[__ Prayer __] i guess its OK to be 'mentally ill...'

[Christ_empowered]

...in my situation, anyway. I have so much to be thankful for. God is good!

Today, it dawned on me...if I wasn't bona fide "crazy," where would I be? Who would I be? Not that my...affliction...is fun. Its not, I promise. But, hey...now, I'm saved+set free, forgiven, transformed inside and out. The "Schizoaffective, manic type" or "Bipolar I w/psychotic features" is just...a big flaw in who I am now, a work-in-progress, in Christ Jesus.

Does your church (for those of you who go to church regularly...) do much w/ the severely mentally ill? These days, now that most of the state hospitals are shut down and those that remain are much smaller, "care in the community" often=a life of state-subsidized poverty. Ugh. So...in 21st century America, "Schizophrenia," etc. is just part of the problem. Someone who's been "severely mentally ill" for a long time is also often poor, there's high rates of all kinds of trauma and such, and then there's unemployment and also lots of drug and alcohol abuse to contend with, plus a high rate of run ins w/ the law.

Me? Haven't done drugs in years. Most of mine were prescribed by psychiatrists who turned out be crazier--in mean, destructive ways--than I ever was, but...hey...in the world's eyes, a junkie is a junkie. I'm not one, now, by God's grace.

I am blessed to be on disability, but my parents do want to see me --do-- something, and I'm glad to have them and their ongoing support. I just...don't know what to do. It seems that some more high-functioning people/patients end up with jobs inside Mental Health, Inc. I dunno. I had tons of conflict with some of my "treatment providers," so I'm kinda hoping and praying to find a way to earn my own income outside of all that stuff.

But, yeah..."severe mental illness." Maybe this is part of God's work in my life, at some level? Or do these things just...happen, sometimes? I do think I lean on Him more now than I would if I was not mentally ill, if I didn't have to do some reality testing now and then (ok, sometimes...often...).

And yet...my life is far from miserable. My days are pretty much my own. I live in peace, comfort, and safety. I'm stigmatized and labeled in the community, but my parents' house has become...well, home, for the 1st time in a long time. Something of an oasis, really.

OK. I guess file this one under "Praise Report." I'm considering going to a church, at some point...we shall see how that goes...

Thanks for reading.

 

[Eugene]

OK. I guess file this one under "Praise Report." I'm considering going to a church, at some point...we shall see how that goes...

I hope you enjoy your time there, and are blessed.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks, Eugene. I still have some growing up to do. Thankfully...The Lord spared me throughout, and now...I['m healthy, smart enough for life, reconciled to my parents, etc. God is good!

"mental illness" isn't great, but...maybe I won't always be bona fide "sick," at least...not the extent I am right now? God has been good to me throughout, and my parents have been, too. I don't know what I'd be doing if I'd gone to the state hospital...I might actually be dead by now if I'd been committed there long-term. Ugh.

Thanks for your patience, btw. Its funny...I'm always complaining, because the "severely mentally ill" are low status, stigmatized, and "treatment" is often dehumanizing. So, yeah...I want to be treated like a human being. Who doesn't?

But then again...human beings have flaws and things to work on, etc. Who doesn't? It cuts both ways, I guess is what I'm saying.

Thanks again.

 

[Winnie]

Perhaps you could volunteer somewhere? Well, I prayed about it five years ago and God said, 'the salvation army' I totally enjoy it.