My name is Fullmatt7 it's an alias and I'm not sure where I am right now. As a kid I read the Bible and prayed to God. My life wasn't the worst there was a lot to be thankful for. Still I had a lot of sour moments. I got angry at God and I pretty much avoided him. For along time I just went along with the dinner prayers. Then like month ago I had a dream Jesus had returned and I was left behind. I've been changing my life choices and I've cut out everything worldly. I'm scared.. I've been having nightmares and weird dreams. In class I have erratic thoughts that I try to suppress. I constantly pray that these thoughts go away and they eventually do. But, I worry.. My parents are so happy and exuberant in their faith in Jesus even if they divirced each other. They keep telling me it'll get better. I feel like I'm on a raft while they're on a boat. At times I worry about my salvation. Anyway these thoughts tend to go to dark places. I used to read revelations and I'm terrified of the Mark of the Beast. I've been trying to stay faithful to God and asked him to keep these thoughts away. It's been difficult for me they've (my family) all told me to keep going to my classes... At times I see his grace in my life. My second largest source of anxiety my biology teacher has been nicer to the class. My wallet and my flash drive items I lost have been successful returned to me today.. I want to trust him that everything will be fine, but each time I get happy about the good things I suddenly get attacked by these thoughts... I'm able to stand physical pain, I can deal with that, but this constant anxiety and worry over salvation... I don't know where I am with God although I know that Jesus is the way.. I feel like God could show up next month..
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[__ Prayer __] Feeling Lost..
- Thread starter Fullmatt7
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Tessa
Member
Hi Fullmatt7 and welcome to CF. 
I think you will find many of us have times we feel like you. Satan loves to make us doubt our salvation. If you have confessed your sins and repented of them and confessed that Jesus is The Son of God and your saviour, you belong to Him and are saved. Now all you have to do is believe God has saved you.
I suggest you read more of the gospel for now instead of Revelation (which you can go back to again). The more you read the gospel the more you grow closer to Jesus and realise just how much He loves you.
Lots of great things in the psalms too.
Just perservere with it, rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus the next time you feel discouraged because it is Satan who is doing it to you. Then pray to the Father and meditate on Jesus. He will draw close to you.
I think you will find many of us have times we feel like you. Satan loves to make us doubt our salvation. If you have confessed your sins and repented of them and confessed that Jesus is The Son of God and your saviour, you belong to Him and are saved. Now all you have to do is believe God has saved you.
I suggest you read more of the gospel for now instead of Revelation (which you can go back to again). The more you read the gospel the more you grow closer to Jesus and realise just how much He loves you.
Lots of great things in the psalms too.
Just perservere with it, rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus the next time you feel discouraged because it is Satan who is doing it to you. Then pray to the Father and meditate on Jesus. He will draw close to you.
And thank you very much sister.
Christ_empowered
Member
hi. welcome to CFnet.
I'll leave the serious advice to the more seasoned Christians. I've only been -genuinely- saved 5 1/2 years. Before that, I knew a lot about Jesus ("head knowledge," I believe is what the Pentecostals call it), but I didn't know Him, personally ("heart knowledge"). And now...
I'm glad you're here. We're all only human, but Christian human beings are usually a lot more compassionate than most non-believer human beings, and I think you'll find people here willing to do what they can to facilitate The Lord's work in your life, at a distance.
Personally...I've gotten -so- much benefit from having an older, wiser, experienced Christian friend. Could you find an older, wise, trust-worthy Christian in your neck of the woods to spend time with? Just a thought.
I'll leave the serious advice to the more seasoned Christians. I've only been -genuinely- saved 5 1/2 years. Before that, I knew a lot about Jesus ("head knowledge," I believe is what the Pentecostals call it), but I didn't know Him, personally ("heart knowledge"). And now...
I'm glad you're here. We're all only human, but Christian human beings are usually a lot more compassionate than most non-believer human beings, and I think you'll find people here willing to do what they can to facilitate The Lord's work in your life, at a distance.
Personally...I've gotten -so- much benefit from having an older, wiser, experienced Christian friend. Could you find an older, wise, trust-worthy Christian in your neck of the woods to spend time with? Just a thought.
I have number of those. Unfortunately I'm hard headed at times.. There's a lot of repeat needed for me to internalize it.
Christ_empowered
Member
oh, it happens. my older, wiser firne had to tell me basic stuff for -years- before I could really receive it. True story. I had to pray to be made a bit more teach-able and receptive to direction and godly wisdom. God is good... 
lisa-in-FL
Member
I second Tessa's advice about reading more about Jesus and the salvation he offers, than Revelation. And I'd add that you should start reading the Psalms too, where you'll find very honest perspectives from people who are going through the lowest lows and the highest highs - crying out to God in despair and praising him in the same Psalm.
I have weird dreams and deal with trying to control my thought life as well. That's the battle between our flesh and the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. When you are saved you are renewed, reborn, but still in this physical body. Romans covers this a bit (Chap 6,7 and 8 I believe)
Ephesians is a great book to study as well.
Praying for you!
