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[__ Prayer __] Sister back in the Hospital

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Oh, pizzaguy, my heart goes out to you and your sister. I hadn't followed this thread until today, and it breaks my heart that Deb has to suffer this way.

I'm not going to be one of Job's friends and make all kinds of explanations about God's purpose and why things are the way they are, we simply can't understand why some suffer this way and others don't. But please know that you have a lot of Christian brothers and sisters thinking of you and praying for you, and your family.
 
My heart and prayers go out to you. I will most definately be involved in this thread from here on out! I have never experienced your pain and I wont lie that I have. But my prayers ARE with you. My heart IS there. And my MIND is in it. I hope things get better with her and pray that you get your job. (I am told when you get the interview you usually already have the job.) Suffering happens. And when you stay strong in the faith throughout. You are truely glorifying god and showing his true power. Take a moment to read this chapter from Max Lucados "Its not about me".

There is a story, Martin and Gracia Burnham married with mission work in their hearts. For seventeen years they served God in the Phillipines. With three children born on the missions field and valueble skills in the ministry's aviation program, they were acclimated and essential to the work. He, single-minded. She, gracious and convicted. Then why didn't God block the bullets? Why did he let her get shot? And why did God let him die?

On May 27, 2001, while celebrating their eighteenth wedding anniversary at a beachside resort, Martin and Gracia were taken hostage by a militant terrorist organization with ties to Ozama bin Laden. Captors chained the couple to guards, marched them through jungles, and rationed their food. They endured seventeen firefights and for over four hundred days were either running for their lives or bored. Their health deteriorated, but their faith remained sturdy."We might not leave this jungle alive." said Martin, "but at least we can leave this world serving the Lord with gladness. A premonition led Martin to write a farewell letter to his children. The premonition proved accurate. On June 7, 2002, Philippine Rangers attacked the terrorist camp, catching Martin and Gracia in the cross-fire. One bullet entered her leg. Another took his life. She was left a widow, and we are left to wonder why. Is this how God honors his chosen? How do you explain such a tragedy?
How do we explain this?
Maybe God messed up. Cancer cells crept into your DNA when he wasn't looking. He was so occupied with the tornado in Kansas that he forgot the famine in Uganda. He tried to change the stubborn steak in your spouse but just couldn't get him to budge. Honestly. A bumbling Creator? An absent-minded Maker? What evidence does Scripture provide to support such a view? What evidence does creation offer? Can't the Maker of heaven and earth handle bad traffic and prevent bad marriages? Of course he can. Then why doesn't he?
Perhaps he is mad. Have we so exhausted the mercy of God's bank account that every prayer bounces like a bad check? Did humanity cross the line milenniums ago, and now we're getting what we deserve? Such an argument carries a dash of truth. God does leave us to the consequences of our stupid decisions. Think Egyptian soldiers in the Red Sea, Hebrews in Babylon. Peter weeping with the sound of a crowing rooster in his ears. Bang your head against the wall, and expect a headache. God lets us endure the fruit of sin. But to label him peeved and impatient? To do so you need to scissor from your Bible some tender passages such as:

God is sheer mercy and grace;
not easily angerered, he's rich in love.
He doesn't endlessly nag and scold,
nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve.
nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
so strong is his love to those who fear him.
(Psalm 103 8-11 MSG)

Don't blame suffering in the world on the anger of God. He's not mad; he didn't mess up. Follow our troubles to their headwaters, and you wont find an angry or befuddled God. But you will find a sovereign God.Your pain has a purpose. Your problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end-the glory of God. "Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory" (Psalm 50:15 NLT).
Not an easy assignment to swallow. Not for you. Not for me. Not for the blind man on the side of the road. When Jesus and his followers passed him, the disciples had a question.

