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Sex is an obligation(?)

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counseling is not anything I personally would do. Counseling is based on human views, psychology, secular resolution. I'd pray, read the scripture together, discuss it with humility as christians. The disobedient partner should submit to the Lord in this. There is no other answer.
There are some good Christian counselors. Churches in larger areas often work with them.
 
There are some good Christian counselors. Churches in larger areas often work with them.
Ok then. But not for me. Counseling is a secular form of confession, evolved from it. I am a recording Catholic. Must limit my repentance and my confessions to God. In my situation that is best.
 
James 5
16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
 
Many Christians worry about marriage, money, people, health, terrorism, and economic conditions. God says, "The antidote to worry is me being FIRST". Of all the problems we face, you name the category, to live in perpetual defeat over it, you must ask the question, "Have I addressed God FIRST"? God says, "I want to be FIRST". "Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God". If that is missing, then you have just identified the cause of everything else that's wrong.

God says, "the reason why you are shook up and worried is 'cause I'm not FIRST, SO YOU GET TO TAKE CARE OF YOU'!

"The priority of the Kingdom" is imperative. Because if you miss what's first it doesn't matter what else you do. You've lost the foundation.

"Seek Ye First" gives you light from God, so that you know which way to go, which way to turn, which way to move, which way to act, which way to think, which way to walk, which way to talk, which way to relate. You know what to do because the light is shining. You lose that perspective, no wonder you're running into things, tripping over things, falling over things, because that which is light is now dark and you can't see.

Yes, we acknowledge Him, yes we reference Him, but that's not sufficient for Him. He wants FIRST! That includes your tithes and offerings (tithe means 10% gross income when you get paid).

This is how many Christians fall from grace by not making God first and operate by human wisdom. Once you leave the Cross to fix the problem...on your best day all you can do is patch it up! You cannot fix it. Because only the Cross deals with sin.



 
Men on the other hand can always work on their courting skills. Women are not blind to romantic gestures and true love.

To me this seems to be the crux of it. Who could have fun if it was initiated with a demand? If the wife has a lower libido than the man, he shouldn't demand it but rather turn up the heat. IME, good sex at night begins in the morning. Women are very cerebral creatures and it's essentially all mental for them so the man should approach her with this is mind conjuring up all of of his courting skills that he used when first trying to win her over to him. I was married 26 years and that always worked for me. Being romantic to her isn't hard, it just takes the effort. Women are hard wired to respond to certain things, so knowing that, it should be taken advantage of. It's also very pleasing to the woman. If you love your wife then it's necessary to feed them your love. Romanticism based on love is almost unable to resist, because love is the most powerful force in the universe.

Sometimes, women hide their libido, having been programmed that it is bad somehow. It's the husbands duty to know this and not make the mistake of depriving them on the thought that she doesn't want to, or has a low libido. If you deprive your wife, then you may just be giving her a stumbling block and making it hard for her to resist temptation. If she ever cheats on you, you will have to ask yourself the question of did you contribute to it by depriving her?
 
Many Christians worry about marriage, money, people, health, terrorism, and economic conditions. God says, "The antidote to worry is me being FIRST". Of all the problems we face, you name the category, to live in perpetual defeat over it, you must ask the question, "Have I addressed God FIRST"? God says, "I want to be FIRST". "Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God". If that is missing, then you have just identified the cause of everything else that's wrong.

God says, "the reason why you are shook up and worried is 'cause I'm not FIRST, SO YOU GET TO TAKE CARE OF YOU'!

"The priority of the Kingdom" is imperative. Because if you miss what's first it doesn't matter what else you do. You've lost the foundation.

"Seek Ye First" gives you light from God, so that you know which way to go, which way to turn, which way to move, which way to act, which way to think, which way to walk, which way to talk, which way to relate. You know what to do because the light is shining. You lose that perspective, no wonder you're running into things, tripping over things, falling over things, because that which is light is now dark and you can't see.

Yes, we acknowledge Him, yes we reference Him, but that's not sufficient for Him. He wants FIRST! That includes your tithes and offerings (tithe means 10% gross income when you get paid).

This is how many Christians fall from grace by not making God first and operate by human wisdom. Once you leave the Cross to fix the problem...on your best day all you can do is patch it up! You cannot fix it. Because only the Cross deals with sin.
Meeting Specific Needs
Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. James 5:13 NIV
 
iLOVE do you eat food? Do you shower... Are your clothes laundered... If you have lawn do you mow it... Do you put gas in the car if you have one? if you do things small things and others of the like Why.? Just pray about it.. dont bother to shower just pray ... dont eat just pray... Do you get the idea? These holier then thou post you make come across as unreal.. they do not show love for your neighbour ... they sound like a brass Pharisee ...

2.4: No Trolling. Do not make an inflammatory remark just to get a response. Address issues not personalities. Respect where people are in their spiritual walk, and respect all others in general. Respect where others are in their spiritual walk, do not disrupt the flow of discussion or act in a way that affects others negatively including when debating doctrinal issues, in the defense of the Christian faith, and in offering unwelcome spiritual advice.
 
