I am angry with God

[GHDLCK]

Not to get too personal, but this is my first post so I will give a little background info before I begin.

I am the eldest of four, son of 2 happily married parents (mom is currently studying for her masters in biblical studies/theology (forget which one) at the Philadelphia Biblical University)), I consider myself a mix between Presbyterian and Christian, and I love food, cars, girls, and working out.

So... Lately I have been a little upset with God. What I'm about to say may sound a little ridiculous, but I am unhappy with the way I look - and I blame genetics for giving me this thought/physical appearance.

I am not 'OK' with myself. I am insecure around girls and work out/attempt to look "big" to make up for my low self esteem. Where I am angry with God is:

I have my mom's physical genetics and inherited her dad's (my grandfather's) genetics even more so.

- My grandfather was always about 15-20lbs overweight... Big boned... thick neck... 6'2... very inflexible.
1. I am a very 'big' golfer - I play a lot and hope to play in college at a division I level... Unfortunately I have my grandfather's flexibility. I could be so much better if I didn't have such a thick build and was more on the "smaller" thinner boned side.
2. My profile picture was taken about a week ago when I had finally conquered a life long struggle with food. I had always been ~15lbs overweight and that profile picture is me in my "ideal" body. A week later today, I am slowly creeping back up overweight and I blame my grandfather for giving me this uncontrollable appetite. I was doing so well too... And I binged today and yesterday.
3. Why has God given me my grandfather's side of physical attributes? My weight is easily #1 on my "esteem" list and if God had known this... since He is all-knowing... why did He not give me my dad's genes? My brother was very muscular when he was younger... and I wasn't. My brother got my dad's genes - I don't hate him for it - only envy. He's very flexible and in shape.

I am angry because genetics is the one thing in the life that you cannot change. No matter how much you try, your genetics will always be your genetics. Why has God given me my mom's side of the family for my physical appearance? I am unhappy with my body, my appetite, and my lack of flexibility. And the worst part of it all? No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to change the fact that I have my grandfather's genetics (mom's side) and that is a VERY depressing thought for me. It's like God gave me the wrong recipe for the two biggest things (besides God obviously) in my life... Golf and fitness... lack of flexibility and a big build combined with a huge appetite.

Why? If he is all knowing... Why did He do this to me?

God bless,
GHDLCK

 

[contemplativemind]

Sorry to hear of your setbacks regarding weight control etc...

However your main issue in actuality has very little to do with God and has more to do with the ego mentality. The ego is the inner part of yourself that is often negative and generates the less positive side of human qualities. Such as taking personal appearances as a persons true character, when in fact a persons good heart is a testament to their true character and wether they are thin or overwheight makes little to no difference on who they truly are.

Let me put it in common terms, say for instance there was a man in a wheel chair who saw others playing basketball and he wants to join the game, this man immediatly says to himself I can't do that because my legs don't work like they should.

Now common sense would dictate otherwise, a man is still capable of playing basketball while wheel chair bound, just in a slightly different way. Now if this man's natural inclination is to not try and to automatically assume he can't is the ego over riding the man's decsion to choose what he wants.

It's very important to get the ego mentality in check while a person is young otherwise they end up with long term issues like yourself. What I would suggest is tell yourself everyday that there is someone else in the world who has far more damaging of a physical appearence than you. Others are in far worse hardship you should feel blessed to have been given the life you have.

Poor genetics is no reason to be down on yourself and feel like God has not blessed you with a good life, he has given you life and it is up to you to choose on how you want to live it.

Good luck and God Bless - contemplative mind

 

[FaiTh_in_HiM]

Hey man!

Understandable frustration, but perhaps you've been looking at things the wrong way- at least I know there is another way to go about all of the "problems" you've got..

Firstly i'd like to point out something that may not be that obvious; It wasn't your grandfather's fault, nor was it anyone in your family.. They were also just born the way they are - perfectly!!

I'd also like to mention that regardless of your "set-backs" that you think have held you back from being confident around girls, and golfing and/or whatever else you enjoy.. You should remember that you've got tons of other things that other people desire.. Somewhere out there some dude is wishing he wasn't some skinny guy with a think build, perhaps that person wants to play Rugby (similar to American Football) so badly but cannot because people make fun of his body?

