it was NOT WORTH IT

[DeepBlueSea]

When I came to the point where I dropped to my knees and gave up my 'right' to a husband, and offered up my life to God, willing to be single all my life, and meaning it, that is when I had peace about it.

Within 2 months I met my husband and knew instantly he was 'the one'. We had known each other since we were 7 years old, but had never been friends. We married 4 months later. God knew what He was doing!

So, the short of it is that when we come to the point where we are willing to give up and not have the thing we desire most, that is when God blesses us with it. Relinquishing that desired thing effectively removes the grasping within us, and allows God to do what He desires in and for us!

That is a great testimony. At what age did you meet him? I am guessing you have felt as I do in the past.

The surrendering what we want in order to be blessed doesnt seem to apply to everyone. Lots of people get married in their mid twenties or younger and dont go through this. Lots of people seem to have whatever they want. why do i have to beg and surrender??

Also.. if it was Gods will for me to remain single, then would I know that by now? Wouldnt that desire have gone away already? What do you think?

 

[Alabaster]

That is a great testimony. At what age did you meet him? I am guessing you have felt as I do in the past.

We were in the first grade together. As teens we went to the same church, but he hung with the younger fellows. I didn't have any interaction with him at all. But the Lord pointed me out to him and he asked me f I would go out with him one day when we were 22. It's a funny story, too!

The surrendering what we want in order to be blessed doesnt seem to apply to everyone. Lots of people get married in their mid twenties or younger and dont go through this. Lots of people seem to have whatever they want. why do i have to beg and surrender??

We just don't know what the deep longings are for in people. We think they are getting what they want from God, but do we really know? All we can do is live our lives the way God wants.

I had to surrender because I had a strong will, and I was acting out in promiscuity. God had to break me. I love Him for it.

Do you know that a wild horse once broken develops a strong love tie with his master? That is what happens when God breaks us.

Rejoice in that!

Also.. if it was Gods will for me to remain single, then would I know that by now? Wouldnt that desire have gone away already? What do you think?

It is often a struggle for people to come to the realization that God's desire for them is to be single. However, if the desire is very strong for marriage, and your life is not geared toward ministry to singles or for a ministry that is so fulfilling you that you do not need the support of a life partner, you can be pretty sure that God is not calling you to singlehood.

 

[Sam21]

Hmmm.. thanks for bringing up soul ties. I have not thought about this at all.. or ever before, really. Based on the way I feel, I would have to say that it is true. I mean, I am sad and aching over this man who is CLEARLY no good for me. It is totally irrational for me to want someone back who is obviously undateable and has hurt me. The only explanation for this would be a "soul tie" because no one in their right, logically thinking mind would say "i want to go back to someone
who is probably going to hurt me again". It might explain why people repeatedly go back to toxic relationships.

anyway I have been reading and researching on this topic now since you said that and it seems like it makes sense. But it also doesnt explain why this doesnt always go both ways. If our souls are tied now, he should also be in emotional torment (not that he isnt, I have no idea what he is feeling. But im saying after a year and half of sleeping together... he APPEARS to be doing much better than me). Unless he has already prayed and repented and I dont know about it (quite possible). The point is: there are many one sided relationships out there where one person is more in love with the other.. this is not consistant with the soul tie explanation. What about that? Now I am curious..

I am not sure how i feel about this person but it is irrelevant.. because the only thing that matters is that the relationship is damaging and i cant return to it. Feelings are not indicators of truth.. and I know that what I "feel" right now is besides the point and i should not allow emotions to lead me back into a dangerous situation. (doing that is not biblical, anyway, as emotions are deceptive). I know that "IF" i am to be with this man, God has work to do and THEN he may or may not open the door for that in a healthy way. Who knows?
For now, it doesnt matter...

the only directions I have received from God are to 1) work on my friendships with the women in my group 2) pray consistantly that I may come to forgive this man for hurting me 3) totally refrain from dating or spending time one on one with any man until further notice...

I am clear on these three things.. as for the rest, I dont know..

I am 33 years old and tired of struggling with dating.. sometimes I feel so abandoned by God in this area. Which (if i were to be totally honest) is part of the reason i did this in the first place.

But I want to hear more thoughts and opinions on this soul ties idea??? What does everyone think?