As He [Jesus] passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?" Jesus answered, " It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:1-3)

Born blind. A lifetime of darkness. Never saw a mother smile or a sunset fade. Who did this? the disciples wondered, anxious to blame someone. Such a bad plight can be traced back to a bad deed. Right?
Wrong, Jesus replied. Don't search the family tree. Don't request a copy of the man's rap sheet. Blame his blindness on a call from God. Why was the man sightless? So "the works of God might be displayed in him."
Odds are, he would have preferred another role in the human drama. Compared to others, his assignment held little glamour.
"Mary, be a mother to my son."
"Peter, you'll be my first preacher."
"Matthew, the first gospel? It's all yours."
"Then God turns to this man, "And you?"
" Yes, Lord?"
" You'll be blind for my glory."
" I'll be blind?"
" Yes "
"For your glory?"
"Yes."
" But I dont understand."
"You'll see."
The blind man wasn't the only candidate for a complaint. Consider the case of Martha and Mary. Personal friends of Jesus. Confidantes. He stayed at their house and ate at their table. And when their brother, Lazarus, became ill, the sisters blitzed a message to Jesus. If the Nazarene would heal anyone, it would be Lazarus.
Wrong again. "But when Jesus heard this, He said, "This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the son of god may be glorified by it"(John 11:4)
Feverish, clammy, knocking on the door of death-why? Because he ate the wrong food? Didn't guard his health? Drank too much? None of these. He was sick for the sake of God. Call it the assignment of sickness. How else do you explain the puzzle of the next two verses?
"Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was" (John 11:5-6)
Talk about a left turn. You'd expect the verse to read. "Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus... so he made a fast dash to their house to heal Lazarus."Just the opposite occured. Because Jesus loved the trio, he lingered until Lazarus died.
Blindness displays the works of Christ? Death glorifies the power of Christ? How can this be?
I'm looking around my office for an answer. A frame displays my favorite picture of Denalyn. A metal stand displays an antique pot. My brother gave me a stained glass windows from a country church. It is displayed by virtue of two wires and two hooks. Picture frames and metal stands, wires and hooks different tools, same job. They display treasures.
What these do for artifiacts, the blind man did for Christ. He was the frame in which Jesus power was seen, the stand upon which Jesus miracle was placed. Born sightless to display heaven's strength. Do you suppose the sight of his sight showcased the works of Christ?
And the fading pulse and final breath of Lazarus? You think the news of a three-days dead man walking out of a tomb amplified God's power?
And you? Now it gets a bit sticky. What about your struggles? Is there any chance, any posiibility, that you have been selected to struggle for God's glory? Have you "been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for his sake"(Phillipians 1:29)
Here is a clue. Do your prayers seem to be unanswered? What you request and what you recieve aren't matching up? Don't think God is not listening. Indeed he is. He may have higher plans.
Here is another. Are people strengthened by your struggles? A friend of mine can answer yes. His cancer was consuming more than his body; it was eating away at his faith. Unanswered petitions perplexed him. Well-meaning christians confused him. "If you have faith," they said, "you will be healed."
No healing came. Just more chemo, nausea, and questions. He assumed the fault was a small faith. I suggested another answer. "Its not about you," I told him. "Your hospital room is a showcase for your maker. Your faith in the face of suffering cranks up the volume of God's song."
Oh, that you could have seen the relief on his face. To know that he hadn't failed God and God hadn't failed him- this made all the difference. Seeing his sickness in the scope of God's sovereign plan gave his condition a sense of dignity. He accepted his cancer as an assignment from heaven: a missionary to the cancer ward. A week later I saw him again."I reflected God," he said, smiliing through a thin face, "to the nurses, the doctors, my friends. Who knows who needed to see God, but I did my best to make him seen."
Bingo. His cancer paraded the power of Jesus down the main street of his world. He, the blind man, Lazarus, and millions of others form a unique society: selected to suffer for God's glory. His light prisms through their aching lives and spills forth in a cascade of colors. God glimpses.
God will use whatever he wants to display his glory. Heavens and stars. History and nations. People and problems. A kidnapped couple in the phillipines. My dying dad in West Texas. The last three years of his life were scarred by ALS. The disease took him from a healthy mechanic to a bedbound paralytic. He lost his voice and his muscles, but he never lost his faith. Visitors noticed. Not so much in what he said but more in what he didn't say. Never outwardly angry or bitter, Jack Lucado suffered stately.
His faith led one man to seek a like faith. After the funeral this man sought me out and told me. Because of my dad's example, he became a Jesus follower.
Did God orchestrate my father's illness for that very reason? Knowing the value he places on one soul, I wouldn't be surprised. And imagining the splendor of heaven, I know my father's not complaining.
A season of suffering is a small assignment when compared to the reward.
Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all use it. Use it to the glory of God. Martin and Gracia did. During their captivity, they not only spoke of Jesus, they lived Jesus. Didn't complain. Did their work and volunteered for more. Chained every night to a guard, Martin always wished his captors a good night and told them about Jesus. The Burnhams allowed God to use their suffering for his glory.
Because of Martin's death, nations around the world heard the name of Christ. I heard the report on a London, England, news channel. Millions saw the forbearing figure of his wife and heard a moving interview with his father, who said God would get them through this. Every major network gave priceless minutes to the story of a man who loved Christ more than his life.
Through the Burnhams' struggle, God was seen.
Through Martins death, God was seen.
Through your problems and mine, may he be seen as well.

