To Wait or Not to Wait?

[7teenyearsold]

Hi.
I'm a senior in high school and I turn eighteen in January. I want to go to college next fall. My dad said I'll go to college when he decides and in the meantime, he will probably want me to study at home to earn a medical coding license. Although I do not want to be a medical coder, I would not mind doing this so much except for the fact that it means I'll basically be at home all day.

He does not allows anyone in the family besides himself to drive , even my mom. Also, the only time we really ever go anywhere is when we go to the grocery store. I do not want to be stuck at home for two years, which is probably how long it will take me to finish my studies in medical coding.

My 19 year old sister is currently doing this and I do not want to take the same path. She is inside the house all day and cannot he even go for a walk around the neighborhood because my dad doesn't like her to go anywhere alone.

My dad doesn't realize how his overprotectiveness is fustrating us. The no driving rule is permanent for all the females in my family. He said that he may let my sixteen year old brother drive, but only when he decides.

I'm currently working on scholarships and trying to get into a university without him knowing. But what do you guys think? Should I just wait until he says I can go and helps me financially or try to do it on my own?

 

[Nick]

Hmmm...

My first piece of advice is not to go around your father's back. He'll find out eventually and it will only make the situation worse. Once you are 18 you are an adult according to the state, but from a Christian point of view, as long as you are living under your parents' roof, you need to at least respect their decisions and wishes.

This is a tough situation, and one which I am unfamiliar with, as my family is very supportive and we have a fair bit of freedom. Whatever you decide to do, I would encourage you not to divide the family and disrupt the peace. What you really need to do is sit down with your father and have a serious discussion with him about why he puts all these limitations on the family. Try to understand his point of view, and make him see that you are making an effort to do so. There may be a legitimate reason that you are not aware of. Try to make him see that you are responsible and capable of making good decisions.

Most importantly: pray. Seek advice from God.

I know that you have a few other threads here, and when I get time I'll see if I can check them out. It would help to know a little more about the situation you're in, but as I said, I can offer limited advice, since I've never been or known anyone who's been in this kind of situation.

 

[7teenyearsold]

Hi. :wavingI've taken so long to respond. Sorry...

Thanks for looking at my other thread. I was afraid that if I wrote the entire story here then people would look at it, say it's too long, and move on. So that's why some of the details aren't included.

From an ethical, Christian standpoint, I do not think that it would be wrong to move out. I've done research and have gotten advice from other Christians in this forum and most are saying that it is okay as long as I do it in a respectful manner. My main concern is the actual doing part. Having my sister with me would be a great help, and she probably would leave along with me.

Still, I pray that God will tell me the right course of action and help the matter work out for the best.

I guess my main purpose in posting this again was to see what other people my age would do if they were in the same situation. Thanks for your advice, Nick.

 

[Nick]

Hi. :wavingI've taken so long to respond. Sorry...

Thanks for looking at my other thread. I was afraid that if I wrote the entire story here then people would look at it, say it's too long, and move on. So that's why some of the details aren't included.

From an ethical, Christian standpoint, I do not think that it would be wrong to move out. I've done research and have gotten advice from other Christians in this forum and most are saying that it is okay as long as I do it in a respectful manner. My main concern is the actual doing part. Having my sister with me would be a great help, and she probably would leave along with me.

Still, I pray that God will tell me the right course of action and help the matter work out for the best.

I guess my main purpose in posting this again was to see what other people my age would do if they were in the same situation. Thanks for your advice, Nick.

Between these two threads, I don't think there's much more I can say. You seem to have done your research well, and I pray the best for you. I'll see if I can contact some more teens on the site to see if they can take a look at your threads. There's not too many teens on here that are active, but the couple that are are may be able to give you some good advice.

PM Pard, he is just 20, so he can't post in the teens forum.