Is this the end?

Discussion in 'Prayer Requests & Praises' started by Robert Chirino III, Dec 5, 2017.

  1. Robert Chirino III

    Robert Chirino III Member

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    Hi, I believe I've written here before, but I never received any type of response, although I understand that you have millions of questions and prayers coming to you each minute of each day. Yet I hope that I can get some prayer and insight on this.

    I was saved as a teenager in 2001; I'm 34 at the moment. I had always had plenty of Godly lead people around me, and I wanted to serve Him. But not long after, I fell away due to wanting to be with friends and to "do my own thing". I purposely avoided God for years, falling into sexual addiction, habitual lying, using people for desires of the flesh, and all the while, God kept calling to me, urging me to return. But I let the lies of the devil and the addiction of sex keep me away. Then after some time, I could no longer hear God's call or feel any conviction or pull. Yet I continued to immerse myself in the disgusting sin of my flesh and this world. Now I am haunted by the unpardonable sin and a heart so calloused I barely feel anything. The person that I once was has vanished and I wish I was scared out of my mind. I WISH that I felt conviction. But I know that I am without excuse and I have mocked God be rejecting His call and grieving the Holy Spirit. Even when I tell my parents that I love them, the words feel so hollow and useless, like a lie. I feel so devoid of caring compassion and anything of Jesus. Have I gone beyond the line? I don't feel like life has anything left for me. Am I doomed for all eternity? I have become so haughty and puffed up in my own understanding. I want to be convicted and repent. I don't want to be doomed to hell. I know there is nothing that I can ever do on my own. Will Jesus reach out to me ever again or have I insulted and rejected Him too much and gone too far? I'm really wishing that I was much more terrified than I am right now. Don't no what to do. I am constantly haunted by who I've become and what lies ahead. Please respond soon. Needing help badly.

    Robert Chirino
     
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  2. Eugene

    Eugene Staff Member Moderator

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    Dear Robert Chirino III, I truly believe you are as saved today as you were the moment you first believed. To present the help I believe you need at this moment in your life is the truth of Who Jesus is to our lives, and God's promise to never leave or forsake us. Heb 13:5.
    Please consider the following pamphlet I wrote.
    Salvation with Security – 1, 2, 3
    http://www.christianforums.net/Fell...ds/salvation-with-security-parts-1-2-3.52236/
    :wave2
     
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  3. Robert Chirino III

    Robert Chirino III Member

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    Thank you Eugene for you reply and for the pamphlet link that you sent. My main question has mainly to do with the constant rejection of the Holy Spirit and the unpardonable sin. As I said in my post, ive been hardened for many years and willfully sinning against God which has made my heart hard. I have heard many times by many pastors that the constant willfully rejection of the Holy Spirits conviction is what that is. And I wonder if I have gone over that line. I have next to no feeling or emotion in me. Its truly a deadly and dangerous place to be. Forgive me; I'm certainly not going against what you've stated in your pamphlet by any means. I am just worried that I have crossed the point of no return. I just wish that I had the urge to repent more in me and the conviction I once had. I hope this makes sense.
     
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  4. Eugene

    Eugene Staff Member Moderator

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  5. LovethroughDove

    LovethroughDove Member

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    If you love God come into his light and expose everything. Then you'll understand that you are his and it is his will that will be done through you. Your life was bought at a very high price.

    It sounds like you may understand what I'm telling you. I know it may sound like Christian language, but you know what I mean.
     
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  6. Knotical

    Knotical Staff Member Moderator

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    Not sure where you are in studying God's word, but the only unpardonable sin is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. That is to attribute to the Holy Spirit that which is actually of Satan. With that in mind, I wonder what it is you consider you have done that would be that bad?

    We all sin, even Christians. We just have the asurety of Salvation because of what Christ did, so we are no longer under the burden of sin and its consequences.
     
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  7. Christ_empowered

    Christ_empowered Member

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    hi. there is now, then, no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. shame and looking back over the past...that's how satan operates. he's good at dredging up old sins (I should know...).

    draw nigh unto Him. I think its understandable to think/feel at times that one is beyond forgiveness. that's satan, that's the world's view of things, etc. its not of Christ, just so we're clear.

    i'll definitely keep you up in prayer. your thoughts, difficulties overlap w/ some of what I go thru, so...yeah. I cannot do much more than share information ive received from other Christians...and pray, of course. God hears your prayers just as surely as He hears the prayers of the most righteous Christians out there.
     
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  8. for_his_glory

    for_his_glory Member

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    Hi Robert and welcome to CF, :wave2

    Just the fact that you are here asking for help is the first step of you turning back to God as He has never left you as it is you that have left Him for a time. Many of us have been there did that and Gods grace will always be there waiting on you. You have done nothing that would cause you to lose His love. In His longsuffering and patience, 2 Peter 3:9, God waits for your return with opened arms as He did with the prodigal son, Luke 15:11-32. The balls in your court so go talk to Him, He will hear you and then find some good Christian fellowship.
     
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