Unequally Yoked

[gefsgirl]

Hi everyone

I would like to start a thread for those of us who are believers married to non-believers.

I thought it would be good to talk with people in the same situation as me...share frustrations, ask each other for advice, pray for each other...

Okay, I just want to say, first off, that I in no way want to encourage believers to marry non-believers. In my case, I was a believer before I met my husband, and I was not obeying the Scriptures when I decided to be with him. But some of you became a believer when you were already married. Either way, we are in this situation and I want to try to find others who can help and encourage me, and vice versa. Also, if anyone else has help or encouragement for those of us who are unequally yoked, it would be really appreciated! Because it is a daily struggle.

Thank you.

 

[gefsgirl]

Is there anyone else out there in this situation? I hope I'm not the only one. 2

 

[Carolyn]

I was unequally yoke for 11 years. At first he prevented me from attending church, then I compromised and backslid. I kept calling out to God and He kept trying to wake me up to how far I had strayed. Finally I fully surrendered to God and started interceding for my husband. 5 years later he called on God to "help him with his sins." The change was slow but amazing. He no longer tore up my Bibles but started attending church. That was over 35 years ago. Today he is the Godly man I thought I was getting. I only wish that I had waited till God saved him before I married him.
I will be praying for you: That you live 1 Peter 3 and learn not to speak unless God tells you to. That you pray continually for him in your heart. That you honor and esteem him even when he doesn't deserve it, and that you focus on being the Godly wife that God wants you to be.

 

[duari91]

I was in a marriage with someone who was not christian/religious. I must say, it was extremely difficult to work together in the marriage. Especially since God is my number 1 priority. Everyone knows, that if your partner doesn't share your number 1 priority, problems arise.

Long story short, God obviously didn't like it, and provided an exit from the marriage so that I could find a woman who shared my number 1 priority. She committed adultery, and abandoned me on several occasions. That was all the proof I needed to recognize the sign from God.

I am not saying that being with someone who is not christian/religious is doomed for failure, or that God won't be present in the marriage (God is the ultimate judge here). I am simply saying that it made it extremely difficult for me to cope in the marriage, and God eventually wanted me out.

 

[gefsgirl]

Thank you, Carolyn and duari91, for your responses.

Carolyn, thanks for giving me hope! I don't really have any hope that my husband will ever change his views, and being with him and seeing what a good person he is without God really tests my faith! You see, I don't have anything to complain about regarding him. The way he lives his life and treats others, how good of a father he is...

I am the one who is always falling short, always failing to be what I'm supposed to be. And yet my husband is understanding and patient with me. And he doesn't prevent me from going to church. He just doesn't go with me, cuz he doesn't believe. (which can be difficult, but really not bad)

Really, if I pray for him, I ought to be just thanking God for him, because I am fortunate to have him. But I have been praying for God to show him his need for Him...

 

[jasoncran]

Hi everyone

I would like to start a thread for those of us who are believers married to non-believers.

I thought it would be good to talk with people in the same situation as me...share frustrations, ask each other for advice, pray for each other...

Okay, I just want to say, first off, that I in no way want to encourage believers to marry non-believers. In my case, I was a believer before I met my husband, and I was not obeying the Scriptures when I decided to be with him. But some of you became a believer when you were already married. Either way, we are in this situation and I want to try to find others who can help and encourage me, and vice versa. Also, if anyone else has help or encouragement for those of us who are unequally yoked, it would be really appreciated! Because it is a daily struggle.

Thank you.

im there myself. its hard because my wife believes in sins that i dont care to support.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

There is a purpose to all things, including being unequally yoked. If one finds themselves in that situation, prayer seeking God's direction as to what to do should be our first reaction. Whether we come to Christ after our marriage, or don't listen to God's voice and, as a believer, marry an unbeliever, I firmly believe there is still purpose to that marriage and remaining in the unbelieving spouse's life.

 

[reba]

Thanks Number

 

[gefsgirl]

There is a purpose to all things, including being unequally yoked. If one finds themselves in that situation, prayer seeking God's direction as to what to do should be our first reaction. Whether we come to Christ after our marriage, or don't listen to God's voice and, as a believer, marry an unbeliever, I firmly believe there is still purpose to that marriage and remaining in the unbelieving spouse's life.

At Bible study a couple weeks ago, someone mentioned that God had given us each the perfect spouse for us, but I didn't think that applied to me, because it was my doing, in disobedience, when I dated and married my husband. Everyone else in the room was there with their believing spouse. I thought, how can I say it was God who joined us together?

 

[gefsgirl]

im there myself. its hard because my wife believes in sins that i dont care to support.

Yeah, I hear you there. My husband's beliefs about sex are quite different. I'm worried about how our boys are going to turn out since my hubby believes that premarital sex is totally fine and should be encouraged. On the other hand, I engaged in it myself, so being a believer didn't keep me from that sin. Believing that it was wrong didn't keep me from doing it. I just felt all guilty about it and that's not helpful.

 

[Carolyn]

That is how I prayed for my husband, too. I just prayed that God would save him and make him a Godly father for our sons. That means having Christ like values and agreeing with God about sin. So I prayed that no matter where he went he would run into Jesus. And suddenly he had clients, bosses, co-workers, and even their pastors telling him about Jesus. God stacked the deck against him. So cool. But it still took another 4 years. And the more I prayed for him, the more God changed me and my attitudes to be more Christ like So keep on thanking God for him and praying for his savation.

 

[gefsgirl]

That is how I prayed for my husband, too. I just prayed that God would save him and make him a Godly father for our sons. That means having Christ like values and agreeing with God about sin. So I prayed that no matter where he went he would run into Jesus. And suddenly he had clients, bosses, co-workers, and even their pastors telling him about Jesus. God stacked the deck against him. So cool. But it still took another 4 years. And the more I prayed for him, the more God changed me and my attitudes to be more Christ like So keep on thanking God for him and praying for his savation.

Praise the Lord!

 

[Carolyn]

Hi again. I don't think that it was God's perfect will for our lives to marry unbelievers. But God can and will make all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
Remember the sin of David and Bathsheba? She was probably a gentile since she was the wife of Uriah the Hittite. David paid dearly for his sin--he lost the first child of that union, several of his sons were a mess like Absalom. But our Savior came from the line of Bathsheba. Mat 1:6. And of Ruth, another gentile, and Tamar whose children were by her father-in-law when he failed to provide another son after her husband died. When we are repentant God does use it all for His glory.
Your children are sanctified by the believing wife--set apart as holy for God's use.
Do you take them to church (Sunday School) with you? Just do all you know how to do, keep praying and, having done all, stand and see the salvation of God. Several times during battles in the promised land the Jews were told to sing praises to God or to shout and watch God fight the battle for them. I think of Jerico, and Hezikiah, and 2 Kings 7:6. God fights our battles for us when we depend on Him. And you are fighting for the souls of you family. You do it by prayer, praising God, and obedience to His voice.

 

[The Unbeliever]

I'm in an unequally yoked marriage, although I'm on the other side of it from the rest of you. I do agree that it can present challenges, especially when one partner feels something as important as religion is being threatened by the other partner. I do my best to be non-threatening, but the very fact that I am not Christian is enough at times to cause anxiety. We haven't found what I feel like is a good or permanent solution since at the moment all we do is avoid the situation by not talking about it and pretending like it doesn't exist.

 

[erinalexmom]

My husband and I are the same way.He is generally kind and loving and he is an amazing father. I tease him and tell him acts like a Christian he might as well become one! Lol But sometimes it is so hard because there is always a wall seperating you no matter how great of a person the nonbeliever is.