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I hope that helps and My heart and prayers are with you!
 
I know you all care and want my sister to see better times, as do I.

It is just so hard to watch this. Sometimes, I feel guilty when I have fun (knowing that Deb will never have fun again) and I often don't tell her of what I'm doing on weekends.
 
If you not having fun could heal your sister then dont have fun.. But we know it wont i doubt from the things you have said about Deb she would want to NOT live.

You have done well in being, a big, part of getting her son to face facts and step up...on occasion she may enjoy your adventures. Watching one of your videos .
 
If you not having fun could heal your sister then dont have fun...
That really does help... that statement alone helps. WHAT good would my NOT enjoying life do my sister? None.




(Some of my videos are REALLY BORING...)
 
When I can put into words the thoughts expressed in my phone conversation with her tonight, I'll post them.

I am thankful God has blessed me with good employment, nice home, nice car, fun times, WONDERFUL health (so far), etc.

I just can't make sense of her suffering so. It seems senseless, without meaning, etc.

I honestly wish sh'ed have an some kind of attack that takes her life quickly - even tho I know I'll be SO alone in this world should that happen - I want her to go on to the next life and be with the Lord.

Headed to bed...
 
Shared some what the same thoughts feelings about Daddy. You are not alone He will never leave us. Keep your eyes on Him and you'll stay above water like Peter
 
When I can put into words the thoughts expressed in my phone conversation with her tonight, I'll post them.

I am thankful God has blessed me with good employment, nice home, nice car, fun times, WONDERFUL health (so far), etc.

I just can't make sense of her suffering so. It seems senseless, without meaning, etc.

I honestly wish sh'ed have an some kind of attack that takes her life quickly - even tho I know I'll be SO alone in this world should that happen - I want her to go on to the next life and be with the Lord.

Headed to bed...
I am so sorry you are going through this emotional roller coaster. It sucks for you and her.

Recently I was thinking about what is suffering to us and what suffering might be viewed as eternally.


I wonder on the other side of life if we might view suffering as living till 90 and spending 20 years in a nursing home watching wheel of fortune and daytime TV all day.

Maybe those who live the shortest time are the truly lucky ones as they pass into something better sooner.

It is possible those of us with long lives are actually missing out on something better, and even though we think we are lucky that may not really be the case.

I hope that thought helps you a bit.
 
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I wonder on the other side of life if we might view suffering as living till 90 and spending 20 years in a nursing home watching wheel of fortune and daytime TV all day.
This is kinda what it's like for Debi, she is paralyzed from the waist down and has decreased manual dexterity. Her life is boring and empty and she struggles to keep her mind occupied. Her son just got her a new computer, which helps a lot.
She no longer has TV in her room and misses it a lot. But now, she has a room mate who goes to bed by 8 or so, so she can't watch TV anyway (and cant watch TV in the common room as the other patients watch nonsense and vile stuff she won't watch).

