Feel Like God is Punishing Me and I Don't Know Why?

[Boidae21]

It started back in August when I found out that my wife is divorcing me because she's not happy with me and our relationship was toxic. It was both sides at fault, not just one or the other. I have repented of anything I did wrong in the relationship and asked for forgiveness from my wife, which she has granted, but she still wants the divorce to happen.

Then that same month my 12 year old daughter (one of my daughters from a previous non-marital relationship which I have mentioned on here before. I have five kids total from that relationship and they live in Upstate, NY while I'm in Florida) was in a serious ATV accident that killed her best friend and nearly killed her. Now she is having difficulties in school that she never had before the accident. She is having trouble with planning and organization. She was a straight A student, high honor roll and was supposed to be in advanced Spanish and math this year. She gets headaches when she works her brain too hard. We know it's from the major concussion she suffered, but it could very well be permanent.

Now the one pet sitting client who's dog I walk three times a week is taking the dog on the road with them permanently. That is a loss of income. My other part-time job hasn't called me in over three weeks to do any assignments. More loss of income.

To top it off, I ended up in an accident on my way to my third part-time job. It was my fault, but it's just one more thing added on that I didn't need. Since my vehicle only has liability on it and I have to try and find a way to get it fixed. Looking at over $2000 worth of damage.

Just one major bad thing after another.

Why is God punishing me? I feel like giving up on life, not suicide, just more like withdrawing from life. I am getting to the point where I feel like there is too much on my plate and more just keeps getting added on.

I just have no clue what to do anymore.

On top of the accident, I was ticketed and have a fine to pay. Now I need to go to traffic school to have the points removed, but my car insurance will go up by 80% (already talked with the insurance company) and will keep me from getting a job as an EMT which I was going to do to better my situation.

It's almost as if God hates me I fundamentally know that isn't true, but it still feels like it.

 

[iLOVE]

It started back in August when I found out that my wife is divorcing me because she's not happy with me and our relationship was toxic. It was both sides at fault, not just one or the other. I have repented of anything I did wrong in the relationship and asked for forgiveness from my wife, which she has granted, but she still wants the divorce to happen.

Then that same month my 12 year old daughter (one of my daughters from a previous non-marital relationship which I have mentioned on here before. I have five kids total from that relationship and they live in Upstate, NY while I'm in Florida) was in a serious ATV accident that killed her best friend and nearly killed her. Now she is having difficulties in school that she never had before the accident. She is having trouble with planning and organization. She was a straight A student, high honor roll and was supposed to be in advanced Spanish and math this year. She gets headaches when she works her brain too hard. We know it's from the major concussion she suffered, but it could very well be permanent.

Now the one pet sitting client who's dog I walk three times a week is taking the dog on the road with them permanently. That is a loss of income. My other part-time job hasn't called me in over three weeks to do any assignments. More loss of income.

To top it off, I ended up in an accident on my way to my third part-time job. It was my fault, but it's just one more thing added on that I didn't need. Since my vehicle only has liability on it and I have to try and find a way to get it fixed. Looking at over $2000 worth of damage.

Just one major bad thing after another.

Why is God punishing me? I feel like giving up on life, not suicide, just more like withdrawing from life. I am getting to the point where I feel like there is too much on my plate and more just keeps getting added on.

I just have no clue what to do anymore.

On top of the accident, I was ticketed and have a fine to pay. Now I need to go to traffic school to have the points removed, but my car insurance will go up by 80% (already talked with the insurance company) and will keep me from getting a job as an EMT which I was going to do to better my situation.

It's almost as if God hates me I fundamentally know that isn't true, but it still feels like it.

God is not punishing you! He is moving to your Destiny! Pain has a purpose in your detours. Pray, and say, "Our Father who art in heaven, give me this mountain! Joshua 14:12-15 NKJV

 

[iLOVE]

Our Lord Jesus Christ changed water into wine. This means that He is able to change any situation around. Remove yourself and let the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords take over! The scripture says, but seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added.

This means that you must 100% exclusively put your faith and trust in Christ and the Cross, i.e., finished works. The Holy Spirit only works in that perimeter of a Believers life when your faith is exclusively placed in Christ and the Cross.

