[__ Prayer __] Prayer for general circumstances

[AngelsAmongstUs]

Hi, all. Things are rough lately. My grandmother is almost totally incompetent now; she can't walk or see, she has dementia and several other ailments. My grandfather is also slowly degenerating due to old age. I live with them as my father rejected me as a a child after he accidentally got my mother killed in a car accident and I've had issues with depression and anxiety my whole life. I never learned how to be an adult. I'm 32 now, but I'll always be a kid, I suppose, unable to face life normal people do, whether what's happening is good or bad.

My work situation from last time didn't work out, so I have money worries. I'm terribly scared of being all alone and hapless. I can't sleep well; I can't remember the last time I've had a good night's sleep. I still have an addiction problem and the so-called empathetic shrinks all over this city have humiliated me by acting "in my best interest" behind my back - calling around to one another and spreading rumours... I've never done illegal drugs and I don't drink alcohol, and though what I did wasn't right (doctor shopping for prescriptions), it wasn't worth making me out a reckless, useless, insane junkie.

From 2012 until late 2015 I was abused over and over by psychopaths and narcissists (most of them front-pew Christians), being too stupid/deluded/naive to walk away. The emotional scars and nightmares still remain. I'm so tired of life and it's so incredibly painful to see my sweet, sweet grandparents fading away. They're 81 and 85 years old respectively now. In another three, four years I'll be all by myself.

I'm going to try to get an early appointment with my current psychiatrist tomorrow (otherwise I have to wait until May) and ask him to help me with my medication. He's a good man and I know he'll try his hardest to help me, but he's only human and there's an undercurrent of an attraction between us, which increases my angst, but he's the only psychiatrist left around here that I trust. In any case, I'm not in a good place in life. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted and I don't know how to pray anymore.

Please, please pray for me as much as you can, asking the Lord to give me new hope and a new lease on life.

Blessings to all.

 

[Eugene]

.
Dear Father, it's times such as this I've learned to turn to You, and that You had not forsaken me. Please encourage this young sister of ours in her time of need, and provide the needed source of income as well as the ability to grow into the will You have for her. Thank You Father for having her among us, grant all the grace she needs in this trial of her faith, and I praise You for it to Your glory in Jesus' name. amen.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I pray in agreement with Eugene. As usual, he's put a lot of thought and heart into his prayer for you.

All I can say, speaking as someone who has somewhat similar experiences with mental health, inc., is that the pills can only carry you so far. I'm glad that you have a psychiatrist you can work with, even though the relationship isn't ideal it seems. I'll keep you up in prayer. Please keep us here posted as your situation develops.

 

[Colin]

Bless you, and know that I will be praying for God to work His wonders in your life.

 

[Jehovah-Rapha]

agreed amen

 

[Winnie]

Hi angels,

Prayers for you.
Also, God is our ultimate healer. He can do anything.
Spending time with Him and His Word transforms us, helps to heal. I really want to encourage you look more the Lord for help and trust in Him.

Xoxo

 

[Christ_empowered]

hi. me again. any updates?

I do want to 2nd what winnie has said. Many times, I wished I'd never gone to a psychiatrist. Now, I can't complain, because of The Lord's work in my life, but...psychiatry and psychology aren't all that Christ-like. On a good day, you'll get a well-meaning person. A lot of times, though, you get people who care more about $$$, power, and their dogma than they do about the person/patient (unless you're rich).

The only good counselors I've had were Christians. The one I did in-depth counseling with...I'm just now at a point where I can really digest and apply what he was saying. 1) Happy people don't go to counselors. 2) God can and will "re-parent" you; you just have to ask. 3) Psych drugs are like Band-aids, or casts for broken arms; you take them, you heal, you drop the drugs and move on.

This is just was much for me as for you. I see a psychiatrist, too, and...well, I'm thinking I'm going to have to grow up some more and move away in order to really "get well," or whatever. For now, the pills are the appointments are a part of my life. I hope+pray that both of us can move beyond all that.

 

[AngelsAmongstUs]

I am SO tired of the verbal/mental abuse, the joblessness, the accusations that I'm selfish and mental (so any time I make a mistake = oh, she has mental issues, you'll have to excuse her), the blame-shifting, the fights in this house... All I want sometimes is a hug and some reassurance without scoldings or being yelled at. I'm honestly beyond tired of life, you guys. I can't face any more of this. I'm in no position to just walk out. I have no money, no job, I'm crazy, my country is a violent and dangerous place, no friends, distant family sees from the outside inward like this house is a saint, church people will "pray for you" without any practical help... What's the use of all this?

I'm always crying. I drove myself to the ER last week because nobody else would to report myself as suicidal. Given more pills, lasted a week or so, no real support from family. Just bootstraps up and take it. Other family member in hospital with a physical illness, oh, no, the horror - constant attention and help and understanding. Me? No big deal. Drama queen, selfish drama queen who needs to stop thinking the world revolves around her. I'm useless and ugly and completely insane. I'm sick of everything.

