Christ_empowered
Member
me, yet again. if you're reading this, odds are pretty good you know my backstory. thanks, and thanks for keeping my family and me up in prayer, too.
im getting over stuff. a lot of what's said about me never was true, isn't true now. "the way the world works," I guess.
truth: God is good! I've been spared a felony. I've been off probation (2 years early!) for 1 year now. My parents and I Have reconciled. I'm healthy. I'm now bright eyed and surprisingly intelligent.
but, still...hearing people talk about "warrants," "jail," "prison," etc. gets to me. maybe that's the whole point? LOL. I"m starting to get it, I guess. Keep in mind; I was very, very sick for a while there.
im in a class online, so I (thankfully...) have other things to focus my mental energy on. I don't think I can become a member of this community, but...for right now, I"m far better off here, with my parents, than anywhere else. maybe after they're both retired for a while, we'll all 3 move somewhere.....else?
I've prayed forgiveness for my fear of man. It really has proven to be a snare, big time. I've also prayed forgiveness for my lingering spirit of timidity, and I've prayed for more of the perfect love that casteth out all fear.
I could easily be in prison, maybe the state hospital, on the streets, trapped in poverty w/ no way out, etc. This is...mild, compared to what -could- be happening, almost nothing compared to what came before.
Around here, I'm the flamer who had the lobotomy, etc. etc. etc. I -was- a flamer. I -was- lobotomized. I didn't ask for either one, of course. And now...
not a flamer. lobotomy or no lobotomy, I have a decent IQ estimate...more importantly, I'm "High functioning," so...God is good!
"Wherever you go, there you are." Dr.Seuss at his finest. This is where The Lord has for me, for this season of my life, and I -am- increasingly thankful.
When I stop to think about it, I know--rationally, logically, realistically--that I'm not in trouble. I was given early termination of probation based on good behavior. I haven't even had a speeding ticket in years. But...
I -was- targeted for destruction, labeled, destroyed. "Nothing personal," I guess. I just pray that all the troubles are over now, that's all.
Thanks.
im getting over stuff. a lot of what's said about me never was true, isn't true now. "the way the world works," I guess.
truth: God is good! I've been spared a felony. I've been off probation (2 years early!) for 1 year now. My parents and I Have reconciled. I'm healthy. I'm now bright eyed and surprisingly intelligent.
but, still...hearing people talk about "warrants," "jail," "prison," etc. gets to me. maybe that's the whole point? LOL. I"m starting to get it, I guess. Keep in mind; I was very, very sick for a while there.
im in a class online, so I (thankfully...) have other things to focus my mental energy on. I don't think I can become a member of this community, but...for right now, I"m far better off here, with my parents, than anywhere else. maybe after they're both retired for a while, we'll all 3 move somewhere.....else?
I've prayed forgiveness for my fear of man. It really has proven to be a snare, big time. I've also prayed forgiveness for my lingering spirit of timidity, and I've prayed for more of the perfect love that casteth out all fear.
I could easily be in prison, maybe the state hospital, on the streets, trapped in poverty w/ no way out, etc. This is...mild, compared to what -could- be happening, almost nothing compared to what came before.
Around here, I'm the flamer who had the lobotomy, etc. etc. etc. I -was- a flamer. I -was- lobotomized. I didn't ask for either one, of course. And now...
not a flamer. lobotomy or no lobotomy, I have a decent IQ estimate...more importantly, I'm "High functioning," so...God is good!
"Wherever you go, there you are." Dr.Seuss at his finest. This is where The Lord has for me, for this season of my life, and I -am- increasingly thankful.
When I stop to think about it, I know--rationally, logically, realistically--that I'm not in trouble. I was given early termination of probation based on good behavior. I haven't even had a speeding ticket in years. But...
I -was- targeted for destruction, labeled, destroyed. "Nothing personal," I guess. I just pray that all the troubles are over now, that's all.
Thanks.