Sorry, an old issue of my past will at times show its head.i have grown accustomed to feeling isolated as often few are able in mind to understanding my eccentricity let alone tolerate it.it doesn't help I feed that cycle and also shield my self.it has been hard to relate to the group as often you appear to be connected via common grounds of children and church.
Of these I lack and felt left out,thus why I am quiet most if the time as either I'm pondering a debate,historical reading research ,photography. I can no longer be this way. Oddly with vets I'm more open .old and reflexive habit.i apologize if I have come across as cold,rude .I also hate to lose.this also has me loathing,church fellowship time.i because of my limited time don't have close friends.the vets are close to me but even then I guard my pain from them.there is deep cynicism that runs in.me that I can feed if I want to.
I have sent this to two others.there's alot of brokeness in my life .I could say more to them ,but I have learned to hide what is often deeply bothersome. I'm not sure why I felt the need to hide it.