Actually your thinking seems to be clear, the only soul tie in the bible that I have read of was between two men(David and Jonathan), soul tie is something produced in our time, I suppose it is real in the minds of those who believe it is real and not real in the minds of those who do not believe it is real. Male and female attraction can be very powerful, however much of it is coming from the natural realm, people are attracted to what looks good to them. If you are a female try to look as good as you can and go where there are good men(not perfect,no such thing). With men it is usually looks, sorry but that is the truth. I knew a woman who had been in lots of things in the world and when she decided to go to church all the men(single ones)were falling all over her because she was "fair to look upon" as Abraham said, so look good and then be VERY careful...you seem to have a good attitude, also,YOU can pick who you want to marry as long as they are a real born again christian...God has given you the choice. The bible says that a single christian woman can marry who she chooses as long as the person is in the Lord,so only date real christian men.

 

[handy]

But I want to hear more thoughts and opinions on this soul ties idea??? What does everyone think?

With all due respect to the Lords, (and I truly do respect and love the Lords and Alabaster as sisters in Christ) I would be one of those Christians who does not believe in the concept of a "soul tie" that needs some kind of mystical "renouncing" to break...the concept just isn't in the Scriptures...only a few verses, which really don't truly speak to the issue can be found to give nominal support to the idea. I actually did a pretty in-depth study on it...and came up finding that this idea has far more to do with New Age philosophy than Scriptural truth.

What I do know is that we women do have a deep desire for a husband...this is a God-given desire...and it hurts when we see so many silly young things get married, sometimes several times, and here we are stuck, being single, seeing our childbearing years slip away.

Is it any wonder we can fall into foolishness over a man?

DBS, I was single until I was 38 years old, so I know how hard it is...especially when one falls for someone. I was engaged once before I met my husband, and there were also a couple of other guys in the years of my adult single-hood that I soaked many a pillow with tears over.

I think if you talk with most women who do not marry in their 20's, you'll find the story to be pretty much the same.

As for whether or not God is calling you to be permanently single? Probably not, since the desire for a husband is strong within you. God made us for marriage...it was the first thing in creation that was deemed as "not good"...that man be alone, so here we are.

It's a hard road to walk, believe me I know...but the best thing you can do with your single status is to just grow in the Lord, renew your walk with Him and pray that He will grant the desire of your heart.

I can testify that now...after being married for 13 years...I am very glad I did have those "single" years to draw upon in my marriage. They turned out to be years of bringing growth and abilities to me that I now used daily.

Stay encouraged! God hasn't forgotten you any more than He "forgot" Hannah in her barren years!

 

[theLords]

Hmmm.. thanks for bringing up soul ties. I have not thought about this at all.. or ever before, really. Based on the way I feel, I would have to say that it is true. I mean, I am sad and aching over this man who is CLEARLY no good for me. It is totally irrational for me to want someone back who is obviously undateable and has hurt me. The only explanation for this would be a "soul tie" because no one in their right, logically thinking mind would say "i want to go back to someone
who is probably going to hurt me again". It might explain why people repeatedly go back to toxic relationships.

anyway I have been reading and researching on this topic now since you said that and it seems like it makes sense. But it also doesnt explain why this doesnt always go both ways. If our souls are tied now, he should also be in emotional torment (not that he isnt, I have no idea what he is feeling. But im saying after a year and half of sleeping together... he APPEARS to be doing much better than me). Unless he has already prayed and repented and I dont know about it (quite possible). The point is: there are many one sided relationships out there where one person is more in love with the other.. this is not consistant with the soul tie explanation. What about that? Now I am curious..

I am not sure how i feel about this person but it is irrelevant.. because the only thing that matters is that the relationship is damaging and i cant return to it. Feelings are not indicators of truth.. and I know that what I "feel" right now is besides the point and i should not allow emotions to lead me back into a dangerous situation. (doing that is not biblical, anyway, as emotions are deceptive). I know that "IF" i am to be with this man, God has work to do and THEN he may or may not open the door for that in a healthy way. Who knows?
For now, it doesnt matter...

the only directions I have received from God are to 1) work on my friendships with the women in my group 2) pray consistantly that I may come to forgive this man for hurting me 3) totally refrain from dating or spending time one on one with any man until further notice...

I am clear on these three things.. as for the rest, I dont know..

I am 33 years old and tired of struggling with dating.. sometimes I feel so abandoned by God in this area. Which (if i were to be totally honest) is part of the reason i did this in the first place.

But I want to hear more thoughts and opinions on this soul ties idea??? What does everyone think?