Maybe those who live the shortest time are the truly lucky ones as they pass into something better sooner.

It is possible those of us with long lives are actually missing out on something better, and even though we think we are lucky that may not really be the case.

I hope that thought helps you a bit.

I have believed this for some time! Debi has had such a strong will to live, more than I would.


But yesterday, she surprised me by talking about how her faith requires her to be buried, but since she has no cemetery plot, she must be cremated. This breaks her heart, but she's kinda over it. She told me of some other things she wants to have done after she's gone and told me of where her accounts and passwords are, etc.

The surprise was, that I think her will to live is about gone. In the past month, sh'es told me that her live is hell, and it is - I've known it for some time. I think that if she gets another infection, she's going to let it kill her.


She told me yesterday of some pain she is in, her right knee. Seems some of the therapy that the staff did was done incorrectly, she heard the ligament tear. But the injury does not meet "plan guidelines" so there will be no treatment for it. She says it's been a week, and the pain is going away. (She is on some kind of medacaid/medicare thing administered by Kaiser - she is receiving rationed healthcare). She said she knows they want her to die, to just go away, as she is a tremendous financial drain on the system, and I think she's getting ready to do that. She called me crying at work last week, says she's sick of fighting Kaiser, sick of fighting to get the staff to do her therapy right, sick of other patients eating the food her son and I buy her, sick of the owner of the home who has the IQ of a tennis shoe, sick of how warm it is in the home (she's right), sick of knowing that life will only get worse from now on.

I have never seen ANYTHING like this in my life. But again, had I been diasnosed with such a horrible condition in 1991, I'd have given up and died by now as well. Where there is no quality of life, there can be no will to keep living.

And I've already lost my sister - we no longer laugh together, mostly we talk about my work and then endlessly talk of her condition and struggles.

I'd like to move her in with me, but the amount of care she needs is so great - and it's getting greater. They use a hydralic lift to get her in and out of bed, she has a urinary catheter, etc.

Am I ok? Far from it. Am I better off than Debi? I think we all are, evne people dying of cancer can often laugh, enjoy life and have hope they will recover or die quickly. Debi has none of this, only misery and hopelessness.

And I know, there are no answers. I'm not here looking for any, gave up months ago myself.
 
Sorry, Pizza. I don't know why YOU, in particular, should go through all this...

It's way too dreadful now. T'is whole thing is becoming more and more sorrowful and agonising- horrfying.:sad

Time to let God do HIS wish.

One thing remains true: God knows about this problem...but the thing that gives me headache is knowing exactly what HE wants.
 
My headache is this question: Why my sister? What did Debi do/say/live/commit that brought this on? (I think I know - living with Debi can be hard, sh'es very intelligent but also not patient and believes her way is the only way. I think Frank got sick of that, and that's why he divorced her just when she needs him.)

And why am I so blessed with health and income and not her? (Now, I have walked with the Lord for 35 years and Debi for less than 20, but still....)



People have no idea how blessed they are. SOME of us really get a raw deal in this life. I know, 'cause my sister REALLY got a raw deal and I must say, I certainly did not. I really have little to complain about.
 
My headache is this question: Why my sister? What did Debi do/say/live/commit that brought this on? (I think I know - living with Debi can be hard, sh'es very intelligent but also not patient and believes her way is the only way. I think Frank got sick of that, and that's why he divorced her just when she needs him.)

And why am I so blessed with health and income and not her? (Now, I have walked with the Lord for 35 years and Debi for less than 20, but still....)



People have no idea how blessed they are. SOME of us really get a raw deal in this life. I know, 'cause my sister REALLY got a raw deal and I must say, I certainly did not. I really have little to complain about.

Do you think maybe you are giving yourself and/or your sister too much credit? You're speaking as if your sister was in a bad standing with God (or did something wrong) and THAT is why she is hurting; because God saw her do something, he's punishing her for it. God does not show partiality. Hurting happens to everyone, regardless of their standing with God. If you are to blame anything for your sister's hurting, blame the presence of sin in this world, not God.

