Is it better to be single forever?

[darktipper]

I have come to terms with my choice to remain alone.... It maybe unhealthy but I think it is best for me to avoid a relationship in the future...;)

 

[Pizzaguy]

I have come to terms with my choice to remain alone.... It maybe unhealthy but I think it is best for me to avoid a relationship in the future...;)

Unhealthy to remain alone? Perhaps.

However: There is nothing more unhealthy than an unhealthy relationship.

 

[Disciple77]

there are scriptures that talk about this in corinthians, paul was saying how a woman and man when they have a wfe, live to please the woman or man other than God, but someone who is as he is, or 'single' lives to please the Lord.. he said that it is okay for a man to have sex after marriage if for its better to marry than to burn with passion, but he goes on to say that if a man has self-control over himself and could remain single that this even better, and an honourable thing.

all from 1 Corinthians 7.
read the whole chapter, but verses 8, and 9 are good.

 

[JohnEboy1983]

The bible says its better to marry than to burn with passion, however a lot of advice you will hear is that we need to stop looking and let God work it out if we are even meant to be married and that God may bring us a wife later on in life. Hard to sit back and wait it out if you are burning with passion, lol.

I just gave up my desire to be married and placed it in Gods hands and its been helping me alot with temptation since I dont even look at women anymore with the intent of seeing if they are the one or not. My current attitude is that I am not going to be burdened with these marriage desires that will lead to dissapointment or cause me to stumble and sin, so I have took a big step by saying I am going to live my life as if I am going to live my life single, and as a big step of faith i told the Lord that my desires I have got rid of and given them into his hand to do with them whatever he wills and I trust him to work things out if its his will for my life and if not I wont be dissapointed because I am on the mindset of a single life. I have not completely blocked out marriage because I am open to whatever God has for my life but I definitely have planned for a single life for now

 

[darktipper]

What if you burn with the passion and still say no to marriage? Would that be running from God or saving yourself from divorce in the future?

 

[Joe Berry]

I don't feel like going out on dates anymore/impressing a woman and or showing ambitions in life to her and etc.... I know everyone has a preference in a person but finding the right person can be a lifetime. I might be that nice guy who finish last but oh well lol. I rather ask if Jehovah could make me rich instead of having a mate. A single rich guy who helps others. Dating is just not for me. I see it as a time and money waster for me (I never dated a giver maybe that is why.). Plus Paul and Jesus made a wise observation about marriages today. They will end up getting you in a struggle with the other person. I looked at Solomon had hundreds of wives and was not satisfied and his wives had him worship an idol god. David had many wives and cheated with one of his friend's wives. God had Hosea marry an adulteress woman. Jacob and Rachel had tons of run ins with each other over having a child. What if Adam told god thanks for Eve but I am cool to have her as a friend and not a wife, then what? Or is it because of sin that lies in men and women which cause marriages to fail. I have friends who were happy to be married then divorce happened due to either the man or woman cheating. With the failure rate at 50 percent to 60 percent makes me take a hard look and see that being alone may not be that bad even if it is against God's will for my life. I know family members may look at me like why is he not married yet or what is he doing?

It took me 36 years of my life to find the woman for me. It took patience and a LOT of searching. Have patience friend!

 

[darktipper]

Even if God put the right woman in place for me, I think that I would take a detour lol. I don't feel like going through the same song and dance of taking out to date and calling and she makes up excuses on why she flaked moves again...... I wish God would tell me if I need to stay single. But then again I may force it upon myself to avoid disappointment

 

[Sakura]

I have been cheated on in the past so now I tell people I am staying single forever and they think I am crazy. Is it wrong to disregard relationships? I don't feel like asking a woman out anymore and all of the complex relationship stuff anymore. I even had women want to go out with me in a way but they see that I rather keep them as a friend.......
I even prayed on this and said I think that I am done. Plus no one stays together anymore in today's world.

It's far better to stay single than to marry someone who does not love or respect you.

 

[Pizzaguy]

It's far better to stay single than to marry someone who does not love or respect you.

If I didn't already know that before (and I did) I confirmed it last year.


(I was blinded by my love for her... and a one-way love is not love, it's sadness.)

 

[darktipper]

I decided to remain alone....
On the outside looking in, it looks like too much work to please a spouse. I had a gf and it was getting bad. She barely gave back.
I don't feel like going through the hurt anymore..... Plus at my age most women have kids and or multiple sex partners divorce etc..
I guess I am at peace with it.

 

[Rinid]

2) I would NEVER consider a non-Christian mate - and I won't consider a professing Christian who does not attend church - no matter what the explanation.

