We all remember hearing at least one Traveling Salesman joke so let me tell you the truth.
The Salesman had restored the 56 F100 Ford and it a thing of beauty! But the Forest Green, Side Step Ford did what it was famous for and the old Six Banger, straight stranded him on the side of the Texas and just like my Grandpa Schoenberg's place, he could see the roof and the smoke from the old wood stove and he could smell the delicious smell of the Oak Firewood sizzling the bacon.
He crawled through the Barbed-Wire Fence in to the obvious Sheep Pasture, made the Quarter Mile hikeover to and through the fence on the other and stepping on the Mud Road, dried with 9 and in some places 12 inch ruts and climbed over the six foot Elevated Train Tracks. Another football field of walking and he stepped onto the porch and set seven Blue Tick Hounds to howling that suddenly caused the door to open to a double Bed, a Ben Franklin Pot Belly Wood Heater and walls filed with pictures of Hogs and Blue First Place and Purple Grand Champion Ribbons, more than he had ever seen in one place before.
The gray, almost white haired old man asked him if he could help him? The salesman explained what had happened and told the farmer what was wrong and asked if he had a Monkey Wrench and a six inch Flat Tip Screwdriver he could borrow to fix his truck with?
The Farmer, as he stepped out and closed the door told him yes and to follow him to the Tool Shed. On the way to the Tool Shed the Traveling Salesman asked him if he knew anything about what happened to the three legged hog hue had seen walking over there, he had no left rear leg. The farmer told hi, yes, that was his favorite piece of Livestock on the whole pace.
He began with,"Now this is a long story but without it you will not understand. Three weeks ago my youngest grandson was swiming in the Stock Tank behind the house and he got caught up in those green vines that will clog the surface up and it drowned him!
The only one that saw that happen saw that same hog. He ran into the water and chewed the boy loose, grabbed him by the hair of his head and dragged him up on the bank, where he rolled him over with his nose and jumped up and down on the boy's chest until he pumped all of that water out ... saved his life.
The Salesman asked him, Wha, wha, what does that... and the Old Man held his hands up and told him, Son... now son, you've got to hear the whole story and thisis only half of it, now be quiet and be educated.
He began again, Last week I was I was hitching my Seven Bit Plow to the Three Point Hitch on my Diesel Massey Furguson and like an old fool I left it idling in Neutral and asI lay there sliding the third pin into place it bounced into Reverse andit backed up against that Seven Bit Plow andit stalled that Diesel Motor with the Drive tire in the middle of my chest, I could not breathe!
JUST LAST WEEK!
The Salesman came unglued and screamed, what has that got to do with that Hog having only three legs?
The Farmer stuffed his hands into the pockets of his Bib-Overhauls, took his right handout and pulling his Purina Feed Ball Cap down over his face and returned it to his pocket and drew inthe Sandy Loam with the toe of his boot. After a few long seconds his head came off of his chest and he asked him, Son, surely son... you wouldn'6t eat a hog like that more than one Ham at a time.
