lost

[tryingtofollow]

We have been married for almost 8 years, and together for almost ten. I had a child prior to us meeting. We have had two since then. My problem is,he doesn't believe in God. Plus he has been to jail for domestic violence 8 times. The verbal abuse was in the beginning but I thought he would stop when he deemed me worthy.he has had a number of health issues. Heart attack, seizures weekly due to uncontrolled diabetes, blind,amputated, and a few times in surgery for broken hands because he hit me.once was door but the other times it was my face. I am by no means a perfect Christian, I try to do as God wants me to, yet I am tired. Since his blindness in 07 he has gotten worse. He calls my children horrid names.says things like stop crying or I will break my back. Am I allowed to divorce him? I went to marriage counselling alone for three years. I literally quit eating to support the counseling. I am unable to work because the state says he needs a caregiver, and he refuses to watch our children. I am stuck. I am hungry, tired...sad. I don't love him anymore...is that a sin? When he touches me I cry....he says I have to do wifely duties or I am neglecting him. It feels like I am being . I can't take it. Am I allowed to leave?

 

[Matthew G]

Physical and verbal abuse of spouse? Check.

Verbal abuse of children? Check.

Unbeliever? Check.

Refusal to submit to counseling? Check.

Unfortunately, yes, I would say you are allowed to divorce. And even more unfortunate is that, in this particular case, I sense it would be better that way.

For those of you who just felt their heart skip a beat at me saying that - my sincerest apologies.

This is a sad situation. I commend you for doing all you can to make it work, but unfortunately marriage is a two-way street. Sometimes, yes, one spouse has to carry the whole load by themselves (I've been there myself, and it certainly seems like you have), but it takes both spouses working at it to make any sort of improvement in a marriage.

Two questions: 1.) You say he doesn't believe in God, but didn't go into any details. Have you asked him why he feels this way? Assuming you are currently a member of a church, have you asked him to come with you? What did he say?

2.) You said you went to marriage counseling alone for 3 years. What was his response? What was his reason for not going?

We are told very clearly that we should not marry someone who doesn't believe in Christ.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" - 2 Corinthians 6:14

Essentially, light and darkness cannot dwell in the same temple. When married, you become one flesh (read: the same temple), and if one of you is light (saved) and the other is darkness (unsaved), then the simple yet sad truth is one of those has to go because they cannot co-exist. "Want to" has nothing to do with it. It's not possible.

That's why we're also told if the unbelieving spouse wishes to leave, to let them be on their way. Paul said, "A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases:" (1 Corinthians 7:15)

This man has already proven to be a danger you to and your children. You need to get out immediately. My heart breaks for you, but this situation isn't just wrong - it's dangerous.

You and your family have been added to my prayers.