[ Testimony ] Jesus is my First Love

[Maedchen]

In Revelation2:4,5 Jesus speaks to the church in Ephesus.
It reads, "But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place - unless you repent."

On the day when I read these words and realized that they were written for me, I was crushed. I suddenly understood that I made a serious mistake, and I did so even though I thought that I was trying to please God.

I am not talking about the many other mistakes that I made in my life and which are surely declared as sin. The turning away from my "first love" took place when I started to study with Jehovah's Witnesses. Before I shared my whole life, every thought, every joy or sorrow with Jesus. I was talking to Him constantly, very naturally as I knew that He was always with me, listening and caring.

But due to my lack of fundamental bible knowledge, I had nothing scriptural for reasoning when it came to the Watchtower teachings. I strongly believed that those kind Witnesses were sent from God in order to make me understand and know His Word. And I gained knowledge! I began to study the bible in depth and referred the single books to one another. I really learned how to reason by using the Scripture. Only that I did not recognize that the Watchtower teachings twist God's Word! It does that in such a way that it is hard to prove it wrong.

After two years of intense study, I left my church and became a baptized Jehovah's Witness. That included that I stopped talking to my First Love, Jesus, because I was told that I could only address Jehovah.

I got much involved, left my parents and brothers who were furious about me becoming a Witness. They called the group a 'cult', and only much later I found out that they were right. It is a cult!

To cut it short, as long as I did not use any form of modern media (TV, radio, Internet, etc.) I did exactly what they told me to do. Then one day a dear gentleman bought an iPad as gift for me, and I started to look at the Internet. By chance (actually by God's grace) I came to specific sites of Ex-JWs who spoke about issues of the Watchtower that hit me like a hammer. I searched more information and soon realized that I had to study the bible again from the beginning. I did this all in secret, for if the elders would have known, I would have been disfellowshipped at once.

In the end I knew that I had turned away from the One who had loved me my whole life, instead of doing His will. I was asked to explain myself in front of a 'judicial committee', and after that I disassociated myself, meaning that I was shunned. The moment I left our Kingdom Hall, all my friends looked away from me, but I looked into the sky and had the notion that Jesus was smiling down to me.

I love Jesus, and He, only He freed me from the highly mind-controlling Organization, that cut me off from my Love, my family and any outside fellowship.
There are no human friends left, but that was so much compensated by my First Love, Jesus, to whom I returned. There was much to repent, and still is, but Jesus forgives everyone who comes to Him with his whole heart.

My message to you: seek Jesus and accept His wonderful love. He enables you to start a new life if you truly want to love Him!
Jesus loves you, He died for you and is waiting with open arms for YOU! Don't let a him wait too long.

Love, Rose

 

[farouk]

In Revelation2:4,5 Jesus speaks to the church in Ephesus.
It reads, "But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place - unless you repent."

On the day when I read these words and realized that they were written for me, I was crushed. I suddenly understood that I made a serious mistake, and I did so even though I thought that I was trying to please God.

I am not talking about the many other mistakes that I made in my life and which are surely declared as sin. The turning away from my "first love" took place when I started to study with Jehovah's Witnesses. Before I shared my whole life, every thought, every joy or sorrow with Jesus. I was talking to Him constantly, very naturally as I knew that He was always with me, listening and caring.

But due to my lack of fundamental bible knowledge, I had nothing scriptural for reasoning when it came to the Watchtower teachings. I strongly believed that those kind Witnesses were sent from God in order to make me understand and know His Word. And I gained knowledge! I began to study the bible in depth and referred the single books to one another. I really learned how to reason by using the Scripture. Only that I did not recognize that the Watchtower teachings twist God's Word! It does that in such a way that it is hard to prove it wrong.

After two years of intense study, I left my church and became a baptized Jehovah's Witness. That included that I stopped talking to my First Love, Jesus, because I was told that I could only address Jehovah.

I got much involved, left my parents and brothers who were furious about me becoming a Witness. They called the group a 'cult', and only much later I found out that they were right. It is a cult!

To cut it short, as long as I did not use any form of modern media (TV, radio, Internet, etc.) I did exactly what they told me to do. Then one day a dear gentleman bought an iPad as gift for me, and I started to look at the Internet. By chance (actually by God's grace) I came to specific sites of Ex-JWs who spoke about issues of the Watchtower that hit me like a hammer. I searched more information and soon realized that I had to study the bible again from the beginning. I did this all in secret, for if the elders would have known, I would have been disfellowshipped at once.

In the end I knew that I had turned away from the One who had loved me my whole life, instead of doing His will. I was asked to explain myself in front of a 'judicial committee', and after that I disassociated myself, meaning that I was shunned. The moment I left our Kingdom Hall, all my friends looked away from me, but I looked into the sky and had the notion that Jesus was smiling down to me.