How do you do this?
"...that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:1-2 NKJV

How do I transform and renew my mind?
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17 NKJV

The Way Of The Spirit
Focus: The Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6)
Object Of Faith: The Cross of Christ (Romans 6:1-14)
Power Source: The Holy Spirit (Romans 8:1-2, 11)
Results: Victory (Romans 6:14)

Man's Way
Focus: Works.
Object Of Faith: Performance.
Power Source: Self.
Results: Defeat!

I have prayed for you!

 

[Boidae21]

God is not punishing you! He is moving to your Destiny! Pain has a purpose in your detours. Pray, and say, "Our Father who art in heaven, give me this mountain! Joshua 14:12-15 NKJV

And if I don't want the mountain?

I am tired of all the pain. If moving me to my destiny involves pain, I don't want my destiny. No destiny is worth the pain that I have been through and I guess will go through. I don't need more pain. It's going to break me and I will not recover.

 

[Boidae21]

How do I transform and renew my mind?
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17 NKJV



I have prayed for you!

Thank you for your prayer.

I wish I could go to church more, but my work schedule does not allow for it. I am generally working Saturday evenings and Sundays. I have not been able to find a online preacher that I like to listen to.

So hearing the word of God is difficult for me. I do read my Bible each day. I'm reading a chronological reading plan. Finished the book of Job the other day and am now reading in Exodus. I also add a chapter of proverbs a day. Plan on reading through Proverbs each month.

 

[iLOVE]

And if I don't want the mountain?

I am tired of all the pain. If moving me to my destiny involves pain, I don't want my destiny. No destiny is worth the pain that I have been through and I guess will go through. I don't need more pain. It's going to break me and I will not recover.

1 Peter 4:12-19 New King James Version (NKJV)
Suffering for God’s Glory

12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 14 If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.a]'>[a] On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter.b]'>[b]

17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 Now

“If the righteous one is scarcely saved,
Where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?”c]'>[c]

19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.

 

[iLOVE]

1 Peter 4:12-19 New King James Version (NKJV)
Suffering for God’s Glory

12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 14 If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.a]'>[a] On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter.b]'>[b]

17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 Now

“If the righteous one is scarcely saved,
Where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?”c]'>[c]

19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.

I have prayed in the Spirit for you. I pray that your faith will not fail you. I have ask Lord Jesus Christ to send legions of angels to surround you, minister to you, and to destroy all evil seen and unseen that comes near you. I declare that the favor of God is defeating your enemies for you. I declare that the favor of God is surrounding you like a shield. I declare great grace over you and your family. I declare blessings, blessings, blessings, and favor, favor, and favor over you forever. In the mighty name of Jesus - Amen.

 

[iLOVE]

So hearing the word of God is difficult for me. I do read my Bible each day.

Reading the Word of God is the same as hearing the Word of God. Why? Because the Word (Jesus) is alive. Start reading "The Book Of Romans."

Laying hands on people is biblical. Jesus gave His disciples dunamis (power) and exousia (spiritual authority). God gave Jesus this anointing and Jesus has given it to us (followers that are His disciples). This must be done in the name of Jesus. Dunamis heals the soul and body where it has been wounded by sickness, disease, trauma, and all infirmities. It also deals with all miracles.

Exousia deals with commanding all demonic forces to leave that have put a person in bondage and strongholds from their sins or however they got permission to afflict you. It gives spiritual authority to the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven to bind and loose in Heaven and Earth. However you must always begin with the blood of Jesus and repent and confess your sins. The Blood atones for every sin known and unknown.

Pray
1. Lord Jesus, I repent for any sin that I have committed that has wounded my soul. I know your blood atones for every sin in me. So wash me clean, every trespass, every transgression, every iniquity, every rebellion, every sin of unforgiveness, every sin of offense I committed against a person, every sin of offense that a person has sinned against me, and every sin both known and unknown in the name of Jesus. I decree Your Blood is going back in time to every place that I or my ancestors made a sin. Sin Your Blood all the way back to the garden and wash away every sin throughout time in my family line. I apply the power of the Cross right now to my soul. I decree I am forgiven in the name of Jesus - Amen.

