I'm afraid I've genuinely lost my salvation - please read my story and help!

Discussion in 'The Foyer' started by Nicholas, Jul 14, 2017.

  1. Nicholas

    Nicholas Guest

    Hello all,

    As my title states, I believe I've genuinely lost my salvation.

    At the age of 20, I took the altar call, went in front of my church, announced my belief in Christ and was baptized.

    About fifteen years later, I became fearful that I was neither hot nor cold, but was lukewarm. It is here that I believe I made a fatal mistake: I decided that I'd be better off cold than lukewarm, as I was afraid I didn't have what it took to be 'hot'. So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood.

    I carried this testimony of unbelief for several years. About four years ago, I felt as though God was pulling at my heart. Like He was saying "Okay Nicholas, you've played around enough, it's time to come home now." I proceeded to return to church, take the altar call again, went before the congregation and announced my belief in Christ and that I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, and took a second baptism.

    However, I am greatly concerned. I backslid VERY egregiously, went waaay over the line, so far did I go that I'm afraid all is lost, and my soul is irretrievably consigned to Hell. Perhaps what I felt in my heart about God calling me back was merely vanity, and not really true. Bottom line, I'm terrified - very much so - and would like to get opinions from Christians here, who are surely more knowledgeable than myself, as to whether or not I am now eternally damned.

    Thank you so very much, in advance. If I have put this thread in the wrong place, I apologize - please advise me if this is so, as this topic is of dire concern to me and I'm desperately seeking opinions!
  2. Eugene

    Eugene Staff Member Moderator

    Aug 24, 2012
    Dear Nicholas, welcome here in Jesus' name, and you seem to have good biblical company; Peter denied our Lord three times. Mat 26:75.
    Only you and God know if you truly ever once called upon the name of Jesus.
    Rom 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
    Rom 10:14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed?

    I wrote the following pamphlet I hope will give you understanding if you remain in Christ or not. :wave2
    Salvation with Security – 1, 2, 3
    Christ_empowered likes this.
  3. Cygnus

    Cygnus Member

    Mar 12, 2016
    I'm going to make an assumption that you were truly saved. If that be the case you are still saved...despite what you have done or denounced.
    One way we can know you can't lose your salvation is by seeing what the bible has to say....

    John 10:27 My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me. 28 I givethem eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father who has given them to Me is greater than all. No one can snatch them out of My Father’s hand.

    If you could lose your salvation then it's possible to go against what Jesus said and be taken from Him.

    Another verse is Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels norprincipalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    In your post you said "So, in my foolishness, I renounced my faith in Christ. I began to testify that Christ was a myth, and that Christianity was a falsehood."......In other words you knew the truth, were deceived (
    snatched) then acted upon that deception. BUT, and a good "but" for you..the bible says you can't be snatched from Jesus. For the believer nothing can..."separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. "

    On the other hand, even though your salvation is secure...as you were bought and paid for...sealed with the Holy Spirit...you seemed to have suffered great loss in personal fellowship with the Lord.

    Just for the record, there are some here that teach you can lose your salvation....they even have a verse for you that says once you've lost your salvation, you can never get it back. This is a false theology.

    Then again....I started out with the assumption you were truly saved, born again, regenerated.....but John had this to say concerning some people that have found themselves in a situation similiar to yours:
    1 John 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.

    The bottom line, if at age 20 you were a true believer.....you're still saved. Never lost your salvation. The bible instructs us to be on guard so we don't fall into the pit you found yourself in.

    Eugene likes this.
  4. Not_Now.Soon

    Not_Now.Soon Member

    Aug 16, 2015
    It's ok to feel remorse for turning away from God. What you did is between you and God. And only you two can know the severity. But take heart. Jesus taught in a parable about the Kingdom of Heaven, and tgen showed the live of a father to his wayward son who demanded his inhertiance and left. The son returned broke, and willing to take on the role of a servent instead of his father's son, because of what he did. But instead the father saw the son returning and rushed to meet him and celibrate his son's return.
    Jesus called God Father, and gave us permission to do the same. So take heart. Our Heavenly Father loves us dearly. Jesus has also said that all of heaven celibrates when one sinner comes to God. More then if a person stayed with God and never left.

