Autumnxsweet
Member
Hi everyone. I was very hesitant to sign up today but felt compelled to share my testimony. I was born catholic but stopped attending church at a young age with little to no catholic discipline in my life. Around the age of 18 I found myself saying I was agnostic and things shifted for me. I started hanging out with the wrong people who got me in to different things like weed and pills and by the time I was 23 I was smoking everyday and getting in to psychedelics. I grew interested in yoga, meditation, spirituality, reiki, was learning about witchcraft and my biggest influence was a spiritual leader who stated she grew up with satanism. At about 23 I was sitting in my room one day and I began hearing men’s laughter and I didn’t know where it was coming from. This turned in to a steady occurrence of different voices saying things in my mind and at first grew in to my spiritual teacher talking to me telepathically and I believed it to be real because she said she had special gifts where she could do such things. She would go on to post weekly YouTube videos where I felt she was speaking directly to me and knew me and was using me as a muse of some sort if that’s the right word. I began listening to her and at the same time other voices and additional synchronicities that gave my life meaning and purpose.. as if everything was lining up perfectly.. after some time of listening to her and doing things I shouldn’t do the voices turned rude and would belittle me and tell me to hurt myself and die etc. this branches out to other things I won’t get in to but it got so bad that one day I took a few pills and end d up getting in my car, crashing it, and meeting with police where unfortunately in my state I got feisty with them and was sent to jail. In jail I continued to see and hear things and distinctly remember, because I did not have my glasses, looking at another inmate across the room and seeing jesus’ figure. My mind kept telling me my father was coming and soon after I was released. I spent my free time going to a Christian church for the first time, waiting to find out if I would be sent to prison, and in those times being saved, baptized, mentored, and healed. I was no longer doing drugs, I was taking medication, I was being a better person. For a while it was hard becaus the voices were loud and hurtful and I didn’t have a desire to live because I felt I would be locked away forever and all interest in spiritual things left me to never return. I prayed and asked God to help the system and those in it to see my case with a love and understanding that Jesus has and I was granted probation and mental health help as well. The voices got better and I am now at a point in my life that I seek to know who Jesus is, and how I can build a better relationship with him. I have a desire to live and often times I’m smiling. Life is not easy to charges but God has found a way for me. I truly believe me leading myself down the wrong path introduced me to doors that flooded me with darkness but there is a light that I see in God that keeps me wanting Him when time gets difficult. I want to one day be open about what has happened to me and help others who are in a dark place to find the light and push through.
You believe that science and religion can coexist too?? You know you may be a Baptist and I may be a Methodist, buy other than that it really is scary how much we are alike. Who would have thunk? 
(Hercules reference)
