Premarital Sex...

[Blazin Bones]

believe it or not, there are many christians who would not mind sex before marraige, what are your thoughts on the matter?

 

[Fnerb]

I'm not single anymore (and will be officially un-single in October) but would still like to chime in if I may...

I think that this, or just sexual immorallity in general is one of the most difficult sins that I have faced / continue to face. Far too often it's one of those sins that I know is wrong, but end up giving into. : I have practiced abstinance, as has my fiance, and we will continue to until after our wedding.

However, everything regarding sexual imorrality is one of the biggest causes of grief in my life... :-?

 

[Preacher Boy]

believe it or not, there are many christians who would not mind sex before marriage, what are your thoughts on the matter?

If they are truly Christians, then they would have to be grieving the Holy Ghost is a very heavy duty fashion!

1 Corinthians 6:18-20
(18) Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
(19) What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
(20) For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.


Ephesians 4:29-30
(29) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
(30) And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Hebrews 12:6-8
(6) For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
(7) If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
(8) But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

 

[antitox]

Let's look at it from a human perpective for a moment:

The basis for finding someone to live the rest of your life with is there has to be not only common areas where you are compatible, but people need to bond emotionally and relationally over time. What happens when sex gets introduced early in the game, it creates an emotional bond prior to any of the relational issues being examined and walked through. Then a few months later, sometimes longer in some cases, they begin to see the other issues in the relationship and problems occur due to those differences they didn't walk through originally. Because these people keep approaching relationships that way, they simply continue going from relationship to relationship, hollywood style, and then start assuming that they may never get married cause it never works out.

I think that when two people meet and really develop strong feelings for each other and a good bond is formed, that they will both want sex to occur after the marriage committment. There's just something wonderful about a man and woman really experiencing love at its right pace that makes the bond grow stronger than it would ever be any other way.

 

[Blazin Bones]

As a single guy, my battle isn't as bad, but nontheless, the temptation is there. I know who my God is and part of my strength comes from knowing that when I meet my true love, the intimacy will be much more genuine because I have waited. While it's a struggle, i just think obedience to God and the joy I may one day share will be worth it.

 

[goatitis]

we just need to openly discuss our struggles and all will be well

 

[Blazin Bones]

That is a very solid solution right there. When was the last time Christian's truly shared their burdens with one another. We we're not taught to do so for no reason.

 

[LostKid]

Sexual immorality (including sex before marriage), as illustrated by someone here earlier, causes the holy spirit to grieve and is, therefore, bad.

Be thankful your battle isn't as bad as some of ours.

 

[Archetype]

Sexual immorality (including sex before marriage), as illustrated by someone here earlier, causes the holy spirit to grieve and is, therefore, bad.

Be thankful your battle isn't as bad as some of ours.

I agree. It is a sin of the flesh:

Paul even said(under the authority of christ):

1 Cor 7 1-2 It is a good thing for a man not to touch a woman, but because of cases of immorality(fornication) every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband.

1 Cor 7: 8-9: now to the unmarried and the widows, it is a good thing for them to remain as they are, as I do, however if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.

Premarital Sex, which is extra-marital sex, is CLEARLY an unchristian practice.

I'm not saying it is easy...the flesh is very tempting.

However, sex is not consecrated until the sacrament of marriage is implemented, in the lord's name.

Anything else is of the evil one.

So pray.

 

[Juliamay]

Its a tough area we all know the scriptures we all know its not good but its still a temptation that is very hard to resist.

You are constantly bombarded with advertising, books, newspaper, films etc. You can not detached yourself from the world.

The only way through is constant pray, constant vigil and praying for the right partner so you have someone to share with.

God bless
Julia

 

[Archetype]

To me, scripture clearly spells out that masterbation and premarital sex are sins and should be avoided.

I'm not saying that I am infallible, but the rationale seems consistent with christ's teachings. I just don't see why would anyone would interpret something else. It is good though that you ask questions, after all, all professing christian's duty is to seek the truth( we just have to be careful not to become heretics/pharisees/hypocrites). I am still working on it, I am a confessed filthy sinner but through christ i am saved.

So I'll leave it at that.

 

[LostKid]

Good point.

Sorry if I came across as a jerk, I've been angry lately.

 

[Archetype]

Good point.

Sorry if I came across as a jerk, I've been angry lately.

Same here. I get that way about my beliefs. I'm not going to be a convincing minister for the lord if I act that way. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar or something like that.