    Take heart because God loves each of us. And loves you. Like a father's love.
    Christ_empowered and Eugene like this.
  5. Nicholas

    Nicholas Guest

    Thank you all so much! This gives me heart and hope.

    I prayed to The Father, that if He was still listening to me, to please speak through anyone who responded to deliver me unto the truth. I have been doing my best to follow Christ since my return, but admittedly have been forsaking fellowship. We have a special needs child that prevents my wife and I from getting out a lot. I know it sounds like a lame excuse. I've been in the market for an Internet group, for two reasons 1) to submit my embarrassing story and collect opinions and 2) to maybe join and get my fellowship that way.

    Again, I cannot thank you all enough for the kind and reassuring responses!

    God bless you all and maranatha.

    With love,

    Eugene likes this.
  6. markathome

    markathome Member

    Jan 30, 2016
    Guess I'll play the bad guy.:confused2

    Saw hundreds upon hundreds while running the Bus Ministry, most of them around 10-15, greatest sight in the world to see a kid who has serious issue's make that choice. But it's a lot like an engagement to get married, some are ready & some are not, so they backslide. That Word sown in your Heart doesn't return to God void, it did it's Job!

    Again the Word that was sown in your Heart didn't return to God void!
    If Christ would have returned & found you LukeWarm you would had realized you made the correct choice of the 2 bad choices you had!
    To have what it takes to be 'hot' requires the Holy Spirit.

    Like an another engagement to get married, some are ready & some are not, so they backslide.
    Don't Backslide again this time! :pray
    Hebrews 6:4-6 is some scary stuff but since you was brought back to repentance then you haven't been Baptized in the Holy Spirit YET!
    to whom much is given, much will be required! Matthew 24:42-51

    Quit doubting & TRUST IN JESUS! He has a plan for you!
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2017
    Eugene and Edward like this.
  7. Zackuth

    Zackuth Member

    Jul 14, 2017
    Nicholas, since you are so afraid of losing your faith, I really don't think you have. If you truly lost faith, you wouldn't be concerned whether you had it or not. Your basis for your crisis of faith is your feeling of hot and cold--do not use this as your basis! There have been many times I don't "feel like a Christian" but feelings are not a part of salvation, only Jesus' sacrificial death and God's gift of faith are. Listen less to your feelings where the devil can have influence and rely more on God's promise where the devil has no influence.
    dirtfarmer and Eugene like this.
  8. Edward

    Edward Member

    Sep 18, 2012
    Columbus Ohio
    markathome nailed it, Brother. The proof of what He says is in your own mind & conscience. That you're worried and convicted about it...is the work of the Holy Spirit! (Through the Word which was sown in your heart, like stated).

    This here is a bullseye, and true. No one can go to God unless called. One doesn't wake up today and say, I'll be hot today...it could be a desire of your heart to do this, but is given by the Holy Spirit.

    Feed your spirit, Brother. Your spirit food is the Word of God. Read that book, meditate on it, study it...that gives the Holy Spirit something to work with within you...you sow the seeds, the Holy Spirit waters it.
    Pray about all this. Talk to the Lord like you would your best friend. Tell Him what you want.
    Eugene likes this.
  9. Nicholas

    Nicholas Guest

    Again, thank you all!

    I'm going to join here if I can. I mostly lurk but will have questions, as I'm planning my second run through (mostly) the New Testament.


    Eugene likes this.
  10. dirtfarmer

    dirtfarmer Member

    Aug 10, 2016
    Loganville Ga
    hello Nicholas, dirtfarmer here

    Jesus said in John 5:39 that salvation is not in scripture but in him. The scriptures testify of the savior but are not the savior. If you are trying to find salvation in the written word you will never find it. Have you ever died to self and let Jesus Christ live through you? If you have then salvation has come to you. It is a personal thing between you and Christ, no one else.
    Christ_empowered likes this.
  12. Nicholas:
    Scripture says: "People who conceal their sins will not prosper,
    but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy." Prov 28:13 NLT

    Also: "If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.
    My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. 2 He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.
    1 John 1:8-2:2 NLT
    Confess your sin, repent and continue in the Lord. He is willing and able to forgive!
  13. th1b.taylor

    th1b.taylor Member

    Dec 4, 2010
    SE Texas
    Luke 16:11-32 frames your situation. In this parable, Jesus told, you are the younger son and God is the father. The very best picture I've seen painted and directly relating to this story was painted by a Chinese man. I'll do my best to relate the scene to you because it is so clear.