I love Jesus, and He, only He freed me from the highly mind-controlling Organization, that cut me off from my Love, my family and any outside fellowship.
There are no human friends left, but that was so much compensated by my First Love, Jesus, to whom I returned. There was much to repent, and still is, but Jesus forgives everyone who comes to Him with his whole heart.

My message to you: seek Jesus and accept His wonderful love. He enables you to start a new life if you truly want to love Him!
Jesus loves you, He died for you and is waiting with open arms for YOU! Don't let a him wait too long.

Love, Rose

Rose:

This is a moving testimony. My wife and I enjoy fellowship with local, likeminded Christians up here in Canada. It's always good to seek out those who truly have had, like you say, the first love experience in coming into a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, Who died at the Cross for sinners.

1 John 1.3 speaks of 'fellowship with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ'.

Blessings.

 

[Maedchen]

Dear farouk,

thank you for your kind reply.
Once I looked over the Lake Ontario to your country. Born in Europe, living in the USA and writing to a Canadian - this is quite international!
Please tell your dear wife happy greetings from me.
Thank you for being a friend.
Rose

 

[providence]

That included that I stopped talking to my First Love, Jesus, because I was told that I could only address Jehovah.

http://www.christianforums.net/showthread.php?t=49911 "How do You Pray?"

 

[Maedchen]

That included that I stopped talking to my First Love, Jesus, because I was told that I could only address Jehovah.

http://www.christianforums.net/showthread.php?t=49911 "How do You Pray?"

Thank you, dear providence, for that link. I will look at it.
May I ask you, if your screen name refers to the providence of God? And how so? Do you think it as predestination, or is it for you another term for the loving care God gives to us?
(I m just curious.).

Love, Rose

 

[farouk]

Hi [MENTION=96634]Rose[/MENTION]: it's interesting that in Revelation 22, the chapter and book almost ends with the words: 'Even so, come Lord Jesus', addressed directly to Him.

Blessings.

 

[forgiven]

Hi again [MENTION=96634]Rose[/MENTION] !
Just a scripture that came to mind as I read through your post...... Psalm 118:6
Blessings Sis,
forgiven

 

[George Muller]

Wow, what a great testimony, and be sure to proclaim this message when and where you can. The TRUE MINISTER of Jesus Christ are those who show Gods people the relationship each individual believer has with our Beloved Christ. That each believer has the responsibiltiy to walk before God and answer to Him and not to man.

" for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" They shall not need every man teach them saying "know the Lord" for all shall know Me, from the least to the greatest.

 

[providence]

May I ask you, if your screen name refers to the providence of God? And how so? Do you think it as predestination, or is it for you another term for the loving care God gives to us?

You're the first to ask. The word "providence" in attribution to God is not even in the Bible, but its connotations are pervasive (like how the word God is technically absent in the book of Ester). Here's some passages that convey the idea "by example": Acts 17:24-28, Hebrews 1:1-3, Colossians 1:15-20, Genesis 45:8,50:20, Esther 4:14, Proverbs 16:9, Matthew 5:45, Job 1:12, 2 Chronicles 32:20-22, Isaiah 64:8, Numbers 6:24-26, John 1:1-5, and Psalms 103:11. I'm not particularly acquainted with the term, but the screen name is a token of glorify to God, giving attribution to Him in faith that his own Word, rather than mine, will not return empty (Isaiah 55:11). It is not to convey any statement about predestination (the topic of which I hesitate to take interest in since it feels like questioning God or splitting hairs, for uncertain benefit, on what may in fullness be beyond our understanding). We do know some things. God providentially knew Jeremiah and called him before he was born (Jeremiah 1:5), which like 1 Corinthians 6:19, says something about how God, not any man, is supreme over life. His contemporary Ezekiel had responsibility for his own volition (Ezekiel 3:17-19). I have heard that the word "providence" was more common in the past, and here is some evidence of that: http://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=providence.

In balance, your avatar reminds me of John 20:17, the significance of which is not clear to me, but Jesus had distanced himself before in preparation for the Holy Spirit (Matthew 16:21-23, John 16:5-16).

 

[Maedchen]

Hi [MENTION=96634]Rose[/MENTION]: it's interesting that in Revelation 22, the chapter and book almost ends with the words: 'Even so, come Lord Jesus', addressed directly to Him.

Blessings.

Dear farouk, yes, that is indeed interesting and another proof that we may directly speak to our Lord Jesus.
Thank you very much for sharing!