 

[Relic]

.



What impression are some people leaving for others? That sin is undefeatable? :o
Being a Christian means to being given the ability to overcome any temptation! Not to be defeated!



Jesus says to "Take up your cross daily..." What do you think that means, to ignore submission to the Holy spirit? I think not!

Jesus says to "Go and Sin no more ..." What do you think that means, to ignore submission to the Holy spirit? I think not!

In regard to masterbation, and in making out before marriage, men, learn how to respect women instead of selfishly objectifying them. The flesh of a women is not an object. God's description of woman is far from that. Love woman AS Christ loves the Church. And women, must prepare as the "Bride" of Christ. Hello.... a person who is going to marry Christ Jesus does not fornicate with anyone! Will Christ marry a harlot, or anyone who walks IN sin? Remain pure for your huband woman. Will Christ fornicate? Men remain pure for your bride. As Christians, we are to be pure for our mate only, IN marriage, not outside of marraige! Marriage is a God ordained union, NOT a state ordained one! It is a creation OF GOD, Not any secular society, nor should we live by permiscuous behavior or lack of discipline as dictated by a secular society as being anything goes.

Through Christ Holy Spirit GUYS! There is Victory to overcome each and every temptation that comes into your "mind". Do not belittle the Holy Spirit by saying your sin has control over you rather than saying, the Holy Spirit gives you Victory when temptation shows up! God is not a liar! Where is your heart? Where is your focus? Is it on the Holy Spirit? Stop saying you have the Holy Spirit in you IF you say you are unable to gain victory over the flesh! Then you have not submitted to the Holy Spirit! The Holy Spirit cannot sin and will not ever give itself over to the act of sin!

LIVE IN THE HOLY SPIRIT.
DECERN THE SPIRIT THAT COMES BEFORE YOU AT ALL TIMES.
LOOK TO THE HOLY SPIRIT AT ALL TIMES.
And you WILL not act on the suggestion of an unholy spirit!

Stop thinking and writing defeat, and practice victory IN CHRIST JESUS! TAKE IT! Confess it!
When Jesus was tempted he spoke scriptures that were relevant to the particular temptation that that devil spoke in his ear!

Take on that SAME SPIRIT AS CHRIST JESUS!
There IS VICTORY IN USING/TAKING ON THE HOLY SPIRIT OF CHRIST JESUS.

Jesus Christ Holy Spirit IS the VICTOR! NOT the unclean, vile spirit of that demon spirit lucifer! So Stop making the word of God ineffective in you! :x

So then, better to start claiming victory IN the Holy Spirit! Stop making it/Him out as a whimp that is of no effect IN you!

If Christ be for us who is against us?

Take the victory over the defeat!

Speak to the things/thoughts that tempt, just as Jesus spoke.. Out-loud! Rebuke it out of your presence. You must renew your mind with thoughts that are not of that spirit that taunts and tempts. You must change thought/turn away from it! No matter how many times it comes back to taunt/tempt you. YOU ARE the VICTOR OVER THAT WHICH COMES TO TEMPT! Rebuke it! No matter how many times it takes! You must confess your Vicotry and STrength in Christ Holy Spirit! Speak it out-loud! Find scriptures that speak of God's strength and truth! Speak them out-loud! It IS a battle of spirits and principalities. Think abou that! Only by the "Word" of God through Christ Jesus Holy Spirit IN you, in use by you, can there be the Victory! God grants you the grace to USE HIS WORD FOR YOUR BATTLE! Not grace to commit sin! The Grace is HIS POWER working through Christ Holy Spirit IN you, working Through you to Victory! OVERCOME! He who overcomes. You can't do it on your own! You mUST rely on the Word of God through Christ Jesus Holy Spirit living IN and Through you! No other way! You are weak without that Grace given to you...IN USE. God's grace is of no avail IF you don't take His Word and USE IT AS YOUR OWN! When the taunting/temptor comes RUN to the Word of God, IT IS YOUR Weapon! READ! Ephesians 6:11-20


.

 

[Vic C.]

Please be considerate to the fact that this IS a Christian Site with young teens reading and post accordingly. I had to either edit or delete posts due to their content being a bit too "graphic". Also lets refrain from straying from the OP.

Thanks,
Vic

 

[JoshuaGeneration]

I'm not saying it's easy, but biblically premarital sex is an absolute no. It damages us and God knows it, that's why we are not to have it before marriage.

