paranoid?

[Christ_empowered]

I go to Dunkin Donuts a lot. I need to quit, but its a little luxury.

OK. I always go to the drive thru. I almost always order the same thing--a big cold brew, a flavor syrup, and some cream. No sugar.

This time I went and when the coffee came out, it wasn't even mixed. And the flavor syrup I order turns the coffee a dark color, and this coffee had ---tons--- of cream and very little flavor. The dude who handed me the cup looked embarassed and put more syrup in it and stirred it up.

Same thing happened the time before, except nobody fixed it.

I should add that this DD is near an apartment I lived in a couple years ago, and I have a terrible reputation in this whole community.

But...then sometimes, a couple DD workers will give me discounts. Others seem surly.

Sounds paranoid, but...years ago, after my epic Breakdown (from Hell), I went to get coffee at another place, and the lady there whispered things about me "getting passed around" under her breath. That was a long time ago, but this is a southern community and, well, I also get paranoid.

I know this seems a random, odd question, but I'm only now definitely, for realises recovering from everything, so its kind of hard for me to read people like I imagine most people can.

Thanks.

 

[reba]

People working in fast food come and go, from those jobs all the time ... so the stores are breaking in new guys most the time.. and even long time employees make mistakes...

In reality CE ( i have lived all but 20 of my 70 years in small towns so i get the small town thing) most people dont care what your life style was or is.. We care around here cuz you are a brother

 

[handy]

What you said here: "I'm only now definitely, for realises recovering from everything, so its kind of hard for me to read people like I imagine most people can" is pretty key. Accurately reading people takes time and practice...something you're just now starting to do....and most of us never get all that great at it. Even the most mentally healthy of us struggle with the idea that someone or maybe many, are judging us, whispering about us, etc..

The truth is... for the most part... people tend to not really be all that invested in others. Most of the time a mistake, like forgetting to put the right syrup in a customer's coffee, is nothing more than a mistake.

Granted, you have a somewhat more solid reason for the sort of vague paranoia that all small town residents tend to feel now and then, but I think the best course for you at this point in time is to not look for reasons to worry, unless and until someone gives you a specific reason to worry. As simple and even naive as this may sound... I think if you just determine that you will always think the best of others and believe the best of them, a mental exercise of the Golden Rule, then you'll probably find, in due time, others will see the best in you.

 

[daninthelionsden]

I go to Dunkin Donuts a lot. I need to quit, but its a little luxury.

OK. I always go to the drive thru. I almost always order the same thing--a big cold brew, a flavor syrup, and some cream. No sugar.

This time I went and when the coffee came out, it wasn't even mixed. And the flavor syrup I order turns the coffee a dark color, and this coffee had ---tons--- of cream and very little flavor. The dude who handed me the cup looked embarassed and put more syrup in it and stirred it up.

Same thing happened the time before, except nobody fixed it.

I should add that this DD is near an apartment I lived in a couple years ago, and I have a terrible reputation in this whole community.

But...then sometimes, a couple DD workers will give me discounts. Others seem surly.

Sounds paranoid, but...years ago, after my epic Breakdown (from Hell), I went to get coffee at another place, and the lady there whispered things about me "getting passed around" under her breath. That was a long time ago, but this is a southern community and, well, I also get paranoid.

I know this seems a random, odd question, but I'm only now definitely, for realises recovering from everything, so its kind of hard for me to read people like I imagine most people can.

Thanks.

Just be glad you don't live in Texas. We've had to just about quit eating out at all. Food/service tampering is fairly frequent. I've come to believe the stories one hears about "food-rage" at some places around the country are done on purpose to antagonize anyone on government assistance into becoming aggressive. One lady was served water over and over again at a restaurant until she blew up at the waitress......who is at fault?????? 3 guesses.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks for the replies.

OK. Dunkin Donuts is tasty, but I should cut back, anyway. Even with the discounts, I could be doing other things with the $$$. Besides, my dad just got me a grinder with different settings on it and some whole bean coffee from Starbucks. Life.is.good.

Its a funny thing, being mentally ill to the point that you're on disability...and also coming from what is apparently considered (now) a "good family" (its The Bible Belt, y'all!). On the one hand, I'm unemployed, so that's frowned upon. And I'm on disability, which isn't kosher 'round here. But then, I have my now (apparently) "genteel" parents solidly behind me. I over-think this, I know--I should just be glad to have the life I have now--but its interesting. Its like tallying points; -2 for "Schizophrenia," +3 for a "good family," etc. So...what's my total score?

At any rate, I'm better off here, now, with my people, on disability, doing my own thing, than any other possible outcome. I could easily be locked up somewhere terrible, living in --real-- poverty with no way out, on skid row, living in --real-- psychiatric slavery (in and out of hospitals when you get "uppity," etc.), on and on it goes. God is good!

But, yeah. I'll still go to DD, just not as much. I can buy flavor syrups and cream for the house, and I've got a "cold brew system" (not at all fancy, but it does make a delicious cold brew coffee concentrate...in 12-24 hours) here, so...buh bye for now, DD.

Thanks again for the replies.

 

[jasonc]

Yuck dd.