 

[Christ_empowered]

hi. me again. Please don't be offended by one of my posts. I just have "issues" with mental health, inc. I'll pray for you...

Its hard, being mentally ill in most places. Sounds extra difficult for you. I'm sorry about that. I'm dependent on my parents, chronically unemployed, and the pariah of a small, southern (Bible Belt, y'all!) community. It...gets...old. And it gets rough, too.

I'm sorry. You're not a drama queen. I know how it is, when you talk but no one hears. That's one reason I can't stand mental health, inc. My records are full of inaccuracies and straight up lies, because they just wanted $$$ and control. "Help" me? Hah! No!

I'm rambling. Do you have a disability program where you live? I'm on disability here in the US. Its very little, honestly. Without my parents, I'd be dead.

Other than that, I don't know what to do except pray. Please keep us all posted on your life and everything. Again, I know what its like when people dismiss you, refuse to listen, etc. Story of my life, really. That's a big part of the reason why I took over this forum for a while there, lol. Even now, people in my neighborhood will call me names and yell out "f@ggots don't matter!" and 'schizophrenics don't matter!', etc., and...yeah. I get where you're coming from, to a point.

You're in my prayers.

 

[Jehovah-Rapha]

I am SO tired of the verbal/mental abuse, the joblessness, the accusations that I'm selfish and mental (so any time I make a mistake = oh, she has mental issues, you'll have to excuse her), the blame-shifting, the fights in this house... All I want sometimes is a hug and some reassurance without scoldings or being yelled at. I'm honestly beyond tired of life, you guys. I can't face any more of this. I'm in no position to just walk out. I have no money, no job, I'm crazy, my country is a violent and dangerous place, no friends, distant family sees from the outside inward like this house is a saint, church people will "pray for you" without any practical help... What's the use of all this?

I'm always crying. I drove myself to the ER last week because nobody else would to report myself as suicidal. Given more pills, lasted a week or so, no real support from family. Just bootstraps up and take it. Other family member in hospital with a physical illness, oh, no, the horror - constant attention and help and understanding. Me? No big deal. Drama queen, selfish drama queen who needs to stop thinking the world revolves around her. I'm useless and ugly and completely insane. I'm sick of everything.

BIG LOVING HUG TO YOU

 

[GodsGrace]

I am SO tired of the verbal/mental abuse, the joblessness, the accusations that I'm selfish and mental (so any time I make a mistake = oh, she has mental issues, you'll have to excuse her), the blame-shifting, the fights in this house... All I want sometimes is a hug and some reassurance without scoldings or being yelled at. I'm honestly beyond tired of life, you guys. I can't face any more of this. I'm in no position to just walk out. I have no money, no job, I'm crazy, my country is a violent and dangerous place, no friends, distant family sees from the outside inward like this house is a saint, church people will "pray for you" without any practical help... What's the use of all this?

I'm always crying. I drove myself to the ER last week because nobody else would to report myself as suicidal. Given more pills, lasted a week or so, no real support from family. Just bootstraps up and take it. Other family member in hospital with a physical illness, oh, no, the horror - constant attention and help and understanding. Me? No big deal. Drama queen, selfish drama queen who needs to stop thinking the world revolves around her. I'm useless and ugly and completely insane. I'm sick of everything.

Hi Angel
I think that in many ways we go through similar situations. Not that I could possibly know what you are experiencing since we are all individuals.

However, I do remember that when my mother and then my father got sick with long term illnesses, I thought I just would not be able to handle it emotionally.

But if we stay close to God we do handle our problems.
And eventually they pass.
And then we get our strength back, and in time we forget the emotional hardship.

I'd like to encourage you. Life is always changing...Nothing stays the same.
Look forward to better times when you won't be so strained.

I'll be praying for you.

 

[GodsGrace]

I am SO tired of the verbal/mental abuse, the joblessness, the accusations that I'm selfish and mental (so any time I make a mistake = oh, she has mental issues, you'll have to excuse her), the blame-shifting, the fights in this house... All I want sometimes is a hug and some reassurance without scoldings or being yelled at. I'm honestly beyond tired of life, you guys. I can't face any more of this. I'm in no position to just walk out. I have no money, no job, I'm crazy, my country is a violent and dangerous place, no friends, distant family sees from the outside inward like this house is a saint, church people will "pray for you" without any practical help... What's the use of all this?

I'm always crying. I drove myself to the ER last week because nobody else would to report myself as suicidal. Given more pills, lasted a week or so, no real support from family. Just bootstraps up and take it. Other family member in hospital with a physical illness, oh, no, the horror - constant attention and help and understanding. Me? No big deal. Drama queen, selfish drama queen who needs to stop thinking the world revolves around her. I'm useless and ugly and completely insane. I'm sick of everything.

How's it going Angels?
Bootstraps?
When one is depressed there are no bootstraps.
But this is not understood by those who have never tried.
Let us know how you are.