God says, "the reason why you are shook up and worried is 'cause I'm not FIRST, SO YOU GET TO TAKE CARE OF YOU'!
I do not THINK that I am taking you out of context when I say that you are wrong, or at least, not always right - here.

I was shook up and worried. I was stressed out so bad I was not sleeping and when I DID sleep, my dreams were dreadful, all about growing old and poor and alone.

But I am no longer that way - I moved to where my living expenses are 1/2 of what they were. I am now saving almost 1/3 of my income - and I'm not stressed any more. Sure, you COULD say that God gave me the wisdom to make the change. But I had to ACT, God did not make all things easy and nice for me. I no longer have a garage for my precious car - oh the horrors!

I have a real problem (and it is not just YOUR fault, it is the entire Christian ghetto), with this 'teaching' (and it may be unintentional) that if you pray and seek God, He will make all things fine for you. Your mistakes, your selfishness, your materialistic lifestyle - none of those things will matter if you "let God be God" - cause He will fix everything.

Im directing my post at you, but truthfully, it is not YOU, it is "all of you", all of 'you' who teach this awful theology.
 
Im directing my post at you, but truthfully, it is not YOU, it is "all of you", all of 'you' who teach this awful theology.

I agree with iLOVE. Sex is a spiritual thing. It is not just something you have to do (like brushing your teeth). People have been posting scripture about not depriving your mate....this is spiritual. Does God care if you have sex with your spouse? Obviously there is a purpose to it besides procreation. Sometimes it is to be selfless, sometimes it is to bring happiness to your partner.

The reason I can be a good partner for my husband, is I put God first.
 
I do not THINK that I am taking you out of context when I say that you are wrong, or at least, not always right - here.

I was shook up and worried. I was stressed out so bad I was not sleeping and when I DID sleep, my dreams were dreadful, all about growing old and poor and alone.

But I am no longer that way - I moved to where my living expenses are 1/2 of what they were. I am now saving almost 1/3 of my income - and I'm not stressed any more. Sure, you COULD say that God gave me the wisdom to make the change. But I had to ACT, God did not make all things easy and nice for me. I no longer have a garage for my precious car - oh the horrors!

I have a real problem (and it is not just YOUR fault, it is the entire Christian ghetto), with this 'teaching' (and it may be unintentional) that if you pray and seek God, He will make all things fine for you. Your mistakes, your selfishness, your materialistic lifestyle - none of those things will matter if you "let God be God" - cause He will fix everything.

Im directing my post at you, but truthfully, it is not YOU, it is "all of you", all of 'you' who teach this awful theology.

Good post. :thumbsup
.
 
I agree with iLOVE. Sex is a spiritual thing. It is not just something you have to do (like brushing your teeth). People have been posting scripture about not depriving your mate....this is spiritual. Does God care if you have sex with your spouse? Obviously there is a purpose to it besides procreation. Sometimes it is to be selfless, sometimes it is to bring happiness to your partner.

The reason I can be a good partner for my husband, is I put God first.
I do not disagree with anything you just said. I do not retract what I said, but I do not disagree with a word you typed.
 
Do you agree with this statement?:
"In a marriage your spouse owes you sex. What you can't do is demand it from them."
True? Not so true? Needs a little adjustment or explanation?
Release the lions! :lol

I *wish* my husband would demand that from me. But the only thing he demands is that I wash his coffee pot every night. Health issues- he needs to lose weight. *sigh* Oh well, he's still a good kisser though!
 
I do not THINK that I am taking you out of context when I say that you are wrong, or at least, not always right - here.

I was shook up and worried. I was stressed out so bad I was not sleeping and when I DID sleep, my dreams were dreadful, all about growing old and poor and alone.

But I am no longer that way - I moved to where my living expenses are 1/2 of what they were. I am now saving almost 1/3 of my income - and I'm not stressed any more. Sure, you COULD say that God gave me the wisdom to make the change. But I had to ACT, God did not make all things easy and nice for me. I no longer have a garage for my precious car - oh the horrors!

I have a real problem (and it is not just YOUR fault, it is the entire Christian ghetto), with this 'teaching' (and it may be unintentional) that if you pray and seek God, He will make all things fine for you. Your mistakes, your selfishness, your materialistic lifestyle - none of those things will matter if you "let God be God" - cause He will fix everything.

Im directing my post at you, but truthfully, it is not YOU, it is "all of you", all of 'you' who teach this awful theology.
I despise that teaching. I get told that I over think things and to simply believe. I do that. yet at time it is me, and I do have to let go. other times its a matter of when god will change things , sometimes he doesn't and lets us suffer for his reason.
 
I agree with iLOVE. Sex is a spiritual thing. It is not just something you have to do (like brushing your teeth). People have been posting scripture about not depriving your mate....this is spiritual. Does God care if you have sex with your spouse? Obviously there is a purpose to it besides procreation. Sometimes it is to be selfless, sometimes it is to bring happiness to your partner.

The reason I can be a good partner for my husband, is I put God first.
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