[__ Prayer __] The Life I Didn't Want

[IncredibleTransformation]

I first met my husband Greg when I was 14 years old. We were in the Presbyterian Youth Group together. I didn't pay much attention to him but he paid a lot of attention to me. Soon we were dating and we dated for most of out high school years. As it happens many times we broke up. He was older than me and we just didn't keep the relationship going after he left home.


I didn't know this but he always kept a flame in his heart for me. He married and had children, I married and had children, but as I found out from an old girlfriend of his that after his divorce from his first wife he still loved me and wanted to be with me. This reunion happened because of my mom. She was the catalyst that brought us back together. My mom gave me Greg's phone number.I called him up. At first it was just friendship for me but this soon turned into love. I couldn't resist his unconditional love for me. It was a flame he carried for 30 years. I finally gave in and on Sept. 8, 2003 we were married.


After that we were inseperable. We went everywhere together. We took a month to for a honeymoon in 2004 and toured California. We went on a cruise to Mexico. We would visit our home state of Colorado many times to visit one of his daughters and enjoy the beauty of the mountains. He loved San Diego so we went back frequently. It didn't matter where we were just as long as we were together.


He was an entertainer. We built his business together. We moved to New Mexico on a 50 acre ranch and built a horse boarding business together. It seemed like a fairy tale life for nearly 14 years until it all came crashing down on March 20, 2017. Greg was on the way to a meeting in El Paso. I was sure he was there until the paramedics showed up telling me they had rushed him to the hospital. They took me to the hospital and the nurse ushered me into his room. He was sceaming in pain saying that his heart hurt and he couldn't breath. I couldn't stay there and see him in such pain and he didn't even realize he was there. I have a friend that worked at that hospital so I went there and stayed in her office for awhile. I finally went back to the emergency room. They had settled him down and he was more stable. Greg had had a major heart attack and now only had about 15% of his heart function left. The doctors tried but 8 days later he died in intensive care.


My fairy tale life came crashing down. I put on a brave face but all I wanted to do was die so I could be with him. I somehow made my way through the funeral and then the chaos began. I had to do something with the ranch. I didn't want to keep it, there were too many memories, it was too remote, and too work intensive for me. I had a buyer. I thought, "This will be great, I can get out of this and start a new life." Little did I know that the person buying it knew how to play the real estate game. He got every inspector that he knew to inspect the place and find every little thing wrong with it. He lowered the price so much that it was rediculous. It's been three months now and we are still negotiating.


I said I would get my stuff out of the house in 1 month. That was a herculian task because we had a 4500 square foot barn and 1600 square foot house. I had a few neighbors to help but not much help. I knew it would be difficult to do this if Greg and I had to move, but now I was doing it myself.


One of Greg's daughters showed up wanting the "help" during the move. She actually didn't want to help move only to see what she could get. She had not talked to Greg for 17 years and now she was showing up to claim what she could. His other daughter bothered me for months about his guitars that he used in his business. She wanted them. He had told me to sell them to someone who would use them before he died. Someone showed up almost immediately and I sold the guitars a week after the funderal. His daugher had never shown on bit of interest in his shows before he died and now she wanted his precious guitars. I sold them to someone who would play them, not just leave them in a closet somewhere to collect dust.


Now, I'm staying with my son and daughter-in-law for awhile until I can get back on my feet and he wants me out. He says I drive him crazy and they want their privacy back. Funny because it was my families money that helped them afford a big house in the first place. I have some money but I don't know where I'll go and I hate to be alone right now.


This is the life that I didn't want, but I have it. I don't know what the Lord is trying to teach me through all of this. I have started to get over the feeling that I just want to lay down and die but I hope the lesson comes soon so I can be with my husband and continue our fairy tale without the fear of being separated ever again.

I continue to ask for your prayers in this situation.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Sandy,

I am so very sorry for your pain. I wish I could help. My friend, Verna, is having somewhat similar things happen in her life since her beloved husband, Ronnie, passed away after a long battle with cancer. Her children have used her modest resources, and they seem to feel entitled to do so. Ronnie's child, her stepson, has used their credit for his own purchases. Now, Verna's brother has lied to doctors after she had a relativley minor accident at home....apparently in an effort to get her put into a nursing home.

The nature of unredeemed mankind is cruel and exploitative. That much is clear to me now, and I've only been saved (and that by a miracle) for 4 1/2 years.

I have been praying for you. I'll pray for more often, and I'll get Verna to pray for you, too. The Bible tells us that human nature is bad enough, without Christ. In the last days, men shall become lovers of --themselves--. I'm not big into End Times stuff, because know one knows when Christ is coming back, when things will get very rough, etc., but...yeah. The way things are going, especially in America (it seems...), most people: DO NOT CARE. There is a cruelty, a hardness of the heart, a vicious streak to people in this world.

Now, even "experts" are talking about it. Sociologists are talking about what's being termed "micro-aggression;: small acts of cruelty, directed anywhere and everywhere. Road rage. Shooting sprees. And...

by and large, fewer and fewer people care. Even in churches, there's condemnation and cruelty. As I've seen in Verna's life, and now I see in your life, children are turning on their parents. Kids growing up these days are being exposed to all sorts of horrible things, while their parents are too busy with making ends meet and their own neds and wants to provide anything in the way of meaningful guidance and structure.