Pray
2. Lord Jesus, I forgive anyone that has sinned against me no matter what that sin was. I know my breakthrough is going to come when I forgive. I believe You! You will bring me into freedom as I walk through this with you. So I forgive every person that has hurt me, cheated me, abuse me, robbed me, talked about me, criticize me, and abandon me. I forgive anyone that has rejected me, hated me, betrayed me, deceived me, or neglected me. I release the power of the Cross into everyone of these situations, and I repent for any unforgiveness I have held onto. And I ask You, would You cleanse me of it right now by the power of your Blood in Jesus name - Amen.

Remember we need the Cross and the resurrection (dunamis power) because sin has wound our soul.

Pray
3. Lord Jesus, I decree the same power that You used to heal people in their bodies and their souls lives in me. I have been resurrected with you so dunamis power lives in my spirit. I release it right now into my wounded soul and into my physical body. I decree every wound inside of me that came from sin or trauma is being healed right now by resurrection dunamis power. I am excellent of soul! I am excellent of soul! I am excellent of soul and I have the power to perform a miracle in my physical body as well. I decree that dunamis is healing every sickness, every disease, and every disorder in my soul and my body right now in Jesus name. I am being healed in soul and body in the name of Jesus - Amen.

Finally releasing Christ authority in us by speaking the name of Jesus. When we speak the name of Jesus it releases the anointing of exousia that Christ gives to all His disciples. Remember the word exousia means the power of Him who's will and commands must be submitted to and obeyed. So your soul just got healed by dunamis, now as you say the name of Jesus demons will have to submit to your commands.

Pray
4. In the name of Jesus, I release exousia anointing I am carrying right now. Jesus gave it to me so every spirit afflicting my soul, my body, and any part of my life must go now in Jesus name. I decree every demonic assignment you must obey my command now in the name of Jesus. I command you to leave right now in Jesus name. Loose me in Jesus name! Go in the name of Jesus! Take with you every disease, and every affliction they you put on me. I break your assignments right now in the mighty name of Jesus. In Jesus name - Amen.

 

[smaller]

It's almost as if God hates me I fundamentally know that isn't true, but it still feels like it.

That is at least partly true.

Galatians 5:
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

Having lived most of my believing life in the chastisements of God I can tell you that it's best to keep your head down and live through it. I have had amazing things transpire in my own life, over time, going through what seemed like insurmountable obstacles and difficulties so unimaginable I don't even like to think about them, yet alone share them. I can hardly believe them myself so I don't expect anyone else would relate anyway. Yet through them arrived release. And even before the release, another even greater obstacle(s) was growing to take it's place.

It's the path of faith. Makes life interesting. It will tend to move you to a very conservative and patient posture, over time.

 

[for_his_glory]

When chaos strikes at every corner (speaking from experience) we have a tendency to feel like God has forsaken us. In those moments of despair we need to draw even closer to Him. Satan will come at us at every angle to try and destroy our relationship with Christ and even if we lose it all, as I have at times, we need to trust that God will provide all our need as He opens doors to us, but we need to walk through that door by faith as we trust God in all things. Like Job, we too will come out the victor as we seek God in all things and never give up no matter what we are going through. We can not walk by sight, but by faith that is Christ Jesus and to know all of Gods promises are yea and amen.

 

[Wrg1405]

God is not punishing you. You have already been punished thruough Christ. He took your punishment on the cross.

Jesus prayed to the Father, please let this cup pass me by, this cup that he did not want to drink from was going to filled up with every sin that the whole world has and will walk in, that's you and me and everyone in the world.

When Jesus cried out "My God my God why have you forsaken me? for those 3 hours that he hung on the cross all our sins, our punishment was being placed on him. Then when he said "It is finished" he gave up his spirit.

The temple curtain was torn in two, that means we have complete access to God because the sacrifice of Jesus paid for our sin and he will no longer punish us.

iLove mentions above about the renewing of your mind. Here is where you need to renew your mind. Yours sins are forgiven, your punishment has been dealt with. If you think otherwise it is not from God. If it's not from God who is it from?

Now if we can get past this then we can start to thank him that we are not being punished then we can come before God with a different focus, we start to renew our minds in different areas. You said "I don't know what to anymore" but when you renew your mind you now know what to do, You agree with God and speak "now I know your not against and that you are for me, now I know that you love me as much as you love Jesus"

When you walk in that way God then says "I love you now let's do business"

Father bless you his beautiful child, the apple of his eye.

 

[turnorburn]

He's not punishing you its something different..