Hey DBS,

Handy up there, is a Bible berean(!), deeply rooted in the love of Christ. I respect her position against soul ties greatly, although the position that they are New Age-y does make me cringe, lol. I wish I could find my study notes on soul ties so I could show them to you, but I can't. After "working" (apprenticing) within Christian "counseling" (prayer ministry) I believe in soul ties because I have seen so many people be set free by breaking them in Christ's name. The healing I've seen that has occurred through that simple prayer is astonishing. But, please, go where the Lord leads you, and only do what He convicts you to do.

As far as this question, "But it also doesnt explain why this doesnt always go both ways. If our souls are tied now, he should also be in emotional torment (not that he isnt, I have no idea what he is feeling." This shows me you are not quite understanding the meaning of soul tie. I've seen you say this a couple of times before, my advice, dear sister please let this idea go! Simply because he's not reacting the way you are does not mean that the Lord will not call him to repent or that he won't feel sorrow over the situation. But you have to be okay with the fact that he could wear a happy face for the rest of his life, and never feel an ounce of pain over what has occurred. Take your focus off of him and what's going on with him, and place your focus on yourself and your relationship with Christ.

 

[Alabaster]

I really like the teaching here on soul ties:

Soul ties


Here are the notes:

http://www.christian-restoration.com/soul%20ties.htm

 

[Pizzaguy]

Anyway, when this has happened where a couple has crossed the line morally, they are both disciplined. Why is this man not being disciplined? Part of the discipline would be for him to repent and then be set apart from the church and/or his cell group for specific length of time, and advised to spend time with God, and check in with his leader/mentor regularly. That should have happened with you. Instead, you have been kind of cut off and he is not experiencing any fallout. This is not right.

Post of the day.

 

[DeepBlueSea]

So I find out today my job is ending in four months.. The first person I wanted to call was this guy. I really just wanted to talk to him- way stupid, I know. I couldnt get him on the phone or he didnt answer or whatever the case was.. I dont know.- I tried to call three times and nothing. Now everything just seems way worse than it did yesterday. What in the WORLD is God doing shaking up my life like this?? I cant sleep.

 

[Alabaster]

So I find out today my job is ending in four months.. The first person I wanted to call was this guy. I really just wanted to talk to him- way stupid, I know. I couldnt get him on the phone or he didnt answer or whatever the case was.. I dont know.- I tried to call three times and nothing. Now everything just seems way worse than it did yesterday. What in the WORLD is God doing shaking up my life like this?? I cant sleep.

When we suffer shake-ups like this, and still trust God through it, we end up in a far better place. He is taking you through the fire. You will one day soon look back and see that you have moved from where you were, and that you have grown.

Isaiah 43:2-3a NLT
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.


I will pray for you!

 

[JohnEboy1983]

So I find out today my job is ending in four months.. The first person I wanted to call was this guy. I really just wanted to talk to him- way stupid, I know. I couldnt get him on the phone or he didnt answer or whatever the case was.. I dont know.- I tried to call three times and nothing. Now everything just seems way worse than it did yesterday. What in the WORLD is God doing shaking up my life like this?? I cant sleep.

Im so sorry to hear Deepbluesea. I know it must be rough and not only have you been dealing with alot from thinking about this guy, but now you have a job loss to deal with which is all the more making you want to call him. I do believe Satan has his role in this though, trying to bring you to desperate measures to try to reconcile so that you can also live with this guy again because the pressures of job loss. Just continually pray that God will protect you and not allow you to end up back where you were. If you truly mean it I believe God will shield you and work his will out in your life even when everything seems to be falling apart. Remember that God will break us down and make everything new. God has allowed me to go after some bad desires I have had before but only let me go so far....praise him for that because I almost married the wrong person before and almost got involved with a girl that would only cause heartbreak. Just remember what you came out of and what you posted about it not being worth it. Its much harder said than done so i can only encourage you and hope you realize that when I post these things I do know the difficulty between saying and doing. A scripture that comes to mind that is on one of my t-shirts is from phillipians 4:13. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Remember that we do not have the strenth on our own but through Christ who empowers us. I pray Gods will be done in your life and that you find another job soon.

 

[Sparkey]

Greetings, My heart too was touched by your faithful confession.