My life...I'm blessed, but I get afraid, too. People openly talk about sending me to prison, "if he'd kill himself, it'd all be over," etc. This 4 1/2 years after Christ saved me by a miracle, this after years of untreated health problems have (miraculously) given way to good health, etc.

I'll keep you up in prayer, definitely. I do not know what's going on in this world. I'll soon turn 33. I was fully expected to be dead by 23. Now that I can remember more, I see that, yes, the world has always been cruel and terrible, but...I dunno....I think things have gotten a little rougher, harder, more vicious. For all this talk of "progress" and such, it --does-- seem that the love of many has grown cold, and the love of many more is cooling off, rapidly.

I pray that The Lord will protect you, guide you, and make a way forward for you, to a place where you can have what you need for life and for godliness, and where you can be sfae from harm and your enemies.

Please keep poisting., I do care about your life, and I also have always enjoyed your posts. Around here, church people were some of the most vicious people towards me (long story). Now, I'm saved and set free, The Lord has clearly worked miracles for my family and for me, and what do the church people have to say? "At least he got saved." Right.

I'm praying for you, Sandy. I don't know what's going on with your life or...well, what's going on in our world, in general...but you're in my prayers. May The Lord bless you, comfort you, guide you, and protect you.

 

[IncredibleTransformation]

Sandy,

I am so very sorry for your pain. I wish I could help. My friend, Verna, is having somewhat similar things happen in her life since her beloved husband, Ronnie, passed away after a long battle with cancer. Her children have used her modest resources, and they seem to feel entitled to do so. Ronnie's child, her stepson, has used their credit for his own purchases. Now, Verna's brother has lied to doctors after she had a relativley minor accident at home....apparently in an effort to get her put into a nursing home.

The nature of unredeemed mankind is cruel and exploitative. That much is clear to me now, and I've only been saved (and that by a miracle) for 4 1/2 years.

I have been praying for you. I'll pray for more often, and I'll get Verna to pray for you, too. The Bible tells us that human nature is bad enough, without Christ. In the last days, men shall become lovers of --themselves--. I'm not big into End Times stuff, because know one knows when Christ is coming back, when things will get very rough, etc., but...yeah. The way things are going, especially in America (it seems...), most people: DO NOT CARE. There is a cruelty, a hardness of the heart, a vicious streak to people in this world.

Now, even "experts" are talking about it. Sociologists are talking about what's being termed "micro-aggression;: small acts of cruelty, directed anywhere and everywhere. Road rage. Shooting sprees. And...

by and large, fewer and fewer people care. Even in churches, there's condemnation and cruelty. As I've seen in Verna's life, and now I see in your life, children are turning on their parents. Kids growing up these days are being exposed to all sorts of horrible things, while their parents are too busy with making ends meet and their own neds and wants to provide anything in the way of meaningful guidance and structure.

My life...I'm blessed, but I get afraid, too. People openly talk about sending me to prison, "if he'd kill himself, it'd all be over," etc. This 4 1/2 years after Christ saved me by a miracle, this after years of untreated health problems have (miraculously) given way to good health, etc.

I'll keep you up in prayer, definitely. I do not know what's going on in this world. I'll soon turn 33. I was fully expected to be dead by 23. Now that I can remember more, I see that, yes, the world has always been cruel and terrible, but...I dunno....I think things have gotten a little rougher, harder, more vicious. For all this talk of "progress" and such, it --does-- seem that the love of many has grown cold, and the love of many more is cooling off, rapidly.

I pray that The Lord will protect you, guide you, and make a way forward for you, to a place where you can have what you need for life and for godliness, and where you can be sfae from harm and your enemies.

Please keep poisting., I do care about your life, and I also have always enjoyed your posts. Around here, church people were some of the most vicious people towards me (long story). Now, I'm saved and set free, The Lord has clearly worked miracles for my family and for me, and what do the church people have to say? "At least he got saved." Right.

I'm praying for you, Sandy. I don't know what's going on with your life or...well, what's going on in our world, in general...but you're in my prayers. May The Lord bless you, comfort you, guide you, and protect you.

Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate them very much.

 

[Christ_empowered]

hey, sandy. me again.

You're most definitely in my prayers. I actually just got off the phone with Verna, who has been a widow now for nearly 4 years. Ronnie was her 2nd husband. Her 1st husband started out OK, then turned his back on God, church, his family and...that was the end of that, basically.

I --am-- sorry about the exploitation, cruelty, and downright nastiness all around you, especially the stuff coming from your close family. I know this won't make you feel any better, but it does seem to be a common thing, and it seems to be becoming more and more of a problem. I dunno. Social changes, families are disintegrating, the economy is rough....human decency has gone out the window, even with family members. 21st century America, I suppose.

I can't imagine losing a spouse...and then all this stuff.I really, really can't. He is in a much better place, the best place ever. We here on earth can't even wrap our minds around the peace, serenity, and incredible joy of Heaven.

It seems to me the world is getting darker and darker by the day. When I talk to Verna (she's in her 70s), that much is clear...the world's never been a great place, but things weren't always this rough. Even non-believers had more decency and compassion and....I dunno. Not to gloss over the past, it was horrible back then, too, especially for...well, anybody who wasn't a middle or upper class, heterosexual, white dude with a job. Boom. It is what it is.

But, yeah...as a Christian, you're a light unto a dark and dying world. Your posts have touched me and made think on numerous occasions, and I'm sure The Lord is working through you in this world. How? I don't know.

I pray the He will comfort you and protect you, and that His perfect will shall come to pass in your life.