When we have sex before marriage (and that means doing anything sexual, not just intercourse) we are creating ungodly soul-ties between ourselves and the other person. These soul-ties are immensely destructive emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Also, they allow the enemy to send further spiritual destruction and harm into your life if these soul-ties are not broken. Ungodly soul-ties also invite further things to come and dwell within you because of spiritual defilement, so it's not something to take lightly. Also, it prevents us from fully walking with the Lord and puts a distance between us and Him. We are not to be condemned but we do need to acknowledge these soul-ties, repent of our participation, ask for forgiveness and finally pray in the name of Jesus Christ for them to be broken. You are then spirtually a virgin again; God wants us to be pure for our own good and so that we can enjoy sex as it should be: a gift in marriage which forms a Godly soul-tie.

It may be good to have another Christian (who understands these things)to pray with you/over you in order to break any soul-tie.

 

[OnFireForChrist]

I have personal experience in this subject--I had a boyfriend of up 'til 8 months who I broke up with last month because I felt he was not only tearing me away from God, but also me from myself. I won't go into details for fear of being graphic, but the point is I felt used. I felt my soul die--he wanted my body and not what was best for my soul. It really destroyed the relationship we had, and I was too afraid to say anything about it and end the relationship until last month. I'm still "technically" a virgin, but I don't feel like I deserve to be called a "virgin" at all anymore. Thankfully, God is good, and with time, I'll heal from the scars left behind and I'll learn to love again--but more wisely and without compromising myself.

Lust, fornication, adultery, ANY sexual immorality focuses on the body to the exclusion of the spirit--in a way, it is murder, because it seeks the body at the expense of the spirit. These sins only seek self-indulgence in sensation. Beyond that, these sins open the door to MORE sins, such as slothfulness (basically spiritual laziness/boredom), anger (hatred towards the one who abused you and took you for granted), etc. Those sins sprout more sins, such as doubt in God simply because you're afraid to admit you've sinned. The wages of sin is death. That is what sin manifests--death, spiritually, and when the spirit suffers, the entire person suffers.

I would say that sex before marriage does not manifest self-sacrificing love, nor does it manifest a healthy love that needs sensual pleasure. Married life requires discipline and perseverence and patience, all things that come from God's graces; premarital sex takes couples away from God, and therefore away from those graces, making the relationship even more difficult to bear with than if God was with them.

My opinion, then, is that premarital sex spells nothing but unhappiness and trouble.

 

[J6o7h8n3]

I have alot in common with this issue. Being sexually active makes it difficult to abstain from sexual activities whether it be with yourself or a partner. I was with a girl for about 1-1/2 years and we were engaged. At the start of the relationship we both made a commitment to each other to never have sex until we were married. We sure held off for quite a bit of time and eventually we both gave in. Come to think about it, our relationship used to be real good before we had sex. It was after sex that our relationship started to go downhill. I also worked an on call truck driving job so it did not help any bit with a relationship, but for the most part it was still good....before sex that was. Being engaged and feeling everything was going good made me start to think what can go wrong? I gave myself to this girl and she gave herself to me as we were both virgins before sex thinking we will always be together. It really goes to show you cannot ever rely on anything whether it be people or material things of the world, but the only thing you can rely on having forever is God. I never thought I could ever lose her. After sex things became much different and we finally realized how very different we were. Finally she began to stop calling me and act differently around me so I called her on it and she basically told me she doesnt know about us anymore. I sorta ended our relationship casually because she no longer knew about me anymore. She wants absolutely nothing to do with me anymore and says she only remembers bad things about our relationship even though we had good times... I just dont get it. Anyways, I was for sure about her and wanted to work things out right after our breakup, but she moved on and said we were just to different, plus what really hurt was I think she also found another guy over the internet who was non christian which made her start to stop calling me because she became interested in him. It breaks my heart in two ways. I lost the love I honestly thought I was suppose to be with, somebody I have never felt so at ease and comfortable around, and most importantly I did something I told God I would never do. This story of my life basically shows two things. We as humans are no good at our promises and the second thing being that we can never rely on anything to always be around no matter how good it seems.......except for God. Aside from whatever issues we were having in our relationship, one thing saddens me the most about not having a focused relationship with God during our engagement and that is I put her at risk as far as her spiritual walk by performing sexual activities with her. I would never want to put myself or a loved one in a sinful position before God, which I did. I could of said not but my body was too weak. During the relationship I lost sight of God and my walk with him. I have recently took another step with him and have renewed my lost relationship which is the best part about me and my ex's breakup, since this life is vanity anyways. Please pray for my healing, its been over a month but I still often times feel very blue. My only advice to anybody who has been tempted about giving in is to hold off from pre-marital sex, it can destroy a relationship, it can destroy your relationship with God and in the end you may end up left with nothing and heartbroken and now......I wont be that Virgin for my future Wife if God so has one planned for me. Nothing is permanent, except for God.