I have weird dreams and deal with trying to control my thought life as well. That's the battle between our flesh and the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. When you are saved you are renewed, reborn, but still in this physical body. Romans covers this a bit (Chap 6,7 and 8 I believe)
Ephesians is a great book to study as well.
Praying for you!
Thank you!
Truthfrees
Member
wow - that is so amazing that God reached out to you with a dream to pull you into a relationship with Him
just hang onto God and learn to thank Him/trust Him/love Him/follow Him - God will help you to do this - Philippians 1:6 - Philippians 4:13 - Philippians 2:13
never run away from God - anytime you fail at something go to God because He will help you
welcome to the family of God and the cf family
praying for you dear brother
turnorburn
Member
"Looking unto Jesus."—Hebrews 12:2.
IT is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of His children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: He tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument—it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on Him; let His death, His sufferings, His merits, His glories, His intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to Him; when thou liest down at night look to Him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after Him, and He will never fail thee.~ Charles Spurgeon
Thank you brother for advice and the prayer. May God bless you and uphold you.
Truthfrees
Member
thank you so much - i love that phrase - good word my dear brother
God bless you and uphold you also
Andyintheuk
Member
Hi Fullmatt, what a lovely post, I can so relate to it. Like you I came know the Lord through the power of a dream, one time someone said to me: 'that’s the worst testimony I’ve ever heard!'
Let me assure you that God wouldn’t send his son, Jesus to die on the cross and then walk away from you because He’s bored with you. Rather, He is, along with many heavenly beings, constantly fighting over you with Satan, and the Holy Spirit in you, to bring you through. Satan wants you to renounce your faith and die, missing out on your heavenly reward that is yours by right. The struggle that’s going on inside of you is God fighting for you -
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 NKJV
If your prayers seem a bit hollow and don’t make it beyond the ceiling, treat that as an opportunity. God loves our prayers and praises when we’re bubbling, frothing full of the Holy Spirit, but He loves our prayers and praises 10 times more when we’re down in the dumps and somehow manage to pull ourselves together enough to be able to look to Him and tell Him how wonderful He is and how much we love Him. Half the Psalms are written along these lines .... lift up my soul ...
By all means read the book of Revelation, but for the next few months stick to the first 3 chapters. Some great tips in there about God’s will for the church that relate equally to us as individuals. Don’t get too hung up about the sin question, sometimes it’s very difficult to distinguish between Satan‘s condemnation and the Holy Spirit's conviction. The point is that there is no consequence to sin anymore because all of them have been forgiven by Jesus' death on the cross.
You find that as you grow in your faith, God becomes your imperative, He’s the reason you get up in the morning, all other previous driving forces in your life fade, be they career, family, hobby, politics whatever. You gradually become a new being, see Jesus' teaching to Nicodemus in John 3.
Keep on looking for God, He wants to make Himself known to you, fill you with His Holy Spirit so that you truly belong to Him; He wants you and wants you badly. I promise you that One day you’ll look back and think, wow!! All this, how could I have doubted?
If you’d like to chat more then either email me or send me aFacebook message to Andyharrison_4@hotmail.com
I do hope you find what you’re looking for and if there’s any way I can help or encourage or yadvise, please let me know. All the bes and God b
!Andy
Let me assure you that God wouldn’t send his son, Jesus to die on the cross and then walk away from you because He’s bored with you. Rather, He is, along with many heavenly beings, constantly fighting over you with Satan, and the Holy Spirit in you, to bring you through. Satan wants you to renounce your faith and die, missing out on your heavenly reward that is yours by right. The struggle that’s going on inside of you is God fighting for you -
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 NKJV
If your prayers seem a bit hollow and don’t make it beyond the ceiling, treat that as an opportunity. God loves our prayers and praises when we’re bubbling, frothing full of the Holy Spirit, but He loves our prayers and praises 10 times more when we’re down in the dumps and somehow manage to pull ourselves together enough to be able to look to Him and tell Him how wonderful He is and how much we love Him. Half the Psalms are written along these lines .... lift up my soul ...
By all means read the book of Revelation, but for the next few months stick to the first 3 chapters. Some great tips in there about God’s will for the church that relate equally to us as individuals. Don’t get too hung up about the sin question, sometimes it’s very difficult to distinguish between Satan‘s condemnation and the Holy Spirit's conviction. The point is that there is no consequence to sin anymore because all of them have been forgiven by Jesus' death on the cross.
You find that as you grow in your faith, God becomes your imperative, He’s the reason you get up in the morning, all other previous driving forces in your life fade, be they career, family, hobby, politics whatever. You gradually become a new being, see Jesus' teaching to Nicodemus in John 3.
Keep on looking for God, He wants to make Himself known to you, fill you with His Holy Spirit so that you truly belong to Him; He wants you and wants you badly. I promise you that One day you’ll look back and think, wow!! All this, how could I have doubted?
If you’d like to chat more then either email me or send me aFacebook message to Andyharrison_4@hotmail.com
I do hope you find what you’re looking for and if there’s any way I can help or encourage or yadvise, please let me know. All the bes and God b
!Andy
That's pretty good advice I remember briefly reading a book by Charles Spurgeon my Dad recommended him. Thank you!
Thank you may God bless you as well!