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Shy guy help with attractive Lady.

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God-Centered

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Cool story I am happy for you. I'd say don't overthink yourself. You can't really get away with playing it cool or going about it a way a guy with more experience would. Use your newfound confidence to your advantage. Get with her and let yourself feel attracted and nervous (don't block it out) and be authentic and flirt with her directly. It will give your interaction energy but you have to hang in there and feel everything. Then take it as slow as you can since in your head she is already your wife before the first date! I'd share how shy you are while at the same time being bold with her. Don't bail out and even say something like wow I can't think of anything to say but I really want to get to know you. Not as a line just an example of you being able to handle the energy of the interaction without freaking out. Good luck man and please update. Stay present with her and don't bail. Have fun.
 
Gordon said:
Cool story I am happy for you. I'd say don't overthink yourself. You can't really get away with playing it cool or going about it a way a guy with more experience would. Use your newfound confidence to your advantage. Get with her and let yourself feel attracted and nervous (don't block it out) and be authentic and flirt with her directly. It will give your interaction energy but you have to hang in there and feel everything. Then take it as slow as you can since in your head she is already your wife before the first date! I'd share how shy you are while at the same time being bold with her. Don't bail out and even say something like wow I can't think of anything to say but I really want to get to know you. Not as a line just an example of you being able to handle the energy of the interaction without freaking out. Good luck man and please update. Stay present with her and don't bail. Have fun.
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awesome, thanks for your advice! I will update :)
 
If this is the wife that God prepared for you, then it is certainly meant to be! That means know matter what you say (to an extent) can ruin you two being together, so don't be nervous and have fun when interacting with her! Please update us as well :)
 
If you dont want to be stuck in that good guy friendship role,you may want to just bite the bullet and ask her out.It doesnt have to be anything major,ask her what shes doing after church one day/evening for lunch/dinner.If she already happens to have plans then no biggie..see if shes free the following week at some point.If shes interested shell take the bait.Just from what youre saying about her starting to open up and such its likely she does have some degree of curiosity about you.

Just remember though..if things for whatever reason dont work out then you have the satisfaction of knowing you tried.What didnt work out is always easier to sleep on than lying awake wondering what if.
 
Hey God-Centered, let me just give you some advices here. First, and want to say that it's very nice of you to want to be a servant of the Lord and following Jesus in every step of your life. Living this way, as expected, you look for a godly girl that will help you with the task. This is a very beautiful picture. As God wants and created the woman as a man's helper.

Now, we must talk about some issues on what you've posted. First, this COULD be your wife. But remember, she also might not be... God prepares for us principles and not A person that will be revealed as spouse immediately. Learn about her. Search for the biblical principles in her life. Get to know her before anything. You can do it asking her out to talk as friends and living at the church community together. You don't need to date her to do it.

Also, "God centered, A genuine real Lady not posh, Nice, Kind, Caring, loves children, sense of humor, loves music as much as i do, sense of style in clothing and pretty" it's not as specific as you think. Generally, everyone look for this, in different ways and likes and dislikes - this is beautiful, for God called every nation, every culture, etc. to sing of His glory. But remember some of those things are not essential for God. :)

One more thing: contextualize better "anything is possible with you Jesus". Paul, in Phillipians was talking about being able to live with much, but also living with lack of material things. With Christ, we can have and don't have. With Christ, we can have spouses or not. We must understand how to hear God and seek first for His will.

If it's God's will, you'll know this girl and you'll be able to glorify God with a marriage. If not, do not be down. Pray and continue with your very first purpose: to serve Lord, following Jesus and living for His glory.

Sorry for the bad english.

Take care. God bless you.
 
God-Centered said:
I would really like some advice from other Christians how can I get closer to her
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First sincerely try to be her friend.
God-Centered said:
without becoming stuck as a friend
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Then ask her out.

Further Explanation

In the highly like event that she isn't already head over heels for you (sorry dude), you will seem creepy for asking her out. Please strive as much as possible to reduce the chances of you appearing creepy. It would be better for everyone. (All 7 billion of us.)

If you become her friend first, you guys will get to know each other better and be more comfortable with each other. This makes it easier to ask her out. (Note I said easier not easy. It's never easy.)

Clarification: When I say "sincerely", I mean don't just try to manipulate your way into dating her. Find a legitimate reason to take interest in a platonic relationship. (If you don't value her as a friend, then you don't value her period.) When I say "try", I mean she might not want to be your friend and that's up to her to decide that. (If you don't respect her choices, she will never choose to be with you.)

The possible outcomes of you asking her out are:

  • She turns you down and you stop being friends - Highly unlikely, but even so you're no worse off than you are now.
  • She turns you down and you remain friends - Yay! You have a new friend! Praise God or something.
  • She accepts and you start dating - Also yay! More praising and such.
Even if she turns you down (and frankly she probably will), you still get the benefits of having a friend, being a friend, and knowing what her feelings are rather than wondering.


Additional Unrelated Comments


God-Centered said:
sadly I hardly have any experience with girls
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Everyone thinks that at some point in life. Some people complain about it when they're 14 :grumpy

The important thing to remember is the tired old adage "quality over quantity". Of course, no one (especially me) remembers that ever. *proceeds to whine about crappy love-life*



God-Centered said:
I was extremely shy with everyone up until 3 months ago...I'm telling you it's nothing short of a miracle that God has turned my Life around :) I still have some issues that God is helping me deal with and fixing in me, but now I can actually greet people, talk(but mostly listen) to people while looking at them in their eye's and join in some of the fun if I am not to stressed out by the experience
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I had a similar experience in high school: no talking, no eye contact, social anxiety, fidgeting, the whole enchilada. I know how tough it was (and still is) to break out of my shell, so massive kudos to you for being proactive about your shyness! Your new-found confidence and excellent listening skills will come in handy for your friendship.


Good luck! I believe in you!
 
I would like to give some advice.
When it comes to close relationships with the opposite gender and about potential marriage partners, guidance from God is necessary. You have to be absolutely sure that the relationship is within God's will for your life. In 1 Corinthians 13:4 says that love is patient. Time is your friend. Search God's will earnestly, for this is a very important decision in your life.
 
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