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In need of fellowship and guidance

A

April1230

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#1
I have felt the need to vent about this for quite some time. I haven't shared this with anyone close, as I am too embarrassed and ashamed to even admit the problem. I have been struggling with an intense infatuation with someone for about 3 months. He is somebody that I work with, a manager to be specific. I think about him constantly; I even try to flirt with him a little bit. I know that what I am doing or feeling isn't right, for he isn't a believer, though this is just an assumption. I also think that he may be at most 5-10 years my senior. I have tried avoiding him and putting a stop to my sometimes unintentional flirtatious attempts, but I cannot seem to do it consistently. This is not just because of the fact that our encounters are unavoidable due to the work setting; I just do not want to desist in these actions to make him like me and to know him romantically. What do I do? I just can't give this up! I'm always on the lookout for my future husband, the one God has in store for me; this has been on my mind for years, so that is why it is so challenging to just flat out stop.
 
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#2
If I understand your last couple sentences correctly you are saying
you know God will point out the right guy at the right time and while
your are waiting you keep trying to find him yourself.
Did i misunderstand?
flirting while waiting isnt all bad, infatuation might turn bad
you said he was not a believer, which infers you are
It is always a rough road when believers and non marry
He has not responded to your flirting, might be an answer there
I probably should not be giving advice
 
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#3
April your post is open to the whole cyber world. Please consider that if you respond... Sometimes just telling someone , besides your best friend, can really help putting thoughts into perspective.
 

for_his_glory

Light in darkness
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#4
2Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

You said you didn't know if he was a believer or not so I would suggest that you allow yourself to strike up a conversation with him and get to know if he is Spiritually born-again or not. Just make it a casual conversation as the Holy Spirit will give you the words to speak and the perfect timing to speak to him.
 
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#5
I have felt the need to vent about this for quite some time. I haven't shared this with anyone close, as I am too embarrassed and ashamed to even admit the problem. I have been struggling with an intense infatuation with someone for about 3 months. He is somebody that I work with, a manager to be specific. I think about him constantly; I even try to flirt with him a little bit. I know that what I am doing or feeling isn't right, for he isn't a believer, though this is just an assumption. I also think that he may be at most 5-10 years my senior. I have tried avoiding him and putting a stop to my sometimes unintentional flirtatious attempts, but I cannot seem to do it consistently. This is not just because of the fact that our encounters are unavoidable due to the work setting; I just do not want to desist in these actions to make him like me and to know him romantically. What do I do? I just can't give this up! I'm always on the lookout for my future husband, the one God has in store for me; this has been on my mind for years, so that is why it is so challenging to just flat out stop.
I don't think you can do anything, short of suppress your feelings. (But you don't want to do that) Yes it's a tricky situation, I know I've been there myself. But I have confidence you can work out what to do, even if you have to bend some rules.
 
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#6
If he is a manager and he is over you, you might be considerate of his professional reputation . . . and how he could already have someone.

If you don't know he's saved, you can do well to get to know him; but be sensitive to if and how he pleases to share personally with you :)

"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)

And, yes, I would say you can pray and trust God to guide you (Isaiah 58:11).
 
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#7
There are, however, many documented cases where believers and non-believers do very well in romantic relationships. It all depends on how much weight you put on intellectual adherence to doctrine vs. howl much weight you put on how one lives.
 

Knotical

Shepherd of the Knotical kid-farm
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#9
You do have to be really careful when it comes to romance in the workplace, as you could very easily enter the whole "harassment" realm. I am not saying that is your intent, but that could wind up being the end result if he is not reciprocating in your affections.

Also, if he is your direct supervisor, or someone who is in a position of authority over you I would just steer clear of any kind of romantic relationship at all.

Check your company's policy on this issue as well.
 
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#10
None of it matters if he's not into you. But some things to consider before you begin to entertain it any further than you have. You already feel in your heart it's wrong. So the heart isn't always true and is deceitful above all else so lets go to the next check sum and see if we can pass that. Does what you want violate God's law or word? and go from there and stop when you have your answer.
 
L

lifeszero

Guest
#11
I have felt the need to vent about this for quite some time. I haven't shared this with anyone close, as I am too embarrassed and ashamed to even admit the problem. I have been struggling with an intense infatuation with someone for about 3 months. He is somebody that I work with, a manager to be specific. I think about him constantly; I even try to flirt with him a little bit. I know that what I am doing or feeling isn't right, for he isn't a believer, though this is just an assumption. I also think that he may be at most 5-10 years my senior. I have tried avoiding him and putting a stop to my sometimes unintentional flirtatious attempts, but I cannot seem to do it consistently. This is not just because of the fact that our encounters are unavoidable due to the work setting; I just do not want to desist in these actions to make him like me and to know him romantically. What do I do? I just can't give this up! I'm always on the lookout for my future husband, the one God has in store for me; this has been on my mind for years, so that is why it is so challenging to just flat out stop.
Listen to your conscience, it knows what to do. You can only hear your conscience once you kick out all the other negative voice's.