My mom died when I was 40 years old. It took me a full ten years before I could shed a single tear. That wasn't because I didn't love her but because of the fear that I had, that if the floodgates were opened the emotional loss that I felt would overwhelm me and I would be lost. To me, it was critical that I be allowed time to come to terms with my fear before I could expesss myself. To someone on the outside it could very easily appear that I was cold hearted but that was anything but the case. I love my mom more than I can say and even speaking like this to you now brings tears.

Today, I still struggle with the sexual sin of my youth. The battle between me and that which desires my harm will continue throughout my life. If you were to meet me on the college campus where I attend, would you be able to see the consequense that I face daily? No. Not unless I showed it to you. Your lover will face consequense. He may not show it but he will face it. BUT and here's the key, he is not your lover and never was. He's your brother. Trust that our Shepherd will seek him out and pierce his heart with the arrow of compassion and love, that God will chase him down and overcome his sin for him personally. There is no other way. If your heart condemns you? God is greater (than your heart) and knows all things. I say this by way of putting you in memory of those things you already know.

Consider the true sayings:
"He is faithful."
"He is just."
​

He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to purge us from all unrighteousness. He is the God of our Heart and is jealous of each. He will accomplish all that you desire in the deep places and innermost parts and it will be your joy to know that He delights over you. I pray thee, continue to guard yourself against bitterness as you look to Him to provide your needs while He, your GOD, enthrones Himself upon your heart.

You already know these things. You are being courted by the most lovely one of all. Behold your God.

 

[Jacy]

DeepBlueSea,
I see myself in you. Four years ago as I made my way into church and into someone's heart, I foolishly crossed the line with him for two years.
When we both stopped, he acted the same way. Distant, cold, bitter...however, emotions are a tricky thing and God works inside of each of us differently. Not because God is different, we know He stays the same, but we are all wired different. I was an emotional wreck while he bottled everything up...

Be diligent and concentrate on your relationship with Jesus above all else. It is easier said than done, but I know it is possible...I am a walking testimony of that. What helped me tremendously was reading the Word every day and keeping a God journal...I wrote down everything!! How I felt, my questions for God, my questions for the guy, pretty much whatever that was boiling, I let it spill to the pages...
I experienced true repentance...and by God's will, so did he and we eventually married. Only after deep talks, prayer and guidance from authority. But in my mind, before that even happened, I made the decision and proclaimed to God that no matter what happened, whether single of married, He will always come first.
I recited "It is just you and me, now God. Just you and me."

I am so proud of you for coming forth and being faithful to Him! This is only the beginning of something beautiful and that is a deeper relationship with Christ
Right now, I am writing about my experiences and what God has given me in a book called "The Palace Keepers." It is about emotional purity and how we need to be the guard of our hearts...not only our bodies...
I believe that you will be a tool to help young people with their own purity issues. Right now you are in the cleansing process...don't rush it, let God have His perfect work in your heart...feel free to PM me anytime sweetheart...

And one more thing...what you went through was not worth it but you are worth more than rubies ;)

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Prov 31:10 ​

 

[Jarred]

Ive been in a similar situation. I was in a relationship with a Christian girl. We were close..very close. Our relationship was deep and it was something like "soul mates" or something. We were falling in love with each other and even talked about getting married at some point. But we weren't married and we crossed the line if you know what I mean. We both knew better but we deliberately disobeyed God. Well the Lord ended that relationship. At first I was resentful toward God for "taking her away from me." But now I think he did us both a favor. He stopped us from continuing in our lust. This might sound odd coming from a guy but your right. It is NOT worth it. When you wait until your married your marriage is pure and blessed. Thats the kind of relationship I want. A relationship that honors God instead of disappointing him.

 

[God&DogGirl]

It's frustrating when you're the kind of person that does not attract guys, for whatever reason, but I completely agree. It's not worth it.

I haven't made that mistake but I know people who have. This just strengthened my resolve to wait.

 

[JohnEboy1983]

deepbluesea,

Any update? Did you find a job yet? Are feeling any better? Any praise reports?

 

[DeepBlueSea]

hello yes, I have some updates.. thanks so much for asking and for all of the encouraging words! I really like how a previous post mentioned "emotional purity"... i have not thought about it in those terms until now. And it is such a good thought because we cannot wholly and passionatly serve God if we are allowing ourselves to become emotionally damaged through ungodly choices.

