Christ_empowered
Member
It can be hard to move forward for me. I messed up as a teenager, so mental health "professionals" decided to "teach me a lesson," blah blah blah. I think this is how they treat poor people, "uppity women," and "trouble makers." Psychiatry isn't that much different now than it was in the 1950s, there's just a lot more double speak going on in place of the honesty shrinks had back in the day ("electroshock" is now "electroconvulsive therapy," and it supposedly doesn't cause brain damage. riiiight....).
Anyway, point is..its been a rough road to travel, both because of my own sins and mistakes and also because of these ridiculously cruel, sadistic, "professionals" labeling me and punishing me at every turn. The Lord is good to me, though. I now get disability (not ideal, but I really cannot work...mix of too much shock, stigma from all the labels, and local economic conditions...) and I'm pursuing some of my goals, by God's grace (!!!).
I also have my parents solidly behind me. This alone is a miracle. The Lord has blessed their hardwork and such with more resources and higher social status. That's great for them--this town was rough on all 3 of us before they "moved up in the world," so I'm glad they're more respected now--and it provides me with something of a "buffer" between this hostile community and me. The Lord is good to me, that's for sure.
So, I'm more able to move forward. today, I was outside talking to my dad, and as I walked in I overheard some neighbor lady going on about "our tax dollars," blah blah blah. Here's what I don't get. These same neighbors want me in a hospital (tax dollars) and/or prison (tax dollars), but they get straight up furious when I'm living comfortably off my parents+disability (tax $$$, but far less than a hospital or prison). Plus, I'm doing what I can to hopefully, maybe, possibly transition off of disability and into a j-o-b, but its hard, especially in my situation.
I'm learning--by God's grace--to tune people out better and just press forward. I'm also learning that...well...this is how people "really feel" about me. "Trailer park f@ggot," etc. etc. etc. If it wasn't for The Lord and my parents, I'd be living in real poverty with no control over my life, just another impoverished "mental patient," punished for my very existence, no buffer, no way out. I'm beginning to see that this isn't something that just "happens"; psychiatrists, especially the kind I dealt with, back then, create victims, and they take joy out of doing so. Oh, and they make a lot of $$$ off creating victims, too.
OK. Part ramble, part rant, but still: Praise! I'm healthy, I'm free, I'm safe. My parents love me and take good care of me. I might have a j-o-b one day, hopefully. I "get" how people feel about me around here, I do. Its a power issue, and I'm beginning to see that its "nothing personal," just the way this community works. "School to prison pipeline" ? Sure. What about the "school to psych ward" pipeline? I think its real, personally.
Anyway, seriously: I Praise God (!!!) for bringing me this far. Wise as serpents, innocent as doves. I see the world more clearly now, for what it is. All the more reason to cling to Jesus.
Anyway, point is..its been a rough road to travel, both because of my own sins and mistakes and also because of these ridiculously cruel, sadistic, "professionals" labeling me and punishing me at every turn. The Lord is good to me, though. I now get disability (not ideal, but I really cannot work...mix of too much shock, stigma from all the labels, and local economic conditions...) and I'm pursuing some of my goals, by God's grace (!!!).
I also have my parents solidly behind me. This alone is a miracle. The Lord has blessed their hardwork and such with more resources and higher social status. That's great for them--this town was rough on all 3 of us before they "moved up in the world," so I'm glad they're more respected now--and it provides me with something of a "buffer" between this hostile community and me. The Lord is good to me, that's for sure.
So, I'm more able to move forward. today, I was outside talking to my dad, and as I walked in I overheard some neighbor lady going on about "our tax dollars," blah blah blah. Here's what I don't get. These same neighbors want me in a hospital (tax dollars) and/or prison (tax dollars), but they get straight up furious when I'm living comfortably off my parents+disability (tax $$$, but far less than a hospital or prison). Plus, I'm doing what I can to hopefully, maybe, possibly transition off of disability and into a j-o-b, but its hard, especially in my situation.
I'm learning--by God's grace--to tune people out better and just press forward. I'm also learning that...well...this is how people "really feel" about me. "Trailer park f@ggot," etc. etc. etc. If it wasn't for The Lord and my parents, I'd be living in real poverty with no control over my life, just another impoverished "mental patient," punished for my very existence, no buffer, no way out. I'm beginning to see that this isn't something that just "happens"; psychiatrists, especially the kind I dealt with, back then, create victims, and they take joy out of doing so. Oh, and they make a lot of $$$ off creating victims, too.
OK. Part ramble, part rant, but still: Praise! I'm healthy, I'm free, I'm safe. My parents love me and take good care of me. I might have a j-o-b one day, hopefully. I "get" how people feel about me around here, I do. Its a power issue, and I'm beginning to see that its "nothing personal," just the way this community works. "School to prison pipeline" ? Sure. What about the "school to psych ward" pipeline? I think its real, personally.
Anyway, seriously: I Praise God (!!!) for bringing me this far. Wise as serpents, innocent as doves. I see the world more clearly now, for what it is. All the more reason to cling to Jesus.