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seekinghim

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I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
 
seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
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To begin with from the begining of your post, I found that, by your honesty, you are very brave. and it takes that to become a new creature to start all over again with him. I Peter 5:7 and staying with that kind of patience, to make sure you get the wright steps with Christ leading you to Knock on the door again.
Matthew 6: 1-34.
http://1stthingsfirst.ieasysite.com
 
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seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
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jesus said
Matthew 11
Jesus Gives True Rest
25 At that time Jesus answered and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes. 26 Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in Your sight. 27 All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. 28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Jesus has never left you and is lost if you really want him he is just a quick prayer away. what your experiencing is spiritual warfare Ephesians 6
The Whole Armor of God
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

its also called the message of satan sent to buffet you.the battering rams of hell saying GIVE IT UP ITS NO USE.. i been there done that many times. open the door of your heart up and allow him to come in.:amen:readbible
 
I became born-again a few years ago. I have never felt so bad in all my life. But I wouldn't even consider being without JC.

Someone once asked a Zen master what it was like to become enlightened. He replied, "More miserable than ever".
 
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seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.
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You've identified the problem, now let's see what the scriptures have to say regarding it. Pay close attention to verse 31 and how that verse is ended.


Mark 12....(NKJV)
28 Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, “Which is the first commandment of all?”

29 Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.

31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”


Loving your neighbor as yourself is simply treating people the way you want to be treated. Acknowledging the God of Israel as the One true God and treating people the way you want to be treated is the backbone of the Gospel. No other commandment given by God trumps these 2 commandments.

This how Paul explains it.

Romans 13....(NKJV)
8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.



It's really that simple. All it takes to start building a relationship with Christ is obeying those 2 commandments. Misery is not our reward for obedience.

When I become spiritually miserable, it's not because God has left the building, it's because my focus is diverted from where it should be. God will never leave nor forsake anyone. When we feel our relationship with the Lord waning, it's because we've strayed from the path.


Something to think about.

.
 
seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
Click to expand...


Just a question or two......how much time do you spend focusing on the Lord and the Word of God? How much of the Word do you implement in your life? How are you building up your faith?

The way to break this cycle is to totally surrender everything to God, and then to make a decision that no matter what is going on you are only going to be a doer of the Word. You have to practice, practice, practice. And not get mad at yourself when you fall down. Just pick yourself back up, repent (which means to turn from) of that sin and receive God's forgiveness, and cleansing you from your unrighteousness. Then you have to forgive yourself!

Sometimes forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do, because we tend to think that we have not paid enough or suffered enough. Truth is that Jesus did the suffering for us, we just have to receive His grace. God's grace means His overwhelming desire to treat you and me as if sin never happened. You my friend have to learn to walk in God's grace!
Blessings and peace unto you! I'll be praying for you!
If you have time, read Right Believing by Joseph Prince or Unmerrited favor by the same author. I have the unmerrited one on pdf if you would like a copy. Another suggestion is to submerse yourself in the Word, and godly teaching. Kcm.org is a good place.
 
seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
Click to expand...

Seeking Him Hello,
Ohhh how I have been there before. It gets to the place where you cant stand being around you and how do you get away from you ? Yea been there......

I can give you a bunch of reasons and a bunch of scriptures saying this or that and dont get me wrong, scriptures are they key, however some times you simply just need someone to say some things that hit home and I hope I can do this now.

First off Jesus is still there for He will not ever leave you.
To be totally honest from my own experiences I can say that you simply are being haunted or bothered or attacked by our enemy the devil. It's our mind where he leashes his biggest attacks ( the battle of the mind ). There is purpose in that and it is for the devils purpose.

The type of things that are going on is pressure is being applied unto you. The purpose is to get your thinking off of God and anything good and consumed with torment. Another words to get you to the place where everything seems wrong and makes you angry, mad, sad and consumed with hate. This hate can be directed to you and others and ESPECIALLY God. Be careful in this state of mind for the devil is very good at what he does and he camouflages sin and wrong thoughts as better things as to draw you farther down to a breaking point of destruction.

However remember ...Greater is He ( GOD-JESUS ) who is in me (you) - then he (devil) who is in the world.
Remember that the Joy of the Lord is our strength.....More then you know !!
I know if I simply say begin to praise the Lord, you may have some things to say back to me. I get it because I have been there big time...But here is something to remember....They do NOT call it the sacrifise of praise for nothing.

What I mean is this.....You have to be determand to do it. Another words...it is truly a sacrifise or as something way too hard to do, so the devil NEEDS you to think... It can start off sounding like sarcastic sounding like yea sure i do but TRUST me here please........if you truly force your self to stick with it....slowly word by word it will begin to sound softer and sweeter not only unto the Lord but you as well. WARNING....be prepared for the devil to try anything to keep your mouth shut up. The devil wants your words and thoughts........That should open up some eyes right there. I mean why is that ? Because your words mean life or death.....Think about that.

If you truly do this you will find things mealting away. Repent of your anger or what ever...( you know ) ask God to forgive you and to cleanse you of all unrighteousness........Forgive any one you have a grudge against or are angry with NO MATTER who's fault it was........Now see this.....RECEIVE YOUR FORGIVNESS AND CLEANSING OF ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS.... Simply say by faith I receive my forgivness and cleansing of all un righteousness. Then KNOW they are no more.....No matter how many times the devil tries to get you thinking about them...They are gone, gone, gone.

Keep praising God until your heart begins to flood with Joy and tears may come and so forth.

OBTW the sacrifice of praise can sound like a dying duck BUT it just has to be done.
Then get back into renewing your mind in His word. Praying His word over you. Listen.........you will get on the other side of this........Just do NOT let the enemy keep you away any longer......

