Being close to someone but being chaste

Discussion in 'Young Adults' started by struggling, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. struggling

    struggling Member

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    Is it a sin to have a close nonsexual relationship with the opposite sex? We do a lot of activities together and spend a lot of time in general together. We were aiming for marriage earlier on, but we're both too scared of the health costs I would incur since I have a high-cost disability. As a single person I am covered but that would all change drastically if we married.

    So we have decided to spend our time together, but we have aimed to be chaste in all we do. I just want to know if that's something that is common or if you guys have any comments.

    Thanks
     
  2. JohnDB

    JohnDB Staff Member Moderator

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    You are going to have to forgive my ignorance...I really don't understand the whole situation. I live in America and disability or not it doesn't matter a hill of beans here...
    explain this so I can understand.
     
  3. Kidron

    Kidron Member

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    Sounds like you have a wonderful best friend.
     
  4. struggling

    struggling Member

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    The question was about the situation was promoting sin or not. But, basically when you marry in the United States both incomes get counted in my eligibility for Medicaid, which seems to be the only way to successfully pay for my doctor bills as a single person. If I got married to her, her income would make me ineligible for the Medicaid, and we'd have to get me a supplemental Medicare plan, which is way too expensive at this point (we've crunched the numbers). I have very expensive medicine and lots of doctor visits, so we're both careful to jump into this.
     
  5. struggling

    struggling Member

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    I do. She's great.
     
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  6. reba

    reba Staff Member Administrator

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    why ruin a good thing... ?
    joking aside you are a Christian, a grown man, you know the "sin line" not to cross...
    People are going to talk big deal ... dont worry about them
     
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  7. JohnDB

    JohnDB Staff Member Moderator

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    actually not...
    Now where we have had some student loans where the payments are graded upon how much income we make...
    But if my wife and I file separately then the payments are based solely upon her income alone.
    Now I am not sure if this will work with Medicaid or not...but I think it will...then you have no reason not to marry the woman and enjoy her to the fullest extent you are capable of AND avoid an appearance of evil.
     
  8. V_for_Verbose

    V_for_Verbose Member

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    To answer your question, no, it isn't sinful to have a close, nonsexual relationship with a person of the opposite sex. I have such a person myself, a girl I knew in high school, who is married and lives several states away from me. I love her dearly, and I affectionately call her my sister, and I send her gifts in the mail. Her husband knows my good nature and does not worry about anything indecent going on.

    The issue of "sin" comes into play when it involves lustful thoughts towards someone, or engaging in activities that would be considered sinful. I'm sure as a Christian, you know of what I speak, and if not, I have no problem elaborating on it.

    However I do want to point out that based on your description, that this relationship is perhaps more than just a close, platonic friendship. You said that you were aiming for marriage early on, but you two were too scared of health costs. And that you decided to spend your time together in a chaste, platonic relationship. So a compromise.

    If it ever gets beyond chaste, platonic relationship, and you two start developing romantic feelings for each other, there are two paths that I see that you can take. You can do things the right way, and get married, even if it affects your insurance coverage. Or you two may have to distance yourselves from each other temporarily if the feelings become too strong, and they become problematic for you in maintaining the neutrality of your relationship. Distance can either produce longing, or it can make you realize that you are not some emotionally dependent on someone else as you feel like when you are involved with them. Just some thoughts and advice.
     
  9. iLOVE

    iLOVE Member

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    Jesus said, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added (Matthew 6:33)."

    2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

    A Christian enters the economy of Heaven immediately when they are born again. If these two things are not first in your life, you get to take care of you.
     
  10. iLOVE

    iLOVE Member

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    Luke 9:23 - And He said to them all, If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

    Denial of self is humbling yourself while presenting your body as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). It is recognizing my moral and spiritual poverty, that there is no good in me and that I am unable to serve God in my own strength and power. We see this in the first three Beatitudes (Matthew 5).

    3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
    5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

    Take up your cross is seen in Matthew 5:6.
    6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

    I am filled by God's provisions found in Christ by placing my Faith exclusively in Christ and Him Crucified (Believing who Jesus is, and what Jesus has done), and I receive all the benefits of this Resurrection Life by understanding that we have been planted together (Christ and ourselves) in the likeness of His Death (Romans 6:3-5).

    The Believer who believes that God is in total control of their life is yoked with Jesus (resting). Matthew 11:29-30

    All that I have stated is not a work of labor but an act of Faith by believing only.

    Faith without works is dead, i.e., Faith without believing only is dead.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2017
  11. iLOVE

    iLOVE Member

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    3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
    5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

    3 Blessed (happy) are the poor in spirit (conscious of moral poverty): for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven (the moral characteristics of the citizens of the Kingdom of the heavens; and so it is apparent that the New Birth is an absolute necessity for entrance into that Kingdom [John 3:3]; this Kingdom is now present spiritually, but not yet physically).

    4 Blessed are they that mourn (grieved because of personal sinfulness): for they shall be comforted (what the Holy Spirit will do for those who properly evaluate their spiritual poverty).

    5 Blessed are the meek (the opposite of the self-righteous; the first two Beatitudes guarantee the "meekness"): for they shall inherit the earth (speaks of the coming Kingdom Age, when the "Kingdom of Heaven" will be brought down to Earth, when the Saints will rule with Christ as its Supreme Lord).

    JSM
     
  12. Edward

    Edward Member

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    I say if you both love each other, don't worry about the money. God provides. The big thing is that you are honoring God in your behavior, so He will honor your marriage when you wed...

    Congratulations Brother!! :sohappy

    There's more danger in loving each other and trying to be chaste, than there is about paying the bills.
     
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