 

[OnFireForChrist]

I have alot in common with this issue. Being sexually active makes it difficult to abstain from sexual activities whether it be with yourself or a partner. I was with a girl for about 1-1/2 years and we were engaged. At the start of the relationship we both made a commitment to each other to never have sex until we were married. We sure held off for quite a bit of time and eventually we both gave in. Come to think about it, our relationship used to be real good before we had sex. It was after sex that our relationship started to go downhill. I also worked an on call truck driving job so it did not help any bit with a relationship, but for the most part it was still good....before sex that was. Being engaged and feeling everything was going good made me start to think what can go wrong? I gave myself to this girl and she gave herself to me as we were both virgins before sex thinking we will always be together. It really goes to show you cannot ever rely on anything whether it be people or material things of the world, but the only thing you can rely on having forever is God. I never thought I could ever lose her. After sex things became much different and we finally realized how very different we were. Finally she began to stop calling me and act differently around me so I called her on it and she basically told me she doesnt know about us anymore. I sorta ended our relationship casually because she no longer knew about me anymore. She wants absolutely nothing to do with me anymore and says she only remembers bad things about our relationship even though we had good times... I just dont get it. Anyways, I was for sure about her and wanted to work things out right after our breakup, but she moved on and said we were just to different, plus what really hurt was I think she also found another guy over the internet who was non christian which made her start to stop calling me because she became interested in him. It breaks my heart in two ways. I lost the love I honestly thought I was suppose to be with, somebody I have never felt so at ease and comfortable around, and most importantly I did something I told God I would never do. This story of my life basically shows two things. We as humans are no good at our promises and the second thing being that we can never rely on anything to always be around no matter how good it seems.......except for God. Aside from whatever issues we were having in our relationship, one thing saddens me the most about not having a focused relationship with God during our engagement and that is I put her at risk as far as her spiritual walk by performing sexual activities with her. I would never want to put myself or a loved one in a sinful position before God, which I did. I could of said not but my body was too weak. During the relationship I lost sight of God and my walk with him. I have recently took another step with him and have renewed my lost relationship which is the best part about me and my ex's breakup, since this life is vanity anyways. Please pray for my healing, its been over a month but I still often times feel very blue. My only advice to anybody who has been tempted about giving in is to hold off from pre-marital sex, it can destroy a relationship, it can destroy your relationship with God and in the end you may end up left with nothing and heartbroken and now......I wont be that Virgin for my future Wife if God so has one planned for me. Nothing is permanent, except for God.

I'm so sorry. : : I will pray for you. I know exactly how that feels. When my ex and I started doing pre-marital activities, that's when our relationship really went downhill, and I went away from God for a while. It's been 3 months for me since then, and it still hurts. : I thought I wanted to marry him at the beginning, but not anymore. And he won't talk to me, either.

 

[J6o7h8n3]

I'm so sorry. I will pray for you. I know exactly how that feels. When my ex and I started doing pre-marital activities, that's when our relationship really went downhill, and I went away from God for a while. It's been 3 months for me since then, and it still hurts. I thought I wanted to marry him at the beginning, but not anymore. And he won't talk to me, either.

Im sorry to hear about your experience also, but in both our situations it may be for the best. I can feel your pain. Just know there are good guys out there as I constantly remind myself there are good women even though it seems so impossible. God knows our hearts and he will provide for us. It seems so hard to think about it I cry, but its the truth. I will pray for you also. It makes me feel not so alone anymore that somebody else is having the same problem, and do remind yourself that you are not alone either and that I am going through this too. Sometimes we often feel so alone and that nobody else have these problems, but your walking by my side sister and many other people too. I also messaged her today and she still said no more chance in the future, so its helping some now knowing that there is no hope for us and I can finally let go completely as I held on to a little bit of hope ever since we broke up that we could be together again. I think letting go completely helps, but its very hard to do if you are so easily attached like I can be. Anyways its important to give up the things we loved the most to be back with God. *gives big hug over internet*.