[__ Prayer __] thankful for proper treatment

[Christ_empowered]

Yes, yes; me, yet again, talkin' bout mental health stuff.

I saw my counselor today. He's got a masters of divinity, solid Christian. its a public/community mental health clinic, so there's a real limit to religious talk. He talked more about his faith today (because of where I took the convo--he wasn't forcing his beliefs on me...) than ever before. It was awesome.

OK. So, the definite diagnosis--I mean, as definite as any diagnosis is in Mental Health, Inc.--is Bipolar I. I take Abilify and Lamictal (a seizure drug that helps w/ recurrent depression). He thinks some of what looks like psychosis is a strong OCD-type element adding a whole new level of fun to the mix, lol. But seriously...

I"m thankful for proper treatment,I really am. 2 psych drugs, moderate doses, no addictive/controlled substances, and my treatment providers are professional, but not so distant and detached that it bothers me. Good balance, which...I'm beginning to see now...is difficult to achieve.

Mama and dad are happy I'm getting proper treatment, too. They're doing well, btw. Dad brought home a big ole box of Bojangles (cuz the billboard says we're now a "Bo-town," y'all!), plus the iced tea (oh man...get it...just.do.it.). Mama went on a sudden grocery store run while hungry. I now have ample snacks and my own container of chocolate gelato. Mmmm....gelato....

But, seriously; as much as I write about the horrors of mental health, inc., God has made a way for this to work for my betterment. Proper treatment, disability, my parents' support, plus...although I"m trying -not- to think "I AM Bipolar I," etc., I -am- thankful for a diagnosis that helps guide treatment. I am -not- an illness, malady, affliction, etc., but I do better on this treatment--a tranquilizer plus a mood drug--than I did on anything else. Certainly beats electroshock, that's for sure.

So, I offer up praises to The Most High God for His infinite goodness. Its not just comfy living, good health, and proper treatment; its forgiveness, being washed and made clean, and...He is "the God of yet another undeserved chance," after all. I am increasingly thankful.

I also ask for guidance, for both my shrink and for me. See, OCD stuff is usually treated with antidepressants. Usually the SSRI drugs, sometimes the SSNRI drugs, less commonly the tricyclics. Problem is...although mania is not a constant problem for me (thank God!), my manic episodes were off the charts, and involved psychosis, hence the shock treatments and jail time. Antidepressants can trigger mania, hypomania, overall mood instability, now and then psychosis. Plus, factor in drug-drug interactions, and...ugh. gets tricksy, it seems.

So I really don't know if I want -more- psych drugs, but my mind loops around stuff a lot, more than I'd like. I think its been an ongoing thing since childhood. I had little bald patches when I was a kid, up until the 1st major manic episode in my early 20s, from pulling my hair. Some people have extensive patches; for me, it was less severe, and more out of agitation and -intense- loops in my thought processes. And so...

yeah. Treat it? Let it be? More supplements? It doesn't help that I'm not a huge SSRI fan. The last time I took one, I appreciated simmering down...6 months in, I was feeling very tranquilized, flat, apathetic, etc., so I dropped it.

OK. SO...another Praise Report (God is good!) and prayer request, cuz I really do need Him to guide my path.

Thanks.

 

[Razeontherock]

This is very good news! Btw, you are such a Blessing.

My .02 is you want to minimize Rx, and maximize the Holy Spirit. He gives you the power of a sound mind! Lots of great stuff to read, which will do more to straighten out "loops" in your mind than any drug ever will, imho.

You're down to 2 scripts, they make sense, help, and you have a good counselor to help you keep tabs on things. Don't change anything! Not unless something major goes wrong, that points to treatment.

Is the person prescribing the 2 scripts to you also your counselor?

 

[Tessa]

CE you seem to know and manage the medications well, which is a blessing. You've been on a long journey but look where it's taken you.
You've never given up, you must have been given much strength.

 

[Christ_empowered]

me, again. I think I needed some solid --sleep--, lol. Sleep isn't a big problem, but now that I've just woken up from a deep, deep restorative sleep...I think I"ll stay on 2 meds, if possible.

If I can avoid more psych drugs, I probably should. Other than that...

I still have qualms about Mental Health, Inc., as a whole Sure, my counselor is kind to me and the shrink is professional. What about the ones who electroshocked me (it wasn't voluntary, not that it matters...) ? And the ones who defrauded insurance, back when I had insurance? Oh, and...once they've done things like that to you, then you're labeled as "just a mental patient," and most people shrug it off. ugh. I wouldn't say I"m angry about it, just...well, now kind of frustrated and confused. Is the whole industry a big scam, and I"m being given better treatment because my parents have more status and resources now?

Push come to shove, its like Eugene told me..."play the hand you're dealt." Here's what odd about Mental Health, Inc.; especially dealing with more severe diagnoses--Bipolar I, Schizophrenia, etc.--if you disagree, then you "lack insight." So, the next time I see the shrink or my counselor, if I said "you know, I think I really just went thru a lot and now I'm OK. I don't think I have Bipolar," they'd probably have me committed to the lovely local hospital. What's that about?

Ugh. Thru it all, God is good! People say stuff, but no one's laid a hand on me, I"m not in jail or a hospital, etc. The other night, I was chain smoking out in the back yard, and some dude yelled about "CALL THE LAW!," which...well, he was extra super loud, cuz I heard it thru my MP3 player. Again; I'm blessed...I"ve been spared a felony ("Class A" misdemeanor instead), I"m off probation early, etc., but...

oh man. talk about attempts at oppression+control, lol. I really just want to keep working on getting my life right, see about transitioning into a job if possible, and move on. At any rate...

thanks for the posts and prayers. I pray God's perfect will for my life.