I can look back and be able to see where I was and where Jesus led me. When I was in college, it was there I first called out to God. I was intelligent in math and physics - sometimes smart people have trouble believing and being convinced of the very existence of God. That was my problem. How did I call on God whom I couldn't believe in well? Just a small amount of faith probably. But for a very long time (decades) I had a relationship with the Law. Let me tell you, that's not fun. But I really didn't know how to be any different. This was the road Jesus was holding me on. The day finally came and I noticed I had a relationship with Jesus. I believe He was with me all along but wanted to show me why I needed a Savior, and that the Law pointed me to Him. I know more how my sins have offended God. And somehow I have a deep love for the nation of Israel. I see God's love for them in the books of the prophets and minor prophets. All to say I know God is working in me, and that settles my anxiety quite a bit.