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All-For-God

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"Being Single.....A Gift From God"

Unfortunately, many people think that their lives will be complete once they find that "special someone" and that they won't be content or happy until they have someone to share their lives with. But we need to remember that while marriage is a gift from God, so is singleness. The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:8 that, "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am." Even Jesus Himself (who was, by the way, single), said that, "For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 19:11-12)

There are many wonderful things that you can find being single:

FREEDOM
There are many things that you can do as a single person that you can not do when you are married, such as:

1. Travel by themselves. A single person can travel on their own and go where they want to go and since you're single, it's also cheaper!

2. You can cook only what you like to eat!

3. You can hang out as much as you want with the opposite sex, by yourself, without someone else getting jealous.

4. You can spend money on what you want and you can spend as much as you'd like. When married, you have to take the other person into consideration and share your money with them.

5. You can watch the TV shows that you want to watch.

6. You can stay out and come home as late as you want to and not worry about having to call.

7. You can quit your job if you don't like it.

8. You can move if you choose to.

9. You can sleep in if you don't want to get up.

10. You don't have to clean your home or do the dishes until you feel like it.

11. You can go to the church you want to go to. When married, you both have to decide and agree on which church you'll worship at together. Sounds easy, but what if he wants to stay at his church and she wants to stay at hers?!

DEVELOPE YOUR GIFTS
If you're going to be single at all, you may as well do something with yourself! Is there an instrument you always wanted to learn? Are there any courses (singing, dancing, acting, painting, cooking, etc) that you always wanted to try? If so, then go for it! Are you good at writing stories or poetry? Then write your first book or try and publish your poetry! Ever wanted to be in a play? Then go an audition for one. Ever wanted to learn how to swim, do gymnastics, or play another sport? Then give it a shot! Ever wanted to travel? Well, if you have the money, then go do it and if you don't, save up some money and then pack your bags and go! Ever wanted to try a missionary trip? Then get the information and do it!

My point is this.....We all probably have things that we've always wanted to do, so why not use the free time that God has given you to try it! God has given each of us gifts so why not ask Him what your gift is. Then ask Him to help you develop it. By doing so, you could be on your way to a wonderful career, or you could just be on your way to helping others and in the process, having a fulfilling life. Do you want to be 80 years old and thinking, "if only I had done this" or "I wonder what would have happened if I had tried that?" I don't think so! So get up right now and start to develop yourself!

Many try to fulfil their emptiness through a relationship with another human being, but only Jesus Christ can fill that void in your life. If you try to fill it through someone else, other then Him, it'll blow up in your face! You'll probably wind up with someone who has enough problems of his/her own and if neither of you look to Jesus for help.....WATCH OUT!

WHAT GOD WANTS FOR US ALL
God wants you to be content with Him FIRST! He wants you to give yourself totally and completely to Him. He will never put someone in your life until you learn to have a personal, loving relationship with Him first. He wants you to stop planning your life without Him, stop chasing after other kids of relationships, and stop wishing that you had someone else to love and who will love you. He has an awesome plan for your life and in order to have it, you can not go through life wishing for something or someone else. You have to stop and seek a relationship with God before anything else.

Ask Him to show you His plan for you and stop trying to find fulfilment with other people or things. God wants you to stop thinking, "I wish I had this or that," or "look at what my friends have." Keep your eyes on God. If you don't you'll miss what He wants to show you. If you stay focused on God, He'll surprise you with someone so wonderful and special when you least expect it. You'll find yourself saying, "this is too good to be true. This person is so much more wonderful then I ever imagined a person could be. I can't believe that someone like this exists and that God saved them for me." God is working right now to prepare you both for one another and until you are both content with Him and Him alone, you will never meet. So stop wishing and start trusting in God.

"BUT MY FRIENDS ARE..... "
Even if all of your friends are dating, remember this: if they don't have Jesus in their lives and in their relationship and if they are trying to do everything their way, then they'll wind up either: having an unhappy relationship (even if they're trying to convince themselves that they're happy, they're probably not) and therefore they'll have an unhappy, unfulfilling life; or they'll get married and wind up divorced (or in a long lasting, miserable marriage); or they'll eventually break up either way, and move on to another unhappy relationship. In other words.....a relationship without Christ = a miserable experience. Just do what Psalm 27:14 says and, "Wait on the Lord."

REASONS TO DATE:

It's perfectly okay to just date different people and not have a relationship with just one person. Here are some good reasons to just date:

1. To Develop Friendships

2. To have fun

3. To learn and understand the opposite sex

4. To learn how to share your life with someone else

5. To overcome your shyness and learn to be around other people.

You should date only those who know how to deal with their problems and who find strength in Christ. Never bring baggage into a relationship and then expect the other person to deal with it or solve it for you. Date those who you have similarly interests with and who also shares your same habits.