UPDATE- remember when I mentioned that I opened up and confessed what happened to the girls in the group? Well, some of the girls repeated what I said.. and it went around to everyone. At first, I was really mad about that and thought about trying to figure out "who" said it.. but then, through prayer, I decided it was best to just let it go. I could allow myself to give into emotions of feeling betrayed but it is not worth it. It is always a possibility that people will gossip and I knew that when I chose to open up to them. At the time I spoke with the girls, I felt it was the right thing to do and I still believe it was the right thing to do.. therefore, it is in Gods hands now. The guy and I are at least on cordial, talking terms when we see each other in the group- but that is it. I am mostly OK with that.

God is shaking my life up in many ways, that is for sure. Another part of this whole story that I have not yet mentioned is that I have felt for some time now (literally for years) that I am called to the mission field. That being said, I felt led to put in an application for a missions program through a local university. I am still waiting to hear back from them. I also have a job interview this week for a position in Christian teaching. I have also been asked to partner with an international non profit humanitarian organization- I have been asked to specifically help with the restructuring of the organization to turn it into one with whose mission is to spread the gospel. The current owner of the organization is not (yet) saved but is very clearly headed that way.. the organization is not at this time one whose focus is on God but does do humanitarian work. I have been praying about this asking Gods direction and guidance.. all for His Glory.

All of that being said, I have this feeling that God is in the process of restructuring my life to be one of service and missions. I am coming to a point now where I am willing to say that I will happily lay down all my own plans for my life walk in the plan God has for me. I have no idea why this is such a struggle because it is becoming clearer every day that whatever God has for me is MUCH better than what I had wanted for myself. I am not completely there yet, but I am struggling to reach a point where I am willing to "count it all as lose" (as the scripture says? is that right?) and go exactly where God wants me. I keep meditating and thinking on the verses that talk about how we are to pick up our crosses, abandon ourselves, and walk as Jesus did. I am reaching a point of total, passionate, whole hearted surrender.

I feel God has stripped me of my job, my relationship, and other things for the purpose of redirecting me. One other thing.. after all of that other stuff I mentioned, I then got into a car accident! I am OK but it was still kind of painful. Thats when I sat back and really thought "God is trying to get my attention!!"

I am not feeling so lost anymore, but still wondering where this journey is going to take me. I have my house on the market for sale and I am waiting on God to direct me on that.

So I guess.. the questions now are this: has anyone ever been through anything similar before? Has anyone ever had their life completely shaken up all at one time and what happened? Does God do things like this? And.. how do you know if you are being called into the mission field? I have been telling God for years now that I am unsatisfied in my job... maybe he is moving me?

Thoughts?

 

[God&DogGirl]

Has my life been shaken up? Absolutely. Since graduating from high school in 2009, life got turned upside down for me. First I was mistreated at the Christian camp that saved my faith a few years previously (talk about confusing). Then college... dang I could go into entire essays about how Liberty University is a fake Christian college full of closed minded zealots who turn non Christians and Christians alike OFF to Christianity. By the time I left that, I was all but an atheist. I lost 2 jobs in 4 months, one having lasted only 8 days. I spent 4 days in the psych ward at a mental hospital because I almost committed suicide. And that ends the year 2010, I'm not even going to get into 2011.

God's speaking to you. Listen.

 

[hisbeloved]

The whole story: two years ago, God led me to an amazing church. We are an international mega church of about 7000 members at our location alone. It has an amazing singles department. I have been blessed beyond belief with these friends as I have grown tremendously in the Lord; these people and my church have come to mean a lot to me. The thought of losing it is devastating to me.. which is weird because three years ago I had zero interest in going to church.

I am currently learning a VERY HARD lesson on how deliberate and sustained sin can literally spill over and infect every aspect of your life; no matter how much you convince yourself you can keep "that part" separate. Long story short, there is a guy in my circle of friends who I have been sleeping with for a year and a half now. We both kept this to ourselves, and even had several conversations about how we needed to stop it and how we KNEW without a doubt that we were wrong. However, we kept it up anyway, consitantly for a year and a half. I was secretly spending the night at his house about 3 to 4 times a week.. so it was pretty serious.

Because of this, the last 8 weeks have led me into a series of events and I am now on a serious emotional downward spiral.

