I was saved very young, around four, through an older woman who told me about Jesus and how He died for me. I knew I needed Jesus to take my sins away. I prayed and asked Him too, and He did. God also revealed Himself to me and showed me that He loved me enough to send His Son. As a child I clung to Him.
When I was nine, I was baptized in a river by my uncle. I was so happy, because I had wanted to be baptized for a long time. I felt so blessed to be able to do what Jesus told me to do. I celebrated that day.
I read the Bible a lot as a young person, and books like 'In His Steps", "By Searching", "Pilgrims Progress", "Chronicles of Mansoul" etc. I didn't understand everything, but I learned and grew. By the age of 12 I just knew that my life was God's, and that I would spend it serving Him, but I really needed instruction. My dad and I would go over things, but he wasn't a believer.
As a teenager I began to really receive instruction, and I went on mission trips, got into playing and singing music, and just really wanted to serve Christ in any way I could. I also began visiting the sick and elderly with a family from our church, and It made me realize that we needed to share the Gospel...time was running out for many. The Lord used many loving believers to shape me and teach me...I am so thankful they took the time. I also had a lot of stinging tears during this time, because 'rebuke' seemed to be the theme of my teenage years. I was struggling with self-righteousness and pride, and God was knocking it down.
I had some struggles in my early twenties, and I began to loose heart in my walk due to a devastating circumstance. It left me weary from this world, and I needed more understanding of the Word so that I could move through it. This was a very dark time for me, and I lapsed into a heavy depression that wouldn't leave me for years. I started taking very strong medicines, and I was consumed with hopeless thoughts. I just couldn't bring myself to care about anything. I stopped the meds, and things seemed to get worse. I still hate to think of this time, not because of the pain and difficulty, but because of my lack of faith in the God I loved and served. I lived through it to praise Him, and I should have known I would. This time was one of the biggest blessings in my life. My pride was being crushed, and my self-righteous heart wrung.
God brought a wonderful man into my life not long after, and he taught me about family and about obeying God from the heart. I was finally in a teachable place. I learned that God was with me all through that dark time, and that my emotions were not true...only God is true. I repented of my self-centeredness and the hopelessness that had consumed me, and after the birth of our second son God helped me turn my back on depression once and for all with His word...He just opened my eyes and healed me. He also used my marriage to give me a bette picture of who He is. I was just feeding on Jesus during this time.
Eventually I was given sweet, sweet children, my blessings, I decided to be stay home right after the birth of my oldest son, and then we made the decision to home educate. I felt so blessed, and I knew instantly that it was my responsibility to train them for the Lord so that I could give them back to Him as warriors. The Lord showed me even more about who He was through parenthood. I would often come face to face with my own self-centered bratty ways, and I was able to really repent and die to myself as I contin.ued a process of unlearning and conforming. This would be just one instance of a long line of sin being revealed and repented of...I am still doing this.
My husband had a vision of raising his family on a farm, and teaching his children about work. We sold our bungelow and headed west. We found a farm that needed to be rennovated, and we settled here to raise sheep for milk as well as other livestock to provide our own food. The adjustment was hard for me, because I love the city, but again God was teaching me. He was showing me to trust him by being obedient to my husband. Shaun had an awesome vision, but it would take years for me to understand it.
My husband died in 2003 suddenly, and again the Lord revealed Himself in even more ways, and I learned that I do not walk alone here. He is with me, but He also has a physical body here, and I was part of it, they met every need we had. I was amazed to see people work in unity without even knowing it. God is so good. He comforted me, and He comforted my children. He kept believers around us that told us the truth, and showed great love. I was able to accept His will, and trust Him simply because He had prepared me by building my faith through other trials. He is so good like that. We grieved, but we were also comforted knowing that God's plan is better than ours. He is always doing us good, and has a better perspective.
I spent the next years as a single parent home educating, and delivering papers with my children to pay the bills. It was so fun and crazy. We left the farm for a while to live in Colorado, because I just had to get away from memories that were tearing me apart. The Rocky Mountains cleared my head, gave me a the ability to be a better mother, and the opportunity to rest in the Lord. When we weren't working, we were sledding or riding snowmobiles in the Rockies. It is the most beautiful place on Earth to me. I felt close to God in those mountains, and He began putting back together my shattered heart.
I met my current husband in Loveland. The Lord just put us together, and it has been amazing. I learned that God is gracious, my Help, and that He is my Restorer. We eventually moved back to the farm, and we are still raising animals. It wasn't long after we came back that my lungs started failing. Some on this board may remember that time. I went from healthy to bedridden with pneumonia overnight it seemed. I stayed there for over two years. I spent that time gasping for breath, taking heavy medicines and steroids, but as you may know by now...God was there. He brought us closer, and my husband really showed me what kind of man he was. He took care of me, the house, the farm, the children and their education, and he was loving and strong with God's help the entire time. My children served me, prayed for me, and just never stopped being caring and concerned. I was also able to spend a lot of time with the Lord in prayer and in the Word.
God also used this time to reveal a heart condition in my daughter. Her father died from this condition, and so we felt very blessed to have found it early. Praise God! I am on the mend and getting stronger every day slowly but surely I am undoing what the last few years has done to my body...all only by the grace of God. I don't know what else to say, but that I do not regret putting my trust in the Lord Jesus, and that I am a fool for Him. All I have is His, even my precious family, I trust Him with all I have to do with as He will so that He may be glorified. I am amazed as His truth, and His love.
The Lord bless you
Nice Dave.