Hebrews 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

 

[smaller]

He's not punishing you its something different..

Hebrews 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

Faith in Christ guarantees both chastisement, which is NOT pleasant, and tribulations, which are also not pleasant.

 

[for_his_glory]

Faith in Christ guarantees both chastisement, which is NOT pleasant, and tribulations, which are also not pleasant.

I know the Holy Spirit will convict us when we get out of line with Gods word, but Jesus never brings tribulations on us as He carries us through the tribulations of this world and gives us the victory.

 

[smaller]

I know the Holy Spirit will convict us when we get out of line with Gods word, but Jesus never brings tribulations on us as He carries us through the tribulations of this world and gives us the victory.

Unlikely:

Acts 14:22
Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.

Jesus promised us tribulation:

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

And there are spiritual reasons for tribulations:

Romans 5:3
And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

When "believers" are in tribulations, and I have been and currently am in MANY, they have to learn patience. This is also called "long suffering" which is a Divine Characteristic of our Lord.

No one else can learn this for another. It must be "experienced." The instruments to handle this are called "patience" and "endurance." Humbleness and keeping ones head down are also beneficial to not wade further into them any more than we can handle.

 

[Boidae21]

Unlikely:

Acts 14:22
Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.

Jesus promised us tribulation:

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

And there are spiritual reasons for tribulations:

Romans 5:3
And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

When "believers" are in tribulations, and I have been and currently am in MANY, they have to learn patience. This is also called "long suffering" which is a Divine Characteristic of our Lord.

No one else can learn this for another. It must be "experienced." The instruments to handle this are called "patience" and "endurance." Humbleness and keeping ones head down are also beneficial to not wade further into them any more than we can handle.

Then maybe it is time that I denounce being a Christian and no longer follow God or Jesus. I do not want trials or tribulations and if being a Christian means that is all I will receive then I change my mind about being one.

 

[smaller]

Then maybe it is time that I denounce being a Christian and no longer follow God or Jesus. I do not want trials or tribulations and if being a Christian means that is all I will receive then I change my mind about being one.

You'll have them regardless. There is no turning back from the call. Jesus never leaves us.

And the tribulations are not because we are doing Gods work either. They are worldly troubles and guess what? Everybody has them. So there is no dodging them.

I've wadded through some immense difficulties and guess what? I didn't have a choice but to wade through them, one step and a time and one day at a time. And when that was done, I looked back and enjoyed the journey, even though it was very difficult.

 

[Boidae21]

You'll have them regardless. There is no turning back from the call. Jesus never leaves us.

And the tribulations are not because we are doing Gods work either. They are worldly troubles and guess what? Everybody has them. So there is no dodging them.

I've wadded through some immense difficulties and guess what? I didn't have a choice but to wade through them, one step and a time and one day at a time. And when that was done, I looked back and enjoyed the journey, even though it was very difficult.

Did I have them before becoming a Christian? Yep, were they as bad and as frequent as they are now? Nope, not even close.

I am not enjoying this journey, not one bit. It sucks and I want away from it.

 

[smaller]

Did I have them before becoming a Christian? Yep, were they as bad and as frequent as they are now? Nope, not even close.

I am not enjoying this journey, not one bit. It sucks and I want away from it.

There was a dictate that was laid down by God for all mankind.

We work to eat and to feed ourselves and to clothe ourselves and to house ourselves. There is no avoiding this. We can view "work" one of two ways. We can do it and enjoy it, even though it's difficult, or we can starve to death. There really isn't a choice in the matters. I was fortunate to learn this basic life lesson early and it served me well to get through the troubles.

Anyone can do it. And they have to. You can however ask the government to be your nanny, if you prefer. I never cared to have someone else take care of me.

 

[for_his_glory]

Yes, in the world we will have much tribulation as Satan is the ruler of iniquity over all the nations, Ephesians 6:11, 12. The trials and tribulations that we face helps us learn patience and endurance that we stand strong in faith and never waver so we can enter the kingdom of God per Acts 14:22. Matthew 10:22 says that those who endure until the end (when Jesus returns) are those who will be saved and will be with Christ forever. It's not God that brings tribulations on His own as the ruler of iniquity that is Satan is the one who seeks to steal, kill and destroy those who are in Christ, John 10:10.