Robert Chirino III
Member
Hi, I believe I've written here before, but I never received any type of response, although I understand that you have millions of questions and prayers coming to you each minute of each day. Yet I hope that I can get some prayer and insight on this.
I was saved as a teenager in 2001; I'm 34 at the moment. I had always had plenty of Godly lead people around me, and I wanted to serve Him. But not long after, I fell away due to wanting to be with friends and to "do my own thing". I purposely avoided God for years, falling into sexual addiction, habitual lying, using people for desires of the flesh, and all the while, God kept calling to me, urging me to return. But I let the lies of the devil and the addiction of sex keep me away. Then after some time, I could no longer hear God's call or feel any conviction or pull. Yet I continued to immerse myself in the disgusting sin of my flesh and this world. Now I am haunted by the unpardonable sin and a heart so calloused I barely feel anything. The person that I once was has vanished and I wish I was scared out of my mind. I WISH that I felt conviction. But I know that I am without excuse and I have mocked God be rejecting His call and grieving the Holy Spirit. Even when I tell my parents that I love them, the words feel so hollow and useless, like a lie. I feel so devoid of caring compassion and anything of Jesus. Have I gone beyond the line? I don't feel like life has anything left for me. Am I doomed for all eternity? I have become so haughty and puffed up in my own understanding. I want to be convicted and repent. I don't want to be doomed to hell. I know there is nothing that I can ever do on my own. Will Jesus reach out to me ever again or have I insulted and rejected Him too much and gone too far? I'm really wishing that I was much more terrified than I am right now. Don't no what to do. I am constantly haunted by who I've become and what lies ahead. Please respond soon. Needing help badly.
Robert Chirino
I was saved as a teenager in 2001; I'm 34 at the moment. I had always had plenty of Godly lead people around me, and I wanted to serve Him. But not long after, I fell away due to wanting to be with friends and to "do my own thing". I purposely avoided God for years, falling into sexual addiction, habitual lying, using people for desires of the flesh, and all the while, God kept calling to me, urging me to return. But I let the lies of the devil and the addiction of sex keep me away. Then after some time, I could no longer hear God's call or feel any conviction or pull. Yet I continued to immerse myself in the disgusting sin of my flesh and this world. Now I am haunted by the unpardonable sin and a heart so calloused I barely feel anything. The person that I once was has vanished and I wish I was scared out of my mind. I WISH that I felt conviction. But I know that I am without excuse and I have mocked God be rejecting His call and grieving the Holy Spirit. Even when I tell my parents that I love them, the words feel so hollow and useless, like a lie. I feel so devoid of caring compassion and anything of Jesus. Have I gone beyond the line? I don't feel like life has anything left for me. Am I doomed for all eternity? I have become so haughty and puffed up in my own understanding. I want to be convicted and repent. I don't want to be doomed to hell. I know there is nothing that I can ever do on my own. Will Jesus reach out to me ever again or have I insulted and rejected Him too much and gone too far? I'm really wishing that I was much more terrified than I am right now. Don't no what to do. I am constantly haunted by who I've become and what lies ahead. Please respond soon. Needing help badly.
Robert Chirino