    We all know the Old Testament Jew was forbidden to have anything to do with Pigs, just as the Hyper Islamist (ISIS, Al-Qaeda and many other Splinter Groups) will not eat it and fears for his Spiritual Life if he nears a pig.

    But when his money had run out and he began to starve he returned to, just, be a Servant of his Father's. And he is rags and barefooted as he comes to the final portion of his jorney he is desperate. Now a proper Chinese Man will never be found, alive or dead with two colors of shoes. But from his informal clothing it is obvious he had been resting on the on the porch when he saw his youngest approaching, in the distance, he just grabbed two shoes from the pille on the porch by the door. It is thus that he has on one Blue Shoe and one Red Shoe, shameful and he does not care, his son has returned.

    That is exactly where you stand right now, with Jesus wrapping His arms around you and demanding the servants bring you proper garments, shoes and a Family Ring that will identify you as the son His son and always was and forever will be!

    You are sorrowful and it sounds to me as though you have and are repenting of the sins you; ve committed, and you walked away but now you have repented and returned. The unforgivable sin oes to the person the dies and never accepts Jesus as their Saviour.
  14. for_his_glory

    for_his_glory Member

    Apr 22, 2011
    Pennsylvania, USA
    Nicholas your story is not unlike my own and many others. Our feelings were genuine, but it was not the altar nor the baptism that saved us, but us confessing Christ as our Lord and Savior, Romans 10:9, 10 and that we needed a personal relationship with Christ. It took me many years to discover that relationship and it was through the trials and tribulations of my own making that drew me to that relationship. Here is my testimony and I pray it helps you.

    May 18th 1997

    I am lost, confused and scared. Will I ever fit in anywhere in this life? I'm hurting, but who cares. I'm lonely and all alone within myself. I've been so used and abused. Where and when will it be my turn! Where are the open arms to hold me and hug me, to tell me I do matter in this life! Where is the voice to calm my tears of pain? I give and give, but nothing gives back in return. I'm mad and angry for what has been taken away from me! How do I go on? I search for God to answer my needs, but never get an answer.

    I am a voice that cries out in the wilderness. Will no one listen! Will no one care! I feel like I am invisible at times and when I pray I feel my prayers are falling on deaf ears. I know God loves me. He has rescued me from death and destruction. He has rescued me from wanting to commit suicide. I have never opened my feelings with anyone except God. I have purged and purged until I cannot cry anymore. God has forgiven and forgot my past, how do I! I've been told I am strong and can handle my situations, guess what, I am not strong and I can't handle it anymore! Please God help me!

    I am now ready to open up. I can't deal with the pain anymore. I want to let loose and completely die to myself and live for God. I'm asking for total deliverance of all the holds Satan has on me. I'm tired of fighting this on my own. I'm tired of Satan laughing at me and making me feel like nothing and always coming against me. Jesus, save me from my torment! You have called me into service and I am not ready. Lord God please perform a complete deliverance in me. Make my feet straight for what you are calling me to do. Show me how to do your will. Lord you know my heart and you know what I feel I need to do. Open that door and prepare me away.

    This is the answer God gave me. When you cry out to him, he will hear you and speak to your heart. You might not like the answer he gives you, but if you really listen it is always the right answer

    11 Kings 5:10, 11
    But Naaman was wroth and went away and said, Behold, I thought he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God and strike his hand over the place and recover the leper.

    God was showing me in the above scripture the beginning of relying solely on him and not what man could do for me. I was going from church to church trying to fit in with the people. I was trying to find answers and help for myself through the recognition of man. All that got me was more disappointment and frustration. When I learned to give myself totally over to the Lord and rely on him alone and his word is when my life completely changed for the better. Now I serve God with a glad heart and praise him for all his wonderful blessings.
    th1b.taylor likes this.
  15. I'M Grams

    I'M Grams Member

    Mar 4, 2017
    At a time like you ! my family just went to another church ........ no religion......... and we all became saved !

    For 50 some years we felt un saved............. now 30 years later we are all still saved and know the truth......... !

Share This Page