Hello all, As my title states, I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation. At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized. About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood. I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism. However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned. Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!