Christ_empowered
Member
I think I'm more able, now, to put all the bad stuff from pre-Jesus away. The Bible says to do so...take up your plow and look forward, that kinda thing.
I'm thinking now the most important part of my testimony isn't surviving all kinds of stuff that I probably shouldn't have been put through or anything like that. Our God is a God of restoration. Our God is a God of reconciliation. Our God is a God of yet another (undeserved) chance.
I'm beginning to see--from a distance--that the particulars of God's work in each person's life are different, on the surface, but there are certain themes to His work in our lives. In my case, I got saved 3 years 8 months ago. I probably should have been sent to the lovely state mental hospital years before then. At the time I got saved, I was on bond for a felony charge and living in a little apartment over a garage, surrounded by people who were forever giving me a hassle.
I'm now...well, extraordinarily normal. Its funny. Back in the day, when I probably had physical problems and maybe neurological problems, I sought out a shrink. She told me I had a psychotic disorder, but she'd actually diagnosed Narcissism. Now, I don't have physical or neurological problems, and she (amongst other "professionals" who treated me back in the day) insists I have Schizophrenia.
Truth is, I'm healthy and smart enough for my goals and...I've largely reconciled with my long suffering, understandably angry, parents. We were estranged for over 10 years. The doctors helped make it happen by trying to "drive a wedge" between us (divide and conquer, that kinda thing...thanks, psychiatry...).
I'm 32 and I live with my people. Not where I thought I'd be at 32, but...now, I realize: this is the best possible outcome. My people love me and care about me and take care of me, despite who I was and what I did to them in years past.
I'm gradually letting go. It gets rough, when people around here throw things up in my face, but...oh well. I'm now even able to puff on a Camel out on the front porch without listening to my MP3 player. I know, smoking=bad, but...I'm beginning to realize that people are people, and most people didn't care about me, anyway. Now The Lord has moved mightily in my life and...well, they still don't like me, lol.
Oh, and the felony...I got saved. The lawyer my dad hired managed to keep the case out of negotiations for the better part of a year. I pled guilty to a (very serious) misdemeanor. Laws are weird down here...some misdemeanors carry more punishment than minor felonies. I don't get it. Anyway, I got a suspended sentence and 5 years probation. I'm about to hit the 3 year mark with probation, no problems.
The Lord has been good to me and good to my family. The people who treat me now at the mental health clinic are better...at least, my counselor is. He's Born Again, masters of divinity, etc. My shrink is a tricksy rabbit, and I don't know what to make of him. Oh well. The pills work and he's not electroshocking me or anything, so we're cool.
Point is...now, I'm at online college and doing well. I'm getting along well with my parents, who love me and care about me. For someone who was state mental hospital material until recently, I"m...normal. I'm even normal in the face, which is huge. I had some kind of eating problem at a young age. Not anorexia or anything like that, just...weird, bad eating habits. As a result, I didn't grow up right and I had premature aging (which was made worse by drugs, cigs, etc.). Now, I'm normal height, normal face, and I even look a little bit younger than your typical 32 year old man. N-o-r-m-a-l, all over. Healthy, too.
There's a Bible verse in which The Lord tells us that He selects the lowly, weak, despised, foolish, and simple..."the things that aren't." I've long thought upon that verse, and lately I've been thinking even more upon the "things that aren't" part of it. Things that aren't. When I got saved, I wasn't...anything. I just existed, in a brain damaged la-la-land. Now, the Great I AM has made me...well, I am something, now. I'm healthy, increasingly normal, learning to be productive (its a process...), and...saved+set free.
Done now.
I'm thinking now the most important part of my testimony isn't surviving all kinds of stuff that I probably shouldn't have been put through or anything like that. Our God is a God of restoration. Our God is a God of reconciliation. Our God is a God of yet another (undeserved) chance.
I'm beginning to see--from a distance--that the particulars of God's work in each person's life are different, on the surface, but there are certain themes to His work in our lives. In my case, I got saved 3 years 8 months ago. I probably should have been sent to the lovely state mental hospital years before then. At the time I got saved, I was on bond for a felony charge and living in a little apartment over a garage, surrounded by people who were forever giving me a hassle.
I'm now...well, extraordinarily normal. Its funny. Back in the day, when I probably had physical problems and maybe neurological problems, I sought out a shrink. She told me I had a psychotic disorder, but she'd actually diagnosed Narcissism. Now, I don't have physical or neurological problems, and she (amongst other "professionals" who treated me back in the day) insists I have Schizophrenia.
Truth is, I'm healthy and smart enough for my goals and...I've largely reconciled with my long suffering, understandably angry, parents. We were estranged for over 10 years. The doctors helped make it happen by trying to "drive a wedge" between us (divide and conquer, that kinda thing...thanks, psychiatry...).
I'm 32 and I live with my people. Not where I thought I'd be at 32, but...now, I realize: this is the best possible outcome. My people love me and care about me and take care of me, despite who I was and what I did to them in years past.
I'm gradually letting go. It gets rough, when people around here throw things up in my face, but...oh well. I'm now even able to puff on a Camel out on the front porch without listening to my MP3 player. I know, smoking=bad, but...I'm beginning to realize that people are people, and most people didn't care about me, anyway. Now The Lord has moved mightily in my life and...well, they still don't like me, lol.
Oh, and the felony...I got saved. The lawyer my dad hired managed to keep the case out of negotiations for the better part of a year. I pled guilty to a (very serious) misdemeanor. Laws are weird down here...some misdemeanors carry more punishment than minor felonies. I don't get it. Anyway, I got a suspended sentence and 5 years probation. I'm about to hit the 3 year mark with probation, no problems.
The Lord has been good to me and good to my family. The people who treat me now at the mental health clinic are better...at least, my counselor is. He's Born Again, masters of divinity, etc. My shrink is a tricksy rabbit, and I don't know what to make of him. Oh well. The pills work and he's not electroshocking me or anything, so we're cool.
Point is...now, I'm at online college and doing well. I'm getting along well with my parents, who love me and care about me. For someone who was state mental hospital material until recently, I"m...normal. I'm even normal in the face, which is huge. I had some kind of eating problem at a young age. Not anorexia or anything like that, just...weird, bad eating habits. As a result, I didn't grow up right and I had premature aging (which was made worse by drugs, cigs, etc.). Now, I'm normal height, normal face, and I even look a little bit younger than your typical 32 year old man. N-o-r-m-a-l, all over. Healthy, too.
There's a Bible verse in which The Lord tells us that He selects the lowly, weak, despised, foolish, and simple..."the things that aren't." I've long thought upon that verse, and lately I've been thinking even more upon the "things that aren't" part of it. Things that aren't. When I got saved, I wasn't...anything. I just existed, in a brain damaged la-la-land. Now, the Great I AM has made me...well, I am something, now. I'm healthy, increasingly normal, learning to be productive (its a process...), and...saved+set free.
Done now.