Love, Rose

 

[Maedchen]

Hi again [MENTION=96634]Rose[/MENTION] !
Just a scripture that came to mind as I read through your post...... Psalm 118:6
Blessings Sis,
forgiven

My dear sister, thank you very much for sharing this verse with me. Often I need to remind myself that I do not have to fear anyone, as long as our loving God is on my side.
I also like verse 8 in the same Psalm, which reads, "It is better to take refuge in The Lord than to trust in man."
If only I had applied this very verse earlier!
I read some time ago somewhere that this Psalm 118 belongs to the "Hallel", a compilation of Psalms which were very likely sung by our beloved Jesus Himself and His disciples! So the wisdom found in it must have been important in the eyes of our Lord.

Much love to you, dear sister, and thank you again for sharing.
Rose

 

[farouk]

Hi again [MENTION=96634]Rose[/MENTION] !
Just a scripture that came to mind as I read through your post...... Psalm 118:6
Blessings Sis,
forgiven

My dear sister, thank you very much for sharing this verse with me. Often I need to remind myself that I do not have to fear anyone, as long as our loving God is on my side.
I also like verse 8 in the same Psalm, which reads, "It is better to take refuge in The Lord than to trust in man."
If only I had applied this very verse earlier!
I read some time ago somewhere that this Psalm 118 belongs to the "Hallel", a compilation of Psalms which were very likely sung by our beloved Jesus Himself and His disciples! So the wisdom found in it must have been important in the eyes of our Lord.

Much love to you, dear sister, and thank you again for sharing.
Rose

Rose:

Sometimes folk wonder if this or an adjacent Psalm was sung by the disciples in Matthew 26, and Mark 14, after the institution of the Lord's Supper, before they went with the Lord Jesus to the Mount of Olives.

Blessings.

 

[Maedchen]

Wow, what a great testimony, and be sure to proclaim this message when and where you can. The TRUE MINISTER of Jesus Christ are those who show Gods people the relationship each individual believer has with our Beloved Christ. That each believer has the responsibiltiy to walk before God and answer to Him and not to man.

" for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" They shall not need every man teach them saying "know the Lord" for all shall know Me, from the least to the greatest.

Dear George, thank you so much for your great reply. Yes, you are so right that we are not to follow men, but rather God Himself.
Well, I am thankful and so much blessed by our dear Lord that He led me to the Truth, Himself!

According to your kind words, you seem to love Christ very much, and I am blessed to read that from you.
Never let anybody or anything come between you and Jesus, our Savior and dear Lord!

Love, Rose

 

[Maedchen]

Hello, dear farouk,

"Sometimes folk wonder if this or an adjacent Psalm was sung by the disciples in Matthew 26, and Mark 14, after the institution of the Lord's Supper, before they went with the Lord Jesus to the Mount of Olives."

Thank you for sharing this. Isn't it nice to imagine that the very words we read in those Psalms were spoken by our precious Lord Himself?

I wish you and your dear wife a nice Pentecost-Sunday.
Love, Rose

 

[Maedchen]

May I ask you, if your screen name refers to the providence of God? And how so? Do you think it as predestination, or is it for you another term for the loving care God gives to us?

You're the first to ask. The word "providence" in attribution to God is not even in the Bible, but its connotations are pervasive (like how the word God is technically absent in the book of Ester). Here's some passages that convey the idea "by example": Acts 17:24-28, Hebrews 1:1-3, Colossians 1:15-20, Genesis 45:8,50:20, Esther 4:14, Proverbs 16:9, Matthew 5:45, Job 1:12, 2 Chronicles 32:20-22, Isaiah 64:8, Numbers 6:24-26, John 1:1-5, and Psalms 103:11. I'm not particularly acquainted with the term, but the screen name is a token of glorify to God, giving attribution to Him in faith that his own Word, rather than mine, will not return empty (Isaiah 55:11). It is not to convey any statement about predestination (the topic of which I hesitate to take interest in since it feels like questioning God or splitting hairs, for uncertain benefit, on what may in fullness be beyond our understanding). We do know some things. God providentially knew Jeremiah and called him before he was born (Jeremiah 1:5), which like 1 Corinthians 6:19, says something about how God, not any man, is supreme over life. His contemporary Ezekiel had responsibility for his own volition (Ezekiel 3:17-19). I have heard that the word "providence" was more common in the past, and here is some evidence of that: http://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=providence.

In balance, your avatar reminds me of John 20:17, the significance of which is not clear to me, but Jesus had distanced himself before in preparation for the Holy Spirit (Matthew 16:21-23, John 16:5-16).

Dear providence,

thank you very much for your kind and informative reply.
I am glad that you understand the word 'providence' as the loving implement of God's Word and will, rather than predestination which sort of minimizes the fact that God gave us free choice to follow Him or not. We are able to decide whether we want to love our Lord out of free will, or whether we deny Him. To fulfill His will, God will always have the means to do so.
I found it interesting that the graph of your link shows an increased use of the word 'providence' during World War II, because I read that Hitler used that very word in order to claim divine support.