The "Why Me?" or some variation of the question for someone we know is the classic question many Christians ask when things go wrong. I think we tend to believe that just because we do good or do what God wants (some of the time) that we are in good standing with God and that nothing bad should happen. AND IF something bad does happen to us, then we MUST have done something wrong. This is not how it works. Pizzaguy, I'm sure you know this, but being in the situation itself leads to this sort of questioning out of our nature I think...I don't know what you are going through exactly, but have had similar thoughts about issues in my own life.
 
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My headache is this question: Why my sister? What did Debi do/say/live/commit that brought this on? (I think I know - living with Debi can be hard, sh'es very intelligent but also not patient and believes her way is the only way. I think Frank got sick of that, and that's why he divorced her just when she needs him.)

And why am I so blessed with health and income and not her? (Now, I have walked with the Lord for 35 years and Debi for less than 20, but still....)



People have no idea how blessed they are. SOME of us really get a raw deal in this life. I know, 'cause my sister REALLY got a raw deal and I must say, I certainly did not. I really have little to complain about.
Have you considered one of her blessings is that you have good fortune and can share it with her in the form of support? The thing she needs to see now is not you being miserable but somehow if you can find a way to make her smile. Seeing happiness in you will give her some. Some really terrible jokes help a little when your sick.
 
Boy, Chris, I don't know. I TRY to be jovial around her, but she does not seem to appreciate it. Now, I DID finally realize that the lift used to put her in bed can ALSO be used to get her into my car - and told her last weekend that when it cools off, I want to come get her and take her out for a top-down ride! She liked that!

But again, she had me sign her papers today, can't remember what they are called, where she spells out her wishes for medical care if she is non-responsive or so mentally out of it that she can't talk, etc. I am now her "go to person" for such things.

Also, I learned of hte book my Nephew co-wrote, she's kinda upset that his mind is "in the darkness" as she puts it. And I agree, all his role-playing stuff is WEIRD. Anyway, I found his book on Amazon.com:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/15...&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846

Once you see it, you won't forget the cover art. Not sexual, but not "wholesome" either. :sad
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/15...&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846
 
In australia it is called a power of attorney. It means in sound mind she nominated someone to make decisions on her behalf and sign any legal documents as if it was her signing it.

I was that for my grandmother when I watched her die of dementia and old age. I used to look after her too.

Your the thing that can make her remaining time run smoother if you have that. It is a pretty big honour someone trusts you enough to give you that.
 
A ride in your car with the top down!

Mark that is a big thing It will be a lot for her but well worth it! Your are a good brother.
 
I kinda know how you feel. My mother is in the end stages of MS. At this point all she can do is move her right arm. Nothing else works. She lives with me and I am her primary caretaker.

My brother and his wife were given a $350,000 house by her as a wedding present by her because "They will take care of me"

Well when the time came that she needed them, my brother's wife said that they couldn't do anything because they were too busy with their volunteer work at the church. That was over a year ago. Six months ago they stopped answering her phone calls,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
I kinda know how you feel. My mother is in the end stages of MS. At this point all she can do is move her right arm. Nothing else works. She lives with me and I am her primary caretaker.

My brother and his wife were given a $350,000 house by her as a wedding present by her because "They will take care of me"

Well when the time came that she needed them, my brother's wife said that they couldn't do anything because they were too busy with their volunteer work at the church. That was over a year ago. Six months ago they stopped answering her phone calls,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Well there is a lesson for when we are older.
I hate hearing stories like that. You get nothing and do all the work. I have a sister like that with exactly the same outcome, selfish and lazy.


And yeah when my grandma died I split everything with her and after my grandma died she wanted the lions share, she wanted it split 3 ways and all her jewellery. she only did something for her out of guilt if we requested it.

She got it and it cost her 2 brothers. I hope it was worth it.
 
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