- Nov 17, 2010
Well, maybe it is a sign of someone being honest about who they are. I mean, God is showing me some things about myself that I have always tried to hide. In a way, that is dishonest. For example, I have fits of anger, but I never let anyone know, or hadn't. I try to hide my worst side for fear I won't be liked, or I might even scare someone. I mean I am not homicidal or suicidal, but I get really angry sometimes at myself. I wait til I am all alone (well, God hears me) and I cuss and belly ache (been reading Job, that has helped me a lot). Job belly ached (who wouldn't in his shoes) but he never turned his back on God, he never lost his faith. I am so ashamed when I come unglued, like, I am going to lose God's love for me, untrue. People may freak and walk away from me, but God never does. But He is also teaching me more how to even praise Him in the hard times. Now when I get unglued, I hit my knees in tears, and just pour out my heart to Him, praising Him for all things, even the hardships which teach me so much more about Him.