C
cubedbee
Guest
Groaners are little mini-stories of a joke that usually has a pun for the punchline and makes you groan. My favorite kind of joke--here are a few I've seen recently and like.
So Noah is waiting by his ark. Waiting for all the animals that God has promised will squeeze into the boat that he's built.
And then he sees them. Great numbers of beasts all converging on where he's standing. So he lowers the gang-plank, and watches as the animals start filing on board, two-by-two. And as they go into the ship, Noah can be heard passing comments on each animal that goes by - "Hmmm... two horses," he says, "they don't taste very nice, but they're edible," and "Ooh! Two sheep. I love roast lamb". And so it goes on, for each pair of animals, Noah counts going on board, he says something about what they're like to eat. Eventually Noah's son can stand it no longer, and he goes to his mother to ask why. She answers: "Well, there's Noah counting for taste."
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms.
"How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo.
"That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head.
BONG!
"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?"
"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"
Quasimodo came out and said..."I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell"
There was a young boy who lived with his family on a farm in the countryside. One building on the farm was a large ice-house, where produce was stored until market day.
One day, the boy was playing near the ice-house, and happened to notice that a family of wrens (small birds) had got themselves trapped in the building. The boy opened the doors, and tried to coax them out, but oddly, they didn't seem to want to come (they probably figured that it was worth being cold with all this food lying around!).
The boy was very worried about the little birds, because it was so cold in the ice-house, and kept coming back to see that they were okay.
That night, he knelt down at his bedside, and prayed "God bless all the little chilled wrens."
An army commander was looking everywhere in a field of brush for the enemy. Thinking he had some time to recoup, the enemy lit up a cigarette and took a few puffs. The smoke from his cigarette eventually gave away his location:
Moral: The searching general has determined that smoking is hazardous to your stealth.
So Noah is waiting by his ark. Waiting for all the animals that God has promised will squeeze into the boat that he's built.
And then he sees them. Great numbers of beasts all converging on where he's standing. So he lowers the gang-plank, and watches as the animals start filing on board, two-by-two. And as they go into the ship, Noah can be heard passing comments on each animal that goes by - "Hmmm... two horses," he says, "they don't taste very nice, but they're edible," and "Ooh! Two sheep. I love roast lamb". And so it goes on, for each pair of animals, Noah counts going on board, he says something about what they're like to eat. Eventually Noah's son can stand it no longer, and he goes to his mother to ask why. She answers: "Well, there's Noah counting for taste."
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms.
"How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo.
"That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head.
BONG!
"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?"
"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"
Quasimodo came out and said..."I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell"
There was a young boy who lived with his family on a farm in the countryside. One building on the farm was a large ice-house, where produce was stored until market day.
One day, the boy was playing near the ice-house, and happened to notice that a family of wrens (small birds) had got themselves trapped in the building. The boy opened the doors, and tried to coax them out, but oddly, they didn't seem to want to come (they probably figured that it was worth being cold with all this food lying around!).
The boy was very worried about the little birds, because it was so cold in the ice-house, and kept coming back to see that they were okay.
That night, he knelt down at his bedside, and prayed "God bless all the little chilled wrens."
An army commander was looking everywhere in a field of brush for the enemy. Thinking he had some time to recoup, the enemy lit up a cigarette and took a few puffs. The smoke from his cigarette eventually gave away his location:
Moral: The searching general has determined that smoking is hazardous to your stealth.
