust him as savior since he claimed the only way to God is through beleif in him. The same is true in our marraiges. If we claim we love Christ, but marry someone who does not, we are saying his love is not enough for us that we must have the love of the world as well. Jesus made it clear we cannot live for Him and the World. It's one or the other. (Matthew 6:24)

4. What shall I do besides praying and submitting to the Lord?
- Accept him as Savior. Without that first step, your prayers are selfish. Your Obedience is hollow and for your own gain. None of this is true devotion to him. Accepting Christ is a choice we make regardless of what we can get in return, whether it is a Job, wealth, romance, or just a friends. You can accept him as savior regardless of your fears, just decide to live for him. He'll show you things you'll have never seen otherwise.

5. Should I be persistent in showing my affection?
- Meet her in the middle. Ask to spend time with her and some of her friends learning about the Lord. If she is serious about her walk, it will be a blessing to her that you want to meet who she is living for. However, if it is not with friends, nothing has changed, so why should she change her decision?

6. Will you pray for me?
- Dear Lord,
This man has a confused heart. Remove his emotions and replace them with your heart. Remove his distractions and give him a desire to know you. Bless him as he seeks you. Grant him peace with each step he takes towards you. Work in his life as he learns to obey you. May we on this site and those in his life encourage him to know you.
In Christ's Name, Amen.
 
1. What is the meaning of Devotion to the Lord to you?
Jesus is my greatest treasure and desire. John Piper has written like a bajillion books about this that are far more thorough than my explanation.

Make sure you don't get caught up in a legalistic sort of devotion though. It sucks, and it don't bring you closer to God.

2. Is it wrong to be led to christ thanks to a person you like? Could you tell me how you came to accept the Jesus as your lord and savior?
It is not wrong, but don't make this girl into your savior (see my answer to 4).

As for how I came to Jesus... well, I don't have a specific moment where I made a decision or something; God worked on me gradually. I was blessed to grow up in the church, and so I've always mentally assented to the beliefs of Christianity. Basically, I did not love God, but God was changing my heart, and a few years ago, I reached a point where I realized that life sucks, and without God, I may as well just die. So God had brought me to the point where I couldn't continue living without Him, so really, I didn't have much choice, and I've gradually grown to love Him more and more.

3. Why are unevenly yoked marriages so bad? If someone can pull you away from christ, why cant another person lead you to him?
In 2 Cor 6, Paul is specifically talking about not being yoked to unbelievers. This is a problem because one aspect of marriage is being a team with your spouse. If one of you is a believer and the other isn't, then you're not on the same team. One of you is on Jesus' team and the other isn't.

Practically speaking, if you're marrying someone with different theological convictions or with a very different spiritual maturity, there can be some issues that arise. Also, I'm old-fashioned and think that the husband should lead (this does NOT mean dominate, control, etc). I want to be a pastor of sorts to my own family. So consider, do you want to be able to be a spiritual leader to your future wife and kids?

4. What should i do besides from praying and submitting to the lord?
Search your heart and just be sure that you aren't hoping for this girl to be a functional savior to you. What I mean is this: if you are depending on dating/marrying her for your walk with God to be strengthened, then she is fulfilling the function of a savior for you, and you will inevitably be disappointed because she cannot do what only God can do. I've heard that marriage is a great challenge that can help sanctify you, but you cannot depend on marriage or this woman to save you.

5. Should i be persistent and continue to show my affection? (lol)
I don't know. Don't be cold towards her. I don't know how much affection you were showing, but you might consider toning it down a little, maybe?

6. Could you pray for me?
Yup.
 
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