Don't date those with bad tempers, who smoke anything, swear, or do drugs. And if you're looking for a marriage partner, it's a good idea to agree on how to raise children.

Don't marry someone if either of you have bills to pay off or if your parents have to continually give you money. When you marry, you should be able to buy your own food, pay your own rent, pay your own bills, etc.

DON'T DATE A JEALOUS PERSON
In a relationship, you should trust one another. If your partner constantly needs to know where you are, who you're with, who you talked to, and if they don't like you wearing make up, leaving the house, or having friends, do NOT marry them! Please do not think that things will eventually get better if you stay with them or marry them and don't think you can change them. Only God can do that and until they turn to Him for help, do not date or marry them! If you do, you'll probably wind up on some talk show one day, talking about how horrible your marriage is!

WRONG REASONS TO MARRY
1. Social or Family Pressure
2. Pregnancy
3. Escape or rebellion
4. Lonliness
5. Physical Appearance
6. Guilt or pity
7. "I don't want to hurt his or her feelings"

WHAT LOVE IS:
"If I speak in the tongues of men, and of angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude or self-seeking; it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perserveres. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:1
 
Marriage is a business...the purpose is solely for procreation.

I have no interest in furthering the human race...so I'll never marry. Women are ok, but not to live with for any extended amount of time.
 
Obviously the folks on this thread have never fallen madly in love...you have to experience it to understand it.
 
Totentanz said:
Marriage is a business...the purpose is solely for procreation.

a rather narrow-minded look at marriage wouldn't u say?

Totentanz said:
I have no interest in furthering the human race...so I'll never marry.

u don't have to have kids if u get married

Totentanz said:
Women are ok, but not to live with for any extended amount of time.

each to his/her own, but u'd never know unless u'd tried... but, that said, a difficult thing to try marriage cos it not something u go into experimenting? What are u basing your "not to live with for any extended amount of time" statement on just out of interest sake?
 
There is no reason to attach magical, romantic properties to marriage and procreation. If that's what you're into, then GO FOR IT.

I don't need a woman to clean up after me. Marriage, among other things, is a stricture imposed on us by society. In reality it's nothing. Sometimes I have little romantic ideals as well...but they fade in 20 minutes! If I followed every little fleeting impulse in my mind I wouldn't be alive and able to post these little messages for you.
 
Lakesider said:
Obviously the folks on this thread have never fallen madly in love...you have to experience it to understand it.

completely agree... comments like "it's great to be single" usually come from those that have never experienced a true love (again, something u can't explain - u have to experience it) or who have been "burnt" in the past
 
Maybe I've never experienced insanity...but that doesn't mean I'm missing out on anything important.

I have other things that I'm trying to accomplish in my life and a lifelong companion would just get in the way. If this isn't your situation then go ahead and pursue those wonderful Woody Allenian sentimentalities.
 
All-For-God said:
Unfortunately, many people think that their lives will be complete once they find that "special someone" and that they won't be content or happy until they have someone to share their lives with.

yes, this is the most unfortunate thing cos many people go out looking for it... it's not something u can earnestly find (at least I believe)... it's something that finds u when u least expect it, and I'm not talking about an actual person seeking you out... you have to be content and happy in your life before that love finds you
 
Totentanz, I think you are missing the validity of companianship and a "help mate." These things are valuable and just as God leads us into situations where we can be helpful, He also can lead us to a person who we will spend the rest of our lives with - partners in the journey. Marriage can be a business, some people are that way, but I can tell you that marriage should be a bonding relationship, of which you share everything. Some never marry and that's fine, but let's not dismiss the value of marriage as both a stable institution for raising children and a partnership to assist two people in love throughout life.

BL
 
Marriage is fine...but not for me and many other people I know.
 
I believe God has called some people to be single and I do not, nor ever will judge them or look down on them for that. That would be just plain stupid. I do think it is important to bring up the point that it is ok to be single because too many rush into marriage thinking that is what they should do. Maybe God has set some of them aside as He did Paul but they assumed they had to get married because "everyone else is doing it". Then they have missed God's higher plan for them.

However, God also calls some of us to be married and he set the marriage relationship up for more than just for the purpose of procreation. There is a lot of symbolism in the relationship of a married couple who has God as their center. We are the "bride" of Christ. To look down on those who marry as being weak is pretty darn lame.

Another thing, just like marriage is more than procreation, even sex in marriage is more than for the purpose of having kids, if it was only for that, why did He make it so enjoyable? A healthy physical relationship draws us even closer to our spouse in more than just the physical and I thank God for that gift He has blessed us with.
 
He made it so enjoyable because he knows that people would think twice about doing it if it wasn't. :lol:
 
I agree 100% with All for God and Tote's original posts. Singleness is INDEED a gift from God, and when I sit in this office 5/8 and hear all the junk from the married and the cohabitating, I thank the Lord every day for this gift.
 
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