If you want to talk PM me..We can go from there.....I wont lie to you....it may seem like the hardest thing you have ever done, but that wont last long.....Be at peace and know you are being prayed for
Jim
 
Dear seekinghim
Please listen to what I am saying here, as it may keep you from a lot of pain:
Your family are the people who love you the most. You need their support.
I traded my family for my friends..THE stupidest thing I have ever done. We are reconciled now, and my parents forgave me for my past, and all is well.
Don't rely on your feelings. They are fickle. Don't walk away from Christ's salvation. Life is hard for everyone... A good friend told me that your walk with God is a journey and a progress. You learn what is right and then you practice and practice until you reach a revelation of what it truly means, and it will change you.
I'll pray for you.
 
seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
Click to expand...

You can not find him because you do not know where to look. He is not in your Bible, he is within you heart. Seek him there. If I could recommend on thing to you, it would be an exercise in Faith, and you would have to believe for it to be so. As Jesus after his baptism by John went straightway into the wilderness where he fasted for forty days, this is what I would ask of you. Fast from your Bible for forty days. Do not pick it up, or read it in any way. Take the time to reflect upon the words of Jesus that you know within your heart. Meditate on them daily, only do not open your Bible. Then after the forty days have past, come back to us here and tell what you have learned upon finding Christ. It is up to you, all it takes is but a little faith.
 
Philippians 2:13
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

James 1:5
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all menliberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

I Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Hang in there. Let him work inside you (to will and to do).

eddif
 
Cturtle said:
Just a question or two......how much time do you spend focusing on the Lord and the Word of God? How much of the Word do you implement in your life? How are you building up your faith?

The way to break this cycle is to totally surrender everything to God, and then to make a decision that no matter what is going on you are only going to be a doer of the Word. You have to practice, practice, practice. And not get mad at yourself when you fall down. Just pick yourself back up, repent (which means to turn from) of that sin and receive God's forgiveness, and cleansing you from your unrighteousness. Then you have to forgive yourself!
If you have time, read Right Believing by Joseph Prince or Unmerrited favor by the same author. I have the unmerrited one on pdf if you would like a copy. Another suggestion is to submerse yourself in the Word, and godly teaching. Kcm.org is a good place.
Click to expand...

You said it! That is what I needed. I was becoming slack but also what I've noticed is that I do go in phases. I believe the key is to keep going even when I don't feel like it. Thank you! I have read one book by Joseph Prince and I LOVED it, so I'm definitely going to give those a try.

KevinK said:
I became born-again a few years ago. I have never felt so bad in all my life. But I wouldn't even consider being without JC.

Someone once asked a Zen master what it was like to become enlightened. He replied, "More miserable than ever".
Click to expand...
Thank you for saying this. I don't ever want to be without Him either.

Thank you everyone for praying for me. I pushed through!
 
seekinghim said:
You said it! That is what I needed. I was becoming slack but also what I've noticed is that I do go in phases. I believe the key is to keep going even when I don't feel like it. Thank you! I have read one book by Joseph Prince and I LOVED it, so I'm definitely going to give those a !
Click to expand...

you are so right! In Consistency lies the keys to staying above water so to speak. The hard part that sometimes gets me is that faith is not a feeling. It's more of an action. And as you said keep moving forward even when we do not feel like it. Another key is even though your mind has all these thoughts..only speak what the Word of God says. Don't let doubt or unbelief, or anything that is not going to build you or others out of your mouth.

oh my goodness God is soooo good! And i am very proud of you for pushing through! Your always in my prayers!
 
You just need a fresh dose of fruit: JOY! He is in there, try laughing in the Lord. Watch a little Jesse Duplantis, he's hilarious, and will energize your faith. And like Kenneth and Gloria Copeland often point out, along with others, consistency; reading/hearing/speaking the Word in faith daily is the key. I read the KCM Faith to Faith devotional every day to start things off typically. Watch the KCM daily broadcasts. Read the Word. Fellowship with Him. We just weren't made to go Sunday to Sunday without feeding our spirit man in between. We ARE a spirit, with a soul, that lives in a body.
The body eats physical food and produces physical force called strength. The mind/soul eats mental food and produces a mental force called will or willpower. The spirit eats the Word of the God and produces spiritual force called faith. See to it all 3 eat daily and often.
 
seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
Click to expand...
Hey bro/sis! Shalom=) don't worry" about the troubles of tomorrow today, let tomorrow worry about its self" (sorry not to sure about exact passage). Also I have defiantly been in odd spots within my self, it helps me even to just sit or laydown and just be with God and not worry about anything for a while. blessings!
 
He will never withhold his love from you. He loves you whether you sin or not. He loves even the most despicable person that has lived and would like that person to turn to him. For a despicable
person to come to him would please him greatly. please prey to our Father God in ALL that you do.

You will sin against and disappoint God, yourself and others. But the point is always come to Him
through his Son and He WILL do as he has promised and give you what you need.
 
seekinghim said:
I have lost Jesus's love and influence in my life. After I became a Christian less than a year ago I never thought I could be as low as I am now. I am angry, depressed, discouraged, irritated and unhappy with how I treat my loved ones and I don't know how to break the cycle. Everyday I pray for help and tell myself I will be better, and everyday I fail and I'm starting to hate myself for it.

To be honest, I'm completely apathetic toward God, my loved ones and myself right now. I feel absolutely no drive to seek God again if this is how it's going to be - I feel like He takes His love away from me and makes it impossible to find again. No matter what I do, He's gone.
Click to expand...
Sometimes the way up is down.
 
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