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Marriage is hard.

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Fern76

Member
HI
I am struggling In my marriage. My husband won't work. We have been married two years and he has had three jobs. He hasn't worked since May 2016. He got a job but didn't go and said he was sick. We can't pay the doctor bill so he could get a doctor's note. So he just didn't go and lost the job. I work full time. I gAve him a month to get a job and told him if he didn't he would have to leave. There are jobs out there. He just doesn't want to work. I want my marriage to work but I can't do it on my own
 
Fern76 said:
HI
I am struggling In my marriage. My husband won't work. We have been married two years and he has had three jobs. He hasn't worked since May 2016. He got a job but didn't go and said he was sick. We can't pay the doctor bill so he could get a doctor's note. So he just didn't go and lost the job. I work full time. I gAve him a month to get a job and told him if he didn't he would have to leave. There are jobs out there. He just doesn't want to work. I want my marriage to work but I can't do it on my own
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I almost never recommend divorce but you need to move out of there and then see if he gets a job and begins to be a man. If he doesn't, divorce him, he is an ungodly bum.
 
Hi Sister Fern76 and welcome here in Jesus' name. I have to ask if you would really be better of without him. I know of many men working supporting their wives and children also. I know for me that for years I had to work a full time job, and all manner of spare time jobs also to have enough to even eat. I do realize that in this present time that the economy has escalated to the point that many times one salary just doesn't cut it. My prayer for you is to have you find the source of all our need possibly through the following scripture.
Heb 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Blessings in Christ Jesus. :wave2
 
Before we start throwing around the "D" word, is there anyone he respects and will listen to that could persuade him to get a job and start fulfilling his role in your marriage? Sometimes we just need the extra push from and external influence to get the ball rolling.
 
My guess is that he didn't change over night when you took your vows. Surely, you must have known what kind of provider he'd be as a husband unless your dating period was extremely short. I'm sorry you feel like you're at the end of your rope, but it's just hard to believe you were blindsided by his attitude towards work. Could it have been that you were convinced that "love concurs all" and maybe weren't evaluating the measure of the man?

If this wasn't obvious before you entered into a covenant with him, if this did take a decided turn, is there a possibility he's doing illicit drugs? A lot of people play down the danger and health risks of smoking pot, but one often overlooked correlation with pot is that its use generally decreases a person's motivation and drive.

Like Knotical, I don't think you should be running for divorce. There is no scriptural support for divorcing a man who probably wasn't an overachiever when you married him. If you have a church home, I'd encourage you to have him talk this over with your pastor. That's a start.
 
The best way for change to happen in someone else is to first pray for God to change you in relation to them. Aside from laziness there has to be some other reasons he is not looking for work, and by asking God to reveal to you how you can better witness to him then things will start to turn around. And as I said, if there is someone in your husband's life that they respect and will listen to you should approach them to see if they will work with you on finding out why your husband does not want to go to work/find a job.
 
There should probably be some hard rules when it comes to marriage advice, divorce advice specifically. Christ gave only one condition for divorce, infidelity. Any mature Christian presenting themselves to be a follower of Christ should only be giving out divorce advice accordingly. Marriage is the one earthly relationship deemed Holy by our Lord and should be treated as such. I believe all advice should be constructive and if any find themselves at a loss as to how to remain positive when giving advice then those seeking help should be referred/encouraged to seek professional help/counseling. Marriage is serious business. Anyhow, that's my two cents.
 
Pray for the root of his lack of motivation. Men are naturally inclined to provide, so what's blocking him? Once you see what the real issue is you can come against it with prayer and faith.

Don't give up!
 
Calvin here,
G'day Fern,
I just have to ask,
Do you know what he does with himself while you are at work?
Do you have any children?
How depressed would you say your husband is?
What was his work history prior to marriage?

My 'gut' feeling is that he needs a good Christian (preferably) counselor to help him deal with whatever issues are impeding him.
I'm really hoping you two can put these dark days behind you and enjoy each other as the Lord intends.
 
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