[__ Prayer __] I really Need Help

[IncredibleTransformation]

My husband passed away quite unexpectedly about three months ago. Since then I have been trying to live my life without my soul mate and best friend. I find it quite difficult to do so. I used to be into serving the Lord, but now I find myself angry at Him for allowing my husband to die like He did. I always considered my husband the best gift I ever got from the Lord other than my salvation. He gave me a gift and then He took him suddenly from me. That doesn't make sense to me.

Now I have to figure out how to live my life with a broken heart and without the my best friend. I try to put on a happy face, but I don't know how to do it. My heart isn't into anything, I get tired very quickly, and I can't remember anything either. They say it's called window's fog. It is a real thing that happens to people who are grieving from a deep loss.

To top it off I thought I had my place sold. I just can't live with the memories. Also, it is very remote and there is a lot of fixing that has to be done all the time. I can't fix everything like I should.

To tell you the truth, I don't want to go on like this for the rest of my life. I'm not suicidal, but I am asking the Lord to please fix my heart so I can be a help to others for the rest of my earthly life or just take me home so I can be with Him and my husband.

 

[Christ_empowered]

hey, sandy.

i've been praying for you lately, ever since you brought your husband's death to our attention. thanks for that, and this update, btw. this is as close to "church" as a lot of us can get for the time being (me, in particular...), so its good that you're bringing your needs to our attention.

I don't have any advice for you, clearly. We have very different lives. I care about you, and I'll keep you up in prayer. I've always liked you, because you're a genuine, compassionate believer.

What was it Paul wrote..."to live is Christ and to die is gain," something like that? The Lord has a plan for your life. He loves you beyond measure. Let's pray that His Perfect Will comes to pass in your life.

Thanks again for the post/request...please keep us all updated on how your life is developing.

 

[childeye]

First off, I am very sorry for your deep loss, and there are really no words worthy to make it better. Nor should there be, since such sorrow is sacred. My worry is for your loneliness. If you blame God, it's not the Holy Spirit you are hearing. So you are probably under attack and will persevere through constant praise on your lips. We are all praying and thinking of you, when we embrace our loved ones.

 

[Eugene]

I am asking the Lord to please fix my heart so I can be a help to others for the rest of my earthly life or just take me home.

That is one wonderful testimony in the midst of the storm you've been through.

Job 3:3 Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived.

Psa 30:5 . . . weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Dear Sister IncredibleTransformation, God has not forsaken or failed you in the very work He is doing in you for your good.
You seem to have entered a select place with our Lord much like that of Paul.
2Co 4:7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

Suffering with Christ in this present life seems to hold promise for us that no other thing can accomplish; it is even there we can ascend into that special place of winning Christ as our bridegroom.
Php 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.

I wrote the following pamphlet concerning our Christian sufferings I hope will allow you to find comfort.
Christian Sufferings
http://www.christianforums.net/Fellowship/index.php?threads/christian-sufferings.52898/

Blessings in Christ Jesus.

 

[IncredibleTransformation]

First off, I am very sorry for your deep loss, and there are really no words worthy to make it better. Nor should there be, since such sorrow is sacred. My worry is for your loneliness. If you blame God, it's not the Holy Spirit you are hearing. So you are probably under attack and will persevere through constant praise on your lips. We are all praying and thinking of you, when we embrace our loved ones.

I don't blame God, I just don't understand why He would take away His gift to me so quickly. Sometimes I feel angry and sometimes just confused. With all the different emotions I feel, I'm probably not hearing from the Holy Spirit all the time. My husband died and took most of my heart with him. He's in heaven, Jesus is in heaven, I need a reason to stay here. I'm praying for one or I just want to go home and be with them.

 

[childeye]

I don't blame God, I just don't understand why He would take away His gift to me so quickly. Sometimes I feel angry and sometimes just confused. With all the different emotions I feel, I'm probably not hearing from the Holy Spirit all the time. My husband died and took most of my heart with him. He's in heaven, Jesus is in heaven, I need a reason to stay here. I'm praying for one or I just want to go home and be with them.

I am sorry, I have no words.

 

[FrankLee]

You must find way to give I believe. There are many places that need volunteers. Sitting and thinking I believe is the worst thing. Thinking about your bereavement. My wife and I still have each other after 51 years but we lost a daughter 20 years ago yesterday. It took me years to begin to function partway normally after Joanna's death.

Death is our enemy the Bible says and it's true. But Jesus overcame death and defeated it. Draw near to Him. Closer than you've ever been. I pray your heart be lifted. Remember that your husband wanted you to carry on with hope, strength, love and faith. Jesus is now your husband as says the word.

"Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God. For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you," says the Lord , your Redeemer.
Isaiah 54:4‭-‬8 ESV
http://bible.com/59/isa.54.4-8.ESV

 

[gustokitty]

I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved husband.
You are still grieving. Please be patient with yourself. The feelings you are experiencing are normal and human. You are doing good that you are making changes that are necessary, sort of on remote control I am guessing. Going through the motions is good enough for now. It takes time. God Bless.

 

[Tane26]

Praying for you!