I'd suggest you start finding new ways to improve on the things you'd like to, start off slowly.. Just like stretching every night after your shower? Or go for a run/walk before you go to work/school..
There are many ways to improve your life and in turn create a better confidence within you, blaming others is an easy way out .. Although, i'm sure you have been trying really hard to make things better..

Perhaps you should just ask God to show you new ways to help you, and if you're listening He'll definitely reveal to you exactly what you need!!

Be strong, stay awesome!!

 

[Eugene]

I am unhappy with the way I look

Dear GHDLCK, that's honest and very typical among many. Below is an excerpt from a Youth Camp presented by Gene Hawkins at the assembly I attend I hope is profitable to your recognition of the worth of the body in which God allowed you alone to possess.

We're being judged or evaluated of the things that we do in the body right now, be they good or bad. This is why we want to commit our lives and our bodies unto the Lord, and then God will take care of those rewards later on.

This brings us to a very important point in regard to our bodies. It is vitally important that you and I accept the body He has given us as a gift from God. Most of us at one time or another in our lives has reached that place where, especially as teenagers growing up we don't have such a fondness for our body. That may be the time that oh boy, would I ever like to trade this thing in on a new one. I want to impress on us this morning that God has given us a very precious gift in giving us this body, and it means that we must accept the body as He has given it to us. Every person is going to find some flaw is his body and don't tell me that they don't, because I know they do. It's important that we accept the body as being made by God, and the reason for that is because if you and I do not, then because we know God created the body, who's to blame for the imperfections that I see? Well, God is, and if we blame God for anything we're in trouble, and so the only thing we can do is to accept the body as God has made it.

Now, we have found out that God made this body for service, for sanctification, and for sacrifice, and those are the points we must concentrate on, but of course we really focus on the looks of our bodies. I think that they should be made as presentable as they possibly can be, but not to create any vain egos for ourselves, but to present Christ. We should present a brightness and a joy as a representative of Him, but there are certain things that we may not like about our bodies, and we may be reminded of that from time to time. For example, if that one sat on a dime, she's so short her feet would dangle. Hair, you know the dippy blond and we hear about carrot top. I've seen more hair than that on a billiard ball, and just what size shoe do you wear? You know all of these things, and the enemy can use them to great disadvantage. I'm glad we can laugh about these things, because I can tell you of a truth, there's going to come a time you're going to need to; you really will, but the only way you're going to be able to do that is if you accept yourself as God made you.

In my own case there were two things that just bothered me terribly, and I was exactly like so many of the young people as I have testified before. You believe, and it is true to a very great degree that appearance is so important to the opposite sex, and that of course is the way God made us, but when we learn God's ways, we learn to look beyond the body to the person, and it's very important. Well, if you want others to do that for you, we need to do that for others also. What we want to see is that inner person that a person has, but I remember looking in the mirror very discouraged, very dissatisfied and just honestly saying, what girl in their right mind would want to go out with that? I was very honest about the matter, and of course what I saw was a nose that was splattered all over my face, and western teeth with wide open spaces in between you know. Then of course, I met my wife who never did give any indication that any of those things even mattered to her, and what a joy and a wonder that was. A number of years after I'd learned this truth, I had accepted what God had made and was very glad for it, and I thank God for this body because it’s the only one that I've got after all, and I'm able to get around in it. So, I was talking about my nose and my teeth, and she says well honey, on you they're darling, but I'm glad the kids didn't get them.

It is imperative that we especially accept those things that we do not like, and if you're trapped in that this morning, then you really do need to go before the Lord and specifically thank God for the thing that you don't like. If you don't, you're going to zero in on it and others are going to zero in on it, or you will think they are anyway.

