One Liners - Jokes.

[Wrg1405]

This one just won at the Edingburgh Festival

My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.

Here's one for my friends over the pond

“I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.”

And a couple more to start the ball rolling

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes

 

[th1b.taylor]

“I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.”

This one needed telling in the sixties by an English Soldier in an American Guesthause in, I'm guessing, Hanau? It would have produced one great fight to have bragged about. I would still be telling my grandchildren about how brave the English are! Oh, and one of my best friends is an English Warrant Officer, retired and on the Mission Field in Guatemala. I must go on FB and give him this one.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

 

[Jethro Bodine]

WRG, I'm disappointed..........not one Irish joke!

(I'm told that the Irish are the brunt of the jokes over there in the kingdom)

 

[Wrg1405]

WRG, I'm disappointed..........not one Irish joke!

(I'm told that the Irish are the brunt of the jokes over there in the kingdom)

They are and if my memory serves me they do the same with each other.

 

[Edward]

Do you all realize how many Polish jokes that there are?





Two. The rest are the truth.

 

[Wrg1405]

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

 

[GodsGrace]

This one just won at the Edingburgh Festival

My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.

Here's one for my friends over the pond

“I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.”

And a couple more to start the ball rolling

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes

 

[GodsGrace]

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

You're tooooo good Wrg!!!!
Keep 'em comin'!

 

[Deborah13]

Jake told me this joke this morning during science class.

What did the mushroom say to the leaf?
I'm a fungi.

 

[GodsGrace]

 

[GodsGrace]

Why it's important to speak English correctly:



Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I don't get it...

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Why it's important to speak English correctly:



Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

I have more church jokes in my Bible.
Ha....I made a funny.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Jake told me this joke this morning during science class.

What did the mushroom say to the leaf?
I'm a fungi.

Took me a minute, but I gets it now.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

I don't get it...

That's because you are a brain surgeon.
It's hard for you to reason.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

I have more church jokes in my Bible.
Ha....I made a funny.

I have something funny to say and it is this;
Why don't you shut up!!


HAW HAW HAW!

 

[Jethro Bodine]

That's because you are a brain surgeon.
It's hard for you to reason.

Hold still while I give you a frontal lobotomy.
Oh, sorry.........I see you already have one.

 

[GodsGrace]

Took me a minute, but I gets it now.

Could you share?
Funghi = Fun guy.
And the rest??