After 7 perfect years we need advice

[EE7]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. After 2 years of dating I gave her a promise ring signifying my love and commitment to her. A short while after she gave me one. We are best of friends and companions. I love her more than anything, only second to God. Being together seven years has brought some small hurdles but nothing that we haven't easily overcome together and then come out stronger in the end. We know we will get married and plan to do so soon. She is my life as I am hers. We are both still virgins and being in our 20's this has been quite a tough task to accomplish. We grew up not ever going to church a single time and to this day still have not. Yet we have found God and Christ on our own. All of those around us are asking how it is possible we have not had sex after being together so long. We wanted to wait until marriage, but it is getting harder and harder to do so. We are hearing many sides to the bible and have read and done much studying on our own as to whether engaging in sex at this point in our relationship would be a sin. We are past the puppy love and the lust stage. This is true love and friendship. We are each others relaxation and shoulder to lean on when we come home from work. We feel we are already married emotionally, spiritually and in mind. The only part missing is the physical portion of our relationship. So we are asking you for help. Asking for your guidance and opinions. What should we do? We are on the fence. We have prayed to God for help in this matter and for a true answer as there are so many interpretations of God's definition of marriage. Thank you so much for taking time to read this post and I truly appreciate any help in this matter. God bless you.

 

[Eugene]

There are so many interpretations of God's definition of marriage.

First allow me to welcome you to CF.net, and I do hope you find the advice you seek.

I'm sure if you want to find a reason to get around what we consider marriage, you can find one that suits your circumstance.

Is there some reason you cannot marry?

 

[vocalyocal]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. After 2 years of dating I gave her a promise ring signifying my love and commitment to her. A short while after she gave me one. We are best of friends and companions. I love her more than anything, only second to God. Being together seven years has brought some small hurdles but nothing that we haven't easily overcome together and then come out stronger in the end. We know we will get married and plan to do so soon. She is my life as I am hers. We are both still virgins and being in our 20's this has been quite a tough task to accomplish. We grew up not ever going to church a single time and to this day still have not. Yet we have found God and Christ on our own. All of those around us are asking how it is possible we have not had sex after being together so long. We wanted to wait until marriage, but it is getting harder and harder to do so. We are hearing many sides to the bible and have read and done much studying on our own as to whether engaging in sex at this point in our relationship would be a sin. We are past the puppy love and the lust stage. This is true love and friendship. We are each others relaxation and shoulder to lean on when we come home from work. We feel we are already married emotionally, spiritually and in mind. The only part missing is the physical portion of our relationship. So we are asking you for help. Asking for your guidance and opinions. What should we do? We are on the fence. We have prayed to God for help in this matter and for a true answer as there are so many interpretations of God's definition of marriage. Thank you so much for taking time to read this post and I truly appreciate any help in this matter. God bless you.

60 dollars and you can be right with God, go get married, they do it right on the spot at the court house

you have so much to be proud of, I applaud both of you, but its time to do what is right, and just get married

I was in the same boat but lacking your good testimony, and we were planning a big wedding months down the road, although we were acting like we were already married in so many ways (if you know what I mean) so we both felt convicted so we went to the courthouse and got married it was only 60 dollars and we had our big wedding for all our friends and family half a year later, but we were right with God

 

[Deborah13]

60 dollars and you can be right with God, go get married, they do it right on the spot at the court house

you have so much to be proud of, I applaud both of you, but its time to do what is right, and just get married

I was in the same boat but lacking your good testimony, and we were planning a big wedding months down the road, although we were acting like we were already married in so many ways (if you know what I mean) so we both felt convicted so we went to the courthouse and got married it was only 60 dollars and we had our big wedding for all our friends and family half a year later, but we were right with God

This is exactly what I was going to say.

 

[Stone-yarder]

60 dollars and you can be right with God, go get married, they do it right on the spot at the court house

you have so much to be proud of, I applaud both of you, but its time to do what is right, and just get married

I was in the same boat but lacking your good testimony, and we were planning a big wedding months down the road, although we were acting like we were already married in so many ways (if you know what I mean) so we both felt convicted so we went to the courthouse and got married it was only 60 dollars and we had our big wedding for all our friends and family half a year later, but we were right with God

$60? Marriage is a covenant between a man/woman and God. Not a man woman and the state. Get down on your knees with your bride before the living God and commit your vows unto him.

 

[Knotical]

Of course "engaging in sex" outside of marriage is a sin. I am not understanding what the hangup is to actually going through with the wedding. If it is financial, you can certainly do it for a small some. You don't have to have an extravagant ceremony, just something simple. IMHO you really have waited too long, not to say you should not get married now, by all means do it. Ask God to help you get over whatever obstacles that are in your way and make the commitment.

Also, you should really find a church home so you can plug in with fellow believers. This will help you both grow as Christians.

btw, kuddos to you both for being able to abstain this long. It is quite an ordeal.

 

[vocalyocal]

$60? Marriage is a covenant between a man/woman and God. Not a man woman and the state. Get down on your knees with your bride before the living God and commit your vows unto him.

true! but that would not be considered a marriage in the eyes of the law, and we are told by Paul to abide by the laws of the land we live in

 

[Obadiah]

If you have found those who interpret scripture differently on the whole "sex outside of marriage is a sin" issue (meaning they say it's not a sin), you will find if any of them voice that opinion here they will be demonized quickly. They will probably stay silent.

But as for me... I really have to wonder too why after all this time, and abstaining for so long, why HAVE you waited so long? I could understand if you didn't want to take on the responsibility of marriage, or if you didn't love each other. But it doesn't sound like that's the case. You have actually met in person, right? (Please tell me this isn't one of those "online" relationships where you think you love each other, but you live thousands of miles apart and have never actually met!) Really, after all this time, I would agree with those who say to go to the courthouse and get a quick marriage with a justice of the peace. You can make your own vows before God as you do this too. And then go have sex with a clear conscience! As has been said, you can still plan a big wedding celebration later on if for some reason you can't do it now. Paul said " it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Cor 7:9b NIV) and I think his advice is good for you guys!

 

[reba]

true! but that would not be considered a marriage in the eyes of the law, and we are told by Paul to abide by the laws of the land we live in

AMEN

 

[evesforeva]

Marriage is a covenant between a man/woman and God. Not a man woman and the state.

I was thinking the same thing!

Is it right with God? Is it right with her? Yes? Then go ye forth, and make like married folk!

Don't let the government dictate your private religious life.

 

[Blazin Bones]

I would agree with Reba and Vocal. God wants us to honor the laws he has given us. I would encourage you to just go ahead and see the judge. If you want a Pastor to do it, I know of one in Georgia who could do it for free if you agree to go through counseling.

 

[Navigator]

What should we do? We are on the fence. We have prayed to God for help in this matter and for a true answer as there are so many interpretations of God's definition of marriage. Thank you so much for taking time to read this post and I truly appreciate any help in this matter. God bless you.

You should get married in a church (or not), and then start attending church...together! God wants us in community buddy!