Regarding my avatar, I understand your refer to John20:17 where Jesus says to Mary, "Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father". - To be honest, when I first read this hint, I had to cry. That is why I only respond now so late.
You know, dear providence, when I was a little girl I always was clinging to my daddy. And I am imagining now that I could do the same with dear Jesus, which keeps me looking forward to the time to come. Yes, Jesus distanced Himself before ascending into heaven, but while on earth before His death he took a child in His arms according to Mark 9:36, and Mark 10:16 says that He took little children in his arms and blessed them. Even though I am no little child anymore, I believe that "all things are possible with God" (Mark 10:27). So do you think it is wrong to imagine Him embracing me? That woman is no photo of me, just a drawing that could represent any woman. Do you think it is selfish to think that The Lord of all Creation is holding one single person in His arms?
Please tell me if it is wrong, I would much appreciate you thoughts. Never mind that it could hurt me, I simply want not to grieve anyone, especially not my beloved Jesus. He knows how much I need Him and how much I love Him.

May God bless you,
Love, Rose

 

[George Muller]

Wow, what a great testimony, and be sure to proclaim this message when and where you can. The TRUE MINISTER of Jesus Christ are those who show Gods people the relationship each individual believer has with our Beloved Christ. That each believer has the responsibiltiy to walk before God and answer to Him and not to man.

" for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" They shall not need every man teach them saying "know the Lord" for all shall know Me, from the least to the greatest.

Dear George, thank you so much for your great reply. Yes, you are so right that we are not to follow men, but rather God Himself.
Well, I am thankful and so much blessed by our dear Lord that He led me to the Truth, Himself!

According to your kind words, you seem to love Christ very much, and I am blessed to read that from you.
Never let anybody or anything come between you and Jesus, our Savior and dear Lord!

Love, Rose

Thanks Rose blessing upon you and this great ministry God has given unto you. For all the darkness of our lives are brought to Him and He transforms that darkness into light, and that which was darkness becomes a testimony of how great His light is.

 

[providence]

I understand your refer to John 20:17

Rose, I was concerned I had written that too abruptly, the intent being a question on a verse I didn't really understand which just first came to my contrairian mind and also follows the theme of your thread on JW barriers. Here's what I can assemble that might help some to sort out your concerns. In the same chapter, Thomas touched Jesus before he returned to the Father (John 20:27). Looking up this apparent contradiction.. http://www.gotquestions.org/touch-Mary-Thomas.html (and if one must, here's their other opinion: http://www.gotquestions.org/pictures-of-Jesus.html) . Compare also to (John 12:3, Matthew 26:7, Mark 14:3, Luke 7:37), or 2 Samuel 6:20-23, where the balance is against the accusers of the worship offered in faith, and Luke 8:45,48, and observe how vastly far this is from Exodus 19:12, and then there's Matthew 27:51. I was reading Romans today, and what comes to mind is Romans 9:32,12:1-2,Psalm 51:17 (true worship) and Romans 14:3-5,13 (my avoiding debatable things).

Psalm 118 belongs to the "Hallel",

So that's where hallelujah comes from...

I found it interesting that the graph of your link shows an increased use of the word 'providence' during World War II, because I read that Hitler used that very word in order to claim divine support.

A search on "Hitler quotes" (and I feel a little guilty doing that ) does provide examples, while a similar tiny bump is lacking in WWI. I have heard that some of his early escapes at death contributed to that type of mindset, and Churchill and de Gaulle also had escapes of death that influenced them (Churchill: "I shall believe I am to be preserved for future things"). Alexander the Great is said to have had some "Destiny" complex. Then there's Providence being a term in use in early America. Not being much more read in history, it's difficult for me to know how much weight to give all this.

 

[Maedchen]

Dear providence,
thank you for your elaborated explanation. And thank you especially for telling me that you are just trying to solve seemingly obvious contradictions in the bible. That makes me feel better to keep my picture of Jesus holding me, as I understand that it does not offend you.

I looked up every Scripture reference and link you provided. Indeed difficult passages!
The "got question?"- websites are absolutely worthwhile to look up if understanding problems occur. In my research regarding Watchtower teachings versus Christian views I often used them to get answers.
Especially the Mary -Thomas comparison is excellent in my opinion. Thank you for sharing!

Still there will always occur some questions that cannot be answered sufficiently. In those cases I personally just trust God and His Word, and hope that someday I'll find the true meaning of it.

Regarding 'walking by faith, not by sight', that is of course expected of us. And I certainly don't try to minimize our dear Lord to a drawn picture, as the second web link states. But for me looking to a picture of Jesus just means to be reminded of his presence and love and care and beauty and everything that comes to my mind regarding Him. And those things I know of Him by faith, not by sight. Hopefully someday by sight, and then I might do the very same thing like Mary; I would try to not let him go and cling to Him!

Love, Rose