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Dating in High School

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Blazin Bones

Blazin Bones

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Some people try to say that you don't know what you are looking for in a spouse until you are out of high school. Others suggest that you date as many people as you can to find just what your looking for. So, what do you guys think about dating in high school?
 
There is nothing wrong with dating in high school. I dated my wife when I was in high school. We dated all the way through high school and then got married. I don't think that you have to "know what to look for" in someone at high school. Dating is just "getting to know someone" by going out and doing fun activities together. By doing that, you will know what to look for in a spouse.
 
There's nothing wrong with dating, at any time. However, know what you're looking for - are you looking at the surface or are you looking at something deeper?
Your relationship should ultimately be about gloryfiying God together.
 
I dated a little in high school, but some of my friends dated A LOT. A lot of them ended up getting married right out of high school, and only one of those friends is still married today.

I'm kinda neutral on the subject, but I know I'm going to discourage this as much as possible with my children when they get older, because I know how easy it is to get off track and lose sight of things when you start throwing "boys" into the picture.

:nono
 
When you are dating, I think it is important to look at the qualities that person has and think "would I in the future want to marry that person?". If the answer is no, then why are you dating this person? I think if you can see yourself marrying this person later on, then there's no reason why the relationship shouldn't continue.

I would discourage getting married younger (like just after school) becasue I think (especially for boys) you need to mature quite a lot more before you make a big decision like that, as marraige is a life-long comittment, as is stated in the New Testemant.

I have seen people getting married at 19 and it not working out down the track. However I know a couple of 19 year olds who got married last year. They are both Christains and their relationship coulnd't be more pointed towards Christ.

So just make your own judgement, but remember that marraige is life-long and it should be gloyrifying God.
 
Unfortunately, I don't think most teenage relationships are formed with the intention of better being able to glorify God, and I don't really see how the concept of "dating" in High School would help reinforce that. I think that it takes a lot of time and maturity for MOST people to start having their priorities straight, and High School/teenage years is the least likely time for this to occur...but notice how I say MOST people. Certainly there are exceptions, but I'm thinking more overall with the concept.

I'm kinda handicapped in that I have two children to consider when making social decisions later in their lives. Just because one may be ready at a certain age to take on more responsibility and given more rope, doesn't mean the other one will be ready at that same age. Proms, Homecomings, school activities -- those are fine, but actual one-on-one dating I don't think I'll be as open to as some parents I know.
 
Entropic_Prodigy said:
Unfortunately, I don't think most teenage relationships are formed with the intention of better being able to glorify God, and I don't really see how the concept of "dating" in High School would help reinforce that.
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But they should be. And they should be formed with the idea that you could live with this person for the rest of your life. Becasue if you can't do that, then what's the point of dating them? God didn't invent dating. He invented marraige. Which is for life. Which is not to say that we can't date, but just date with marraige in mind.
It sounds heavy, but so is lots of the bible.
 
I was always taught that the only reason for daiting is to find that one person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, not to get hooked up with everyone you can, or just because you don't want to be lonely..

I still hold to that belief and I won't date anyone that I'm not willing to marry. You can see what a person is like without having the pressures of daiting...unless God tells me "He is the one," I am willing to wait a few years before even considering daiting someone...even though its hard.

The only thing I've ever done with a boy is hold hands...I'm still waiting for the right one before I go any further..but thats just me. I'm almost out of highschool, I am a junior and I'm thinking of just waiting till College before even thinking about guys...plus I really need to find out who I'm going to be and make sure I'm stable and mature enough for a healthy relationship (I don't want to make any mistakes)...

..or just not get married at all (which isn't such a bad thing) but, its all in God's Hands, we shall see :)

Of course I don't know if any of you have heard of the Duggers (they are this Christian family with like 19 children and their tv show comes on TLC I think) and their eldest son (I believe) who just got married didn't even date his wife. He prayed about it, asked God (she did too) and then they got engaged, and had their first kiss on their wedding day. Now they are happily married with a child on the way...

I kind of like that.
 
Secularly, it is likely that your first few relationships will crash and burn, and it will hurt a lot, but the lessons you learn are invaluable. Take them slow, stay honest. It's easy to ruin a dating relationship through preventable means. High school aged kids are at the right age to be attracted to the eachother and are going to be very curious. Sex is a dangerous and serious thing, so make sure you are well edcuated WAY before you even put yourself in the CHANCE of ENCOUNTERING a possible situation even CLOSE to RESEBLING that.
 
It kind of depends on what dating your talking about.

Some people only go out with other solely to look good in front of others, or because of a physical attraction. Those relationships never work out though it seems like.
 
7ruth said:
It kind of depends on what dating your talking about.

Some people only go out with other solely to look good in front of others, or because of a physical attraction. Those relationships never work out though it seems like.
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I suppose I'm talking more about dating in general, but probably more deep than looks. Real relationships.
 
I think dating in high school is generally stupid. Most of the guys I know are too immature. But if you are on the same maturity level, I don't see anything wrong with it.
 
It saddens me to see how many great relationships do not work out in the end :verysad

I knew this kid that had been dating this gril for two years, they seemed great! I was sure they would be married someday. A couple days ago, they had just decided to become friends though.

There are just so many examples I could name of good relationships that do not work out in the end, its saddening quiet frankly.

It makes you realize that no matter how great your relationship is, it could go down the drain in a matter of days.
 
7ruth said:
It saddens me to see how many great relationships do not work out in the end :verysad

I knew this kid that had been dating this gril for two years, they seemed great! I was sure they would be married someday. A couple days ago, they had just decided to become friends though.

There are just so many examples I could name of good relationships that do not work out in the end, its saddening quiet frankly.

It makes you realize that no matter how great your relationship is, it could go down the drain in a matter of days.
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I know what you mean, totally. One of my friends is in that exact situation.
 
Nick_29 said:
7ruth said:
It saddens me to see how many great relationships do not work out in the end :verysad

I knew this kid that had been dating this gril for two years, they seemed great! I was sure they would be married someday. A couple days ago, they had just decided to become friends though.

There are just so many examples I could name of good relationships that do not work out in the end, its saddening quiet frankly.

It makes you realize that no matter how great your relationship is, it could go down the drain in a matter of days.
Click to expand...
I know what you mean, totally. One of my friends is in that exact situation.
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There are just so many examples, it makes you realize that there is almost no relationships that ever work out when you are in highschool, almost as if the whole " highschool sweetheart " thing, does not exist.
 
Blazin Bones said:
Rare maybe, but not possible, tell that to our moderator Heather.
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I agree. While it is rare, I see highschool sweethart couples that are friends of my mum and dad and they've known each other all the way through high school and have been married ever since...can happen, but it is rare.
 
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