Satan is just going to make you obsessed with that and I've seen that happen with people, so we really all need to just specifically thank God. In addition to that if it really is bothersome, I don't think it is too far out of line to ask God why was I made in this way? Not blaming Him, but really wanting to know why. You see, God had a purpose in the way that He made every one of us. Well, I don't think it's too unreasonable to ask God what His purpose was, and He may not always answer us in a way that we think, but I believe that God certainly had a purpose in the way He did things in my own life. You might consider some of these things in your own experience, and God can show you things that are totally foreign to me, but one particular thing I believe everyone might be able to identify and share, is that most people feel like they are a misfit because of their appearance, and that’s the way I felt. You know, where in the world I fit in with these wonderful characteristics that I display, and they were not things that the "In-crowd" went for. They seemed to be so perfect and let you know it, and so I really believe in my own case that God gave me these characteristics, as well as others to make me a misfit in the wrong crowd. If people fit in where they shouldn't, then they may be led astray and go down a path that God doesn't want them to go down. So, if God makes you a misfit in this particular crowd, maybe He is telling us loud and clear to change your crowd! When I began to accept what God had given to me, I found out that I felt accepted by others who had the right values. So, consider that the next time you feel so inferior, it may be that you're trying to be accepted by the wrong crowd. God did it on purpose so that He can separate you unto Himself. That is just one expression and one reason that you might consider, but I'm sure there are many others.

 

[Gordon]

It's okay to be angry as long as you don't lecture God. I bought a fitness program I have yet to get into about this guy who had horrible genetics and was on the scrawny side yet he got huge and now makes money teaching people how to do the same. If you are meant for golf there are things you can do. It might be harder to lose weight but you can't honestly say you can't do it and just blame genetics. The flexibility is the same way. I like a lot of Tim Ferris stuff and he talks about his bad genetics and how he overcame them too. I hope you feel better later.

 

[taikina]

it's gods way of saying "look, i could do you a million times worse and besides you need some perspective for when you get to heaven."

 

[Deshong]

First of all being angry at God just sounds dangerous. I fear God. End of Story.

Besides we all look exactly the same we do now from the first earth age, so we've always looked how we do now except then we were in our spiritual bodies. So genetics are basically creating what we already looked like from the first earth age. Or at least I think I got that right...

 

[Dan1966]

Why? If he is all knowing... Why did He do this to me?

peace and love to you GHDLICK

Remember what the Lord said to Samuel...

"Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.
The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the
outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

If anything, this is a test of your faith. Can you imagine what the world
would be like if the lord just cookie cutter stamped evry person with the
same face or the same body?

Sure some people in this world were born more beautiful than we are in
appearance but most of those people it seems have quickly given up their
hearts and their souls to debatchery, perversions, lusts, selfishness and ill
gains.

The Lord is looking for good soldiers of the faith who have departed the
concerns of this world, picked up the instrument of is execution and follow
him. The Lord it seems wats to know if you will wallow in worry over your
appearance or transend it, take up the cross and grab hold his hand.

Don't dispair my friend, care not your look for what is in your heart? It is
your heart that concerns God so forsake your mirror, grab your bible and
get to walking and talking, God will give you strength.

 

[CornerStone]

I can identify somewhat with what you are going through. I'm also into fitness, and although it's never been to the point that I was upset with God, I am somewhat unhappy with my physical attributes. I'd rather be naturally muscular like my father and brothers, but I have a thin build an narrow joint structure of my mother.

You genetics will always be a limiting factor, but the good news is that you can overcome them, to an extent. Flexibility is something that can be trained. Your appetite is something that you can control. You can manipulate your diet to make yourself stay fuller for a longer period of time, and practice more moderation rather than narrow restriction.

God may want you to overcome these things for his glory.

 

[Danus]

I would suggest that your anger at God is misdirected. God's not the one telling you you're inadequate. If anything He's telling you you are fine the way you are.

Who's telling you that you are not up to a physical standard?

Genesis 3:11-13 (NIV) 11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”


Because Adam and Eve eat from the tree God commanded they not eat; we all take a bite of that same tree. We listen to the world and not God. The world says your too fat, or skinny, or not tall enough to ride; God NEVER said those things. So, let's not be angry at God.

 

[GHDLCK]

Thanks for all the comments everyone. Not that all of them weren't fantastic, I especially liked the post about my ego, and the post taken from another source about thanking God for my imperfections.

I guess I got really caught up in the physcial appearance of things. I will work on trying to fix that and I do believe it has a lot to do with my ego. You could say that I am a people pleaser - not that it is a bad thing - only that it gets to a point sometimes where I will put people's needs/priorities over mine, only to make sure that they think I'm a good guy... If that makes sense.

And it also goes hand in hand with my physical appearance. I want other people to look at me and go "wow he works out" or "wow he looks great" etc etc. it's all superficial.

But thanks for opening my eyes with regards to God and his whole play in this. I think I see what I haven't been seeing this whole time.

God bless guys.
GHDLCK