I once met a missionary who said they had not been to church in years.. I asked how come.. they said well i'm in a part of the world that church is illegal and i've been doing my best to reach the ones I can.. we can't just have church.. it's nice to come home and rejoice in such a freedom thou. Just a thought

 

[cyberjosh]

I once met a missionary who said they had not been to church in years.. I asked how come.. they said well i'm in a part of the world that church is illegal and i've been doing my best to reach the ones I can.. we can't just have church.. it's nice to come home and rejoice in such a freedom thou. Just a thought

Your point is noted, but I don't think that's what he meant. It's a question of being equally yoked.

 

[cyberjosh]

Funny thing is I thanked God that day......
But now I careless about a relationship. I don't have it in me to go through that all over again. The calling/paying for dates/cards/opening doors/spending time together/etc. It was too much stress......

The stress factor is what is hard for me too. I've only had one girlfriend, and that was 7 years ago back in high school (and it didn't last very long either). I've had several close friends throughout college that were female but nothing serious ever developed. And the thing is, if I ever end up in a serious relationship I want it to mostly happen on its own, due to mutual attraction and interest, not because of me running around like some "playa" fool who hustles himself to women (something that would be completely out of character for me anyway, because I'm mostly a reserved and 'calm' person). My thoughts go back and forth at times about marriage vs. not marrying. Either choice actually comes with responsibility and even somewhat of a "burden" to not screw up whatever your choice is.

I'm not big on "social fluff" in a relationship though, it seems fake to me or like decorative garnish on a plate of food (pardon the analogy). And if I do get a girlfriend I will NOT be sending her messages on facebook every day, as some (I'm not joking) 'require' their boyfriends to do (one of my closest friends had such a relationship.... oh the horror stories I could tell...). I'm not going to fake something if its real for me, rather I'll express it in the natural way that it comes for me. It doesn't mean I'll never go out of my way (and openning a door, for example, is really a fairly mild show of appreciation IMO, not too much to ask) for her, but I'm not going to jump through unreasonable hoops. This is why I currently have the "stay and wait" mentality right now, and which I occasionally pray about. If it's meant to be it'll happen, I tell myself. But at the moment I am not actively seeking a relationship, although I wouldn't mind having one. As I said, my thoughts go back and forth on this issue whenever it comes to mind. But I seriously doubt that I am alone in that experience.

I joke with my family (mostly my uncles & my grandmother) when they prod me or probe for information on my relationship status and I just say, "Maybe I'll just be like the Apostle Paul". And the thing is.... I half mean it, and I half don't.... only because I don't know the future. I have to have peace either way wherever God leads me, or perhaps 'permits' me, to go concerning a serious relationship. But as I said, I have a fairly low tolerance for jumping through ridiculous hoops, stressing myself out (although stress on occasion can be healthy), and certainly will not be 'hustling' myself to get into a relationship. No garnish for me.

My thoughts,

~Josh

 

[darktipper]

The stress factor is what is hard for me too. I've only had one girlfriend, and that was 7 years ago back in high school (and it didn't last very long either). I've had several close friends throughout college that were female but nothing serious ever developed. And the thing is, if I ever end up in a serious relationship I want it to mostly happen on its own, due to mutual attraction and interest, not because of me running around like some "playa" fool who hustles himself to women (something that would be completely out of character for me anyway, because I'm mostly a reserved and 'calm' person). My thoughts go back and forth at times about marriage vs. not marrying. Either choice actually comes with responsibility and even somewhat of a "burden" to not screw up whatever your choice is.

I'm not big on "social fluff" in a relationship though, it seems fake to me or like decorative garnish on a plate of food (pardon the analogy). And if I do get a girlfriend I will NOT be sending her messages on facebook every day, as some (I'm not joking) 'require' their boyfriends to do (one of my closest friends had such a relationship.... oh the horror stories I could tell...). I'm not going to fake something if its real for me, rather I'll express it in the natural way that it comes for me. It doesn't mean I'll never go out of my way (and openning a door, for example, is really a fairly mild show of appreciation IMO, not too much to ask) for her, but I'm not going to jump through unreasonable hoops. This is why I currently have the "stay and wait" mentality right now, and which I occasionally pray about. If it's meant to be it'll happen, I tell myself. But at the moment I am not actively seeking a relationship, although I wouldn't mind having one. As I said, my thoughts go back and forth on this issue whenever it comes to mind. But I seriously doubt that I am alone in that experience.

I joke with my family (mostly my uncles & my grandmother) when they prod me or probe for information on my relationship status and I just say, "Maybe I'll just be like the Apostle Paul". And the thing is.... I half mean it, and I half don't.... only because I don't know the future. I have to have peace either way wherever God leads me, or perhaps 'permits' me, to go concerning a serious relationship. But as I said, I have a fairly low tolerance for jumping through ridiculous hoops, stressing myself out (although stress on occasion can be healthy), and certainly will not be 'hustling' myself to get into a relationship. No garnish for me.

My thoughts,

~Josh

I just avoid conversations on relationships with family members. Getting into one was one of my life's downfalls. Now I tell people I am better off alone and they look at me like I am crazy.