The first thing that happened, was me and this guy started arguing about things which led to a MAJOR arguement in front of everyone; the things that were said made it obvious what had been going on. (he threw his house key at me and told me to get my crap out of his house). In the following weeks, I tried to talk to him and resolve things but he was cold and refused to talk to me- which was like a knife in my heart. Then things got really tense between us because he was ignoring me and I was growing in resentment. This has spread throughout the group. It has gotten to the point where I was deliberately left off an invite list three weeks ago because a choice had to be made between him or I, as the person having the party did not want to be around us both together (because of the tension and the digs back and forth we were making, etc.. basically behaving really badly).

This is literally killing me. Not only has my resentment towards this guy grown into full blown unresolved anger even bordering on hatred.. i feel horribly disconnected from the rest of my christian friends. I understand why I was not invited to that party three weeks ago but it cut me so deep when I found out about it. I have since gone to two or three of the girls in the group who I feel close to and told them the whole truth and asked for their prayers, support, and advice. They were understanding but told me that the bitterness between him and I was becoming a problem.. and they are absolutely right.

I have been spending alot of time at home alone since, going through a range of emotions. I know God uses people and circumstances to grow us in our faith, hes puts us through the "refining fires" as they say.... and I believe this is one of those times for me. I am praying so hard for God to show up and intervene as I feel so alone as a result of all this. I still have not resolved anything with that guy, and that alone has been consuming me.. the anger and frusteratation I feel towards him has been keeping me away from the group by my own choosing as well. That emotion is also mixed with typical "break up" emotions such as missing him, etc.

I truly feel God is digging down deep in my heart in order to heal me in other ways and make me stronger. But in the meantime, THIS HURTS. I cant seem to shake this isolated, disconnected feeling. And to add to it, I see the guy involved carrying on, having fun with the group as though none of it ever happened.. and as though I dont even exist. He appears to be totally unaffected!! Where is God in THAT? HOW IS THAT FAIR??

In retrospect, none of this was worth it and I actually got off pretty easy considering what the consequences could have been. But I am hurting so bad.. and I know to pray, trust God, and know He has a plan for this but.. in the meantime, my heart is aching so bad sometimes I cant take it.

Now I KNOW why we are not supposed to do this.. IT WAS JUST NOT WORTH IT! I want to feel connected to those friends again and I want this fear of being left out and rejected forever to stop... and I want this pain over the lose of the relationship to be healed. It was not worth it.. I care about this guy alot but I know God stripped it from us for obvious reasons.

Anyone been here before? What do you think? ANY thoughts would be awesome..as I cant sleep tonight..

I too can relate to your feelings of abandonment,shame,isolation and separation.
But I always notice that when God allows this in my life,he is using it to draw me to him, because sometimes he has to remove every other person and support system we have just to get us to turn back to him with our whole hearts.

If this place that your in is due to your falling into sin, there is hope in that too, after all the chastisment of Lord is his way of saying,"You are still my daughter."

Remember your not alone,many of us have been where you are,
Your not alone Jesus is near.

remind yourself with this song...YouTube - Meredith Andrews You're Not Alone (acoustical version)

 

[JohnEboy1983]

Wow deepbluesea, thanks for getting back to us. I do believe that God can tear our lives apart to reshape and redirect us. Well as far as going where we are called I am still trying to figure that one out myself. You mentioned you have your house for sale on the market and that you were very unhappy with your job for a long time. I too feel as if I am in the same situation. I dont find any fulfillment in being a truck driver and my schedule.....I dont have one. I am on call 7 days a week and cant hardly ever make plans. I too have a house and I am just about 28 years old now. Sometimes I feel this big mortgage and my job is stripping me of everything and I too feel stuck. If it were Gods will that I go somewhere else I pray he will redirect me also because I am so fearful to take a step out of my comfort zone especially when I dont know where to go or what else to do. I have always had a big desire to be married so whether or not that is Gods plan for my life I dont know, but maybe he actually has something else for me. A lot of people I talk to, other christians say that God has some amazing things for me and whether they are just encouraging or prophesying, I hope these things come to pass because I dont see it right now. Well please dont forget this thread and be sure to keep us updated on where God moves you and what he brings in your life.

 

[DeepBlueSea]

Thanks guys.. I will not forget this thread, Ninja In fact, I may have to come back to it to read my own writing when I am tempted by this guy again.. I have a feeling its going to come back around again.. based on some of his recent behaviors toward me. I have to be ready and remember the consequences of my actions and never go back to it again. I think I might have to come back and read my own words and remember how I felt.

I think once we have truly repented and turned from a sin, situations attempt to draw us back in... isnt that the way the devil works?