Christ_empowered
Member
I was talking to myself downstairs...not yelling, just a little chit chatter w/ mahself that got out of hand...my dad came downstairs and...reassured me. Things were rough, now, by God's grace...they're not, not really.
I mean, I may be stuck in the "mental patient" role, indefinitely. Sometimes, that's terrible. Stuff can happen in mental hospitals that they don;'t even allow in prisons, especially long term, state hospitals. But...
for me, I live comfortably, simply, quietly. Maybe one day I"ll be able to get a job (?), maybe not. I don't know, honestly. My parents are now "well-to-do," for this area. Not rich, they're frugal, so its not like I'm living posh and ridiculous, but...their status helps give me some much needed -space- in which to change, grow, "Recover," etc.
Now...I'm thankful for my dad's kindness. I"m thankful for mama's goodness, too. And its one of those things...
as much as I despise some parts of Mental Health, Inc. and as much as I doubt most of it, I'm beginning to think/suspect...
maybe being labeled as "severely mentally ill" is one of the few ways, in 21st century culture, to get a little space, a little compassion, a bit of mercy? My official label is "Bipolar I," which...OK. "Bipolar I w/psychosis" vs "Schizophrenia w/ mood disorder;" what's the difference? I don't think there is one, not really.
But, seriously; -with- my...affliction...I get disability (really, my dad gets disability and doles it out to me), health coverage, SPACE...oh man, I can't tell you about the pressure and oppression that defined so much of my life....and thing is..."welcome to the real world!" Seriously. Not that its OK, cuz its not, just...well...the world is cold, uncaring, unforgiving, high pressure, etc. Seems to (somehow..) be getting worse, not better.
But, yeah; its OK now. My parents, disability, some classes, good health, sufficient intelligence....forgiveness, Jesus, "washed and made clean." (no particular order)
I am increasingly thankful. Really. No one's life is perfect, here on earth, least of all (it seems...) the Christians. What was it CS Lewis said..."pain is God's mega-phone" ? Something like that. I've been spared: real poverty, prison, state hospital, a death of cancer and/or AIDS, a life with obvious brain damage, even a frustrating dead-end job. And now...
Schizophrenia? Bipolar I? I don't know. It'll be OK...really, it already is OK, thanks to Christ.
I mean, I may be stuck in the "mental patient" role, indefinitely. Sometimes, that's terrible. Stuff can happen in mental hospitals that they don;'t even allow in prisons, especially long term, state hospitals. But...
for me, I live comfortably, simply, quietly. Maybe one day I"ll be able to get a job (?), maybe not. I don't know, honestly. My parents are now "well-to-do," for this area. Not rich, they're frugal, so its not like I'm living posh and ridiculous, but...their status helps give me some much needed -space- in which to change, grow, "Recover," etc.
Now...I'm thankful for my dad's kindness. I"m thankful for mama's goodness, too. And its one of those things...
as much as I despise some parts of Mental Health, Inc. and as much as I doubt most of it, I'm beginning to think/suspect...
maybe being labeled as "severely mentally ill" is one of the few ways, in 21st century culture, to get a little space, a little compassion, a bit of mercy? My official label is "Bipolar I," which...OK. "Bipolar I w/psychosis" vs "Schizophrenia w/ mood disorder;" what's the difference? I don't think there is one, not really.
But, seriously; -with- my...affliction...I get disability (really, my dad gets disability and doles it out to me), health coverage, SPACE...oh man, I can't tell you about the pressure and oppression that defined so much of my life....and thing is..."welcome to the real world!" Seriously. Not that its OK, cuz its not, just...well...the world is cold, uncaring, unforgiving, high pressure, etc. Seems to (somehow..) be getting worse, not better.
But, yeah; its OK now. My parents, disability, some classes, good health, sufficient intelligence....forgiveness, Jesus, "washed and made clean." (no particular order)
I am increasingly thankful. Really. No one's life is perfect, here on earth, least of all (it seems...) the Christians. What was it CS Lewis said..."pain is God's mega-phone" ? Something like that. I've been spared: real poverty, prison, state hospital, a death of cancer and/or AIDS, a life with obvious brain damage, even a frustrating dead-end job. And now...
Schizophrenia? Bipolar I? I don't know. It'll be OK...really, it already is OK, thanks to Christ.