So I'm talking to this girl

[r0cker91]

She had just started going to my church late last September and we've gotten to know each other extremely well. I'm 22 going on 23, she'll be 20 this year. We share a passion for playing Praise and Worship music amongst other things. I play guitar for the band, she's a good singer. I've had feelings for her in the couple months before 2014 came around. She's been aware that I like her since December. Wasn't until recently I found out from her older sister that she feels the same way towards me. One Sunday after a service I was dropping her off and we finally had a talk about "us." And she told me that yes, she does harbor feelings for me, but she want's God's approval before it's official. I knew it'd be going that way.

I'm really close with her family, and most of the people we're really close with are saying that we should go for it. Her older sister is obviously wondering when we're gonna start dating, I'm in good standings with her mom and her younger siblings. My two best friends give me thumbs up, and most of my other close knit friends are happy for me and say go for it. I tell her these things and as happy as she is knowing this, she'd be more happier knowing God approved it. We both admit there is an "us," but it won't be the real thing until He says it's ok for her to have someone.

I know God does things in a different manner to ours. I'm seeking His approval all the time, but I don't actively go, "Ok, I'm gonna do all this so you can reward me by approving us." NO. I do the things I do with the intention of glorifying Him and what He's done for all of us. One of the Pastors I'm really close with, he always says be patient. I still am, it's obviously been working out. But I always catch myself thinking, "Everyone has pretty much given their blessings for us...would I be in the wrong to ask her about making it official?" And idk how she would want to perceive the approval...I said it might come as a dream, or a vision...or God just might tell it straight up. We don't know. And idk if SHE'D want to be the one to get the approval or can either of us find out.

And say we do get a sign....how would either of us go about it? How would we know it's really God speaking for it.

 

[reba]

A granny here not a young person... God tells us things in different ways. How we hear Him can be different from the next guy...Some just 'know' .Some set out a fleece
Jdg 6:36 And Gideon said unto God, If thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said,
Jdg 6:37 Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; and if the dew be on the fleece only, and it be dry upon all the earth beside, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said.

Jack had a thing for Wanda. He was also just wanting a wife ... He prayed Lord send me a sign.... In Jack's mind God did... see Jack found Wanda's photo on the floor that morning... He has been very happy married to Terry for 40 plus years...

From the girl side of me .... a simple bouquet of spring flowers never hurt anything...

 

[Andrew Mason]

To me, making it official would be putting a ring on her finger. Everything before that is temporary before it's "official." Doesn't matter what you call it: dating or friendship. The important thing is that you guys are getting to know each better in a relational and social context. Stay pure!

 

[reba]

Amen Andrew

 

[Eugene]

I’m not sure I disapprove of the way things are flowing in your relationship. There is the following scripture many times discounted by Christians as yeah, they’re a Christian and it’s okay to marry.

2 Cor 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Legal does not always make right. There are degrees of the will of God exhibited in different Christians and I would nearly bet your friend has spiritual fruit she is discerning for that will be manifest by God to her. Asking her would only confuse the answer she seeks as you could then fake it.

What is spiritual fruit?

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Eph 5:9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
Eph 5:10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

Have patience in allowing her to know that your, and her walks with Christ are indeed on equal levels seems to be of utmost importance to her as it should be. Are other considerations relevant? Possibly. What are your and her educational levels, thoughts of children, and what are your present life goals.

Blessings in Christ Jesus.

 

[Claudya]

Getting involved in a "serious" love story is always a risk. And it's scary. I know darn well I would be scared out of my pants. So it's understandable she hopes for some confirmation from above to reduce the feeling of riskiness, but ultimately she will have to take the risk.

Whether a relationship works well or not is a result of continuous work on it; rather than predestined fate.

 

[eng35]

Agree with Claudya. If you all are waiting for a sign from God like a dream or vision you may be waiting for a long time. I'm not saying that God doesn't do that, but if you look through the history of humanity and at the Bible specifically, most of the time God seems to interject dreams, visions, signs, etc... not when people are seeking for them but rather when people are simply living life. For most of the history of the world, people haven't had to make choices such as what type of work will I do, where will I work, who will I marry, etc... People didn't wonder, should I marry this person? or should I take this job? They just acted because it was the next logical step in life. I'm not saying you should just jump into a relationship without prayerfully considering it simply because it's available (there obviously are some cultural differences in dating and marriage now when compared to other times). I'd just encourage you not to overspiritualize it. In the parable of the talents, God didn't give each servant the talents and then a task to do as well. He simply gave each servant a talent and the one who was punished was the one who didn't do anything with that talent because he was afraid to more or less make the wrong choice and lose the talent. If we are seeking to glorify God with our life each and every day and we are striving towards sanctification, as is His will, then He will be faithful to direct our lives in accordance to His will.

I guess in all this I'm just suggesting that if you 2 have similar visions for the direction your lives are going, you both are seeking to glorify God above all else, and you sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron then you should go for the relationship and ultimately go for marriage. No need to make this a super-drawn out process.