Karl I cannot thank you enough for your sincere reply. You are so right on all that you have spoken to me. The big question is how would I love my husband. You are right, I did not love him enough to obey Father. You see we were both basically forced to get married when we were not ready. So on my wedding day I felt very unhappy. I was inlove with Jesus and not my husband. We had words spoken over us both about a powerful ministry God wanted to bring to pass. All the prophetic words was about us together in ministry. I KNOW for sure he is the one I am called to be with. I made a terrible mistake in leaving him and am willing to do my part as God wants me to. Thank God He gives us second chances. I don't have years to wait for us to be together... God is coming back soon and has work for both me and my husband, and I won't take no for an answer. It is Gods will and we have a bond together and are unified by the Lord in spirit and other wise. I must make it right. Please Karl pray for our union. I need spirit filled answers. Thank you Karl and all who replied
Yes I will pray for you and your marriage, as I'm sure many others here will be too, I also pray that you would come back, if not, then please, at least lurk, I understand a little better the emotional stress you have in this situation, so please, don't cut us off, give us another chance, ...we all love you!
I have to agree I saw red flags when I read you were forced into marriage for you two to have a ministry, that's not the way I have experienced my Father working in my life, in fact it's just the opposite, He gives me the desires of my heart, confirmed through Scripture, and those in the church have told me it wasn't of the Lord, ...boy, sure glad I didn't listen to them because they were really wrong!
So, back to your and your husband's dilemma, we read that God made a help mate for Adam and she was the best possible woman that he would ever find, and God prepares Adams and Eves for the rest of His children, and they will be the best choices we could ever make, however sometime we don't wait for Father to present them to us. If that is the case, then the person we chose to marry becomes the Adam or Eve for us, that means you and your husband have Father on your side, it will require work from both of you, but if you will let Him, because He is madly, outrageously, immeasurably in love with both of you, ...He will turn it into something beautiful and restore the years the locust have eaten.
To encourage you and give you assurance let's look at the parable of the Pearl of Great Price, what are pearls, they are a grain of sand that irritates the oyster, with much work from the oyster they are transformed into a beautiful, costly and prized gem and in the Lord's economy they are more precious than diamonds or rubies because in the parable the man sold everything he had to buy, not diamonds or rubies, but a pearl, ...why, because diamonds and rubies are easy for the Lord to create, just a thought and a word and they exist, but pearls......., He worked hard to produce them, like the oyster He suffered pain, ...from the Roman whip, endured His skull to be punctured, His beard plucked, face buffeted, ....sweated great drops of blood, all that to produce pearls, ....and we are the pearls!
So don't be discouraged, maybe you both didn't follow plan A, but He has a plan B and He paid the same price for both A and B.
May I ask some questions, maybe the Lord will speak through them to give you some ideas.
Do you attend a church, not a mega church, but a small church where everyone knows you, if yes, are there any women you know or maybe a woman's Bible Study group you could become involved in and pray and fellowship with?
If not then maybe you should consider asking Father to put you in the Church He has prepared for you, and personally, I would stay away from any that are saying, "the Lord gave me this word for you," ...we don't want to compound mistakes.
Is there a pastor the Lord has put on your heart to talk to, if so would you consider talking to him even if he isn't the pastor of the church you are attending?
Would you consider becoming like the grain of sand in a oyster (remember the grain of sand didn't have any part in the making of the pearl), truly submitting to the Lord working in you life and from the heart telling Him you want His will to be done in your life?
Have you talked to your husband since you left, if you can't talk to him maybe write a letter, sharing some of your heart and asking him to do likewise.
What I'm seeing is you both love the Lord because you both were forced into a marriage on the assumption you were going to work for the Lord, that kind of commitment to the Lord is very hard to quench, do you still love the Lord, do you think your husband does, maybe something to ask him in a letter?
If you both still love the Lord and still want to serve Him, ...what better opportunity than to let Him heal your marriage? ...That's what Father did in Nancy Missler's marriage and she wrote the book, "The Way of Agape," explaining how Father put their broken marriage back together, ...I highly suggest you read the book sis, it's full of Godly wisdom from her experience.
Father we lift up this marriage before your Throne of Grace, we ask that You would protect it, we ask that the enemy of this marriage be bound and we plead the blood of Jesus Christ afresh on it, Father we pray that Your Will be done in this matter, we ask that You would cool tempers,change hearts and and Your peace would fill both of them, ...cause them to look back to the Cross and remember how much You love them, we ask that You would turn this marriage around to glorify Your Son, for it's in His Name we pray. Amen
May the Lord richly bless you and your husband precious sister.
