What else do women find attractive?

[sherri2]

Breathing works for me. But God has to give the big tick.


(no, I'm exaggerating. Breathing and attractive.)

 

[handy]

I don't think women are that interested in "luxury items" Isaiah...sorry you've been led to believe that, I'm wondering what kind of women you're going for, if you're convinced that all women are like that.

But, you're correct when you say that financial stability is different from being rich...and I believe most Christian women want financial security. To be able to stay home and raise their kids, most Christian women want to know that her man will be able to bring home the bacon. This might be confused with a desire for money, but it's not. It's the desire to know that the man will provide for the family and one won't have to worry about how to feed and clothe one's kids.

I'm no longer single, but, I was for a long, loonnnngggg time. What I always truly craved in a guy was just the ability to converse, to talk things over with him, to have him "get" my jokes. I love it that my husband can even finish my sentences for me sometimes, because we are so on the same page with our thoughts.

As for looks, never went for the big burly, muscle-man types. But, different strokes for different folks. I'm just glad that my hubby wasn't after the tall, slim, super-model type, cause I ain't that, not by a long shot.

I'Chante, I'm with you on the addiction thing. I told Steve when things got serious between us that I would never leave him unless he committed one of the three "A's": adultery, addiction or abuse. Anything else, I stay and work out. But, adultery is a given, what woman is going to put up with that, addiction is bad, as you're able to testify to, and I have personally experienced abuse as a kid, won't ever EVER put up with that again.

 

[Isaiah28:7-8]

I don't think women are that interested in "luxury items" Isaiah...sorry you've been led to believe that, I'm wondering what kind of women you're going for, if you're convinced that all women are like that.

What I define as luxury items may differ from another person's idea of luxury items.

I was speaking in generalities when doing so one must speak for the majority. As it is, the majority here are about material things, I happen to live in a very material place. In my age group and locality, women expect plenty of gifts, jewelry, finer things, its much more than stability, they generally expect to be bought a house one day or hope to have a house bought for them.

Money is the focus and one of the first topics is always what do you do for a living and/or how much do you make?

Around here and in my age group its very much about luxury items which I define as non-necessity, vanity items mostly.

Others experiences and locals may vary but these are my experiences.

All of the women I have met are the same in this regard from all walks of life, it is heavily emphasized in local culture and its just how it is here. Which tells me I need to be here and that there is much work to be done here.

As far as the women I seek, I seek intellectual types who are cultured and experienced in life, among other things but what people appear to be and what they are, are two different ballparks sometimes. I currently seek no one as I am focused on my life and serving god and have done so for quite some time now. I do not believe my existence or happiness is dependent upon another individual and am happy being single and not seeking out women currently.

 

[handy]

Isaiah, it sounds as if you live in a more wealthy area. I've moved around a lot in life but most of my homes were in smaller towns or rural areas. For those of us out here in the boonies, luxury items just aren't that big of a deal.

For instance, for our first anniversary gift to each other, Steve and I bought a truck load of sand and some siding in order to clean out and repair the stable.

He did buy me a beautiful sapphire ring for our engagement and some matching sapphire earrings for our 5th anniversary, and I truly love and appreciate them, but that's about a "luxurious" as I'm willing to get.

Frankly, my absolute favorite gift in the whole wide world would just be some cut flowers, and I'm not talking $150 roses, just some cut flowers that can be bought in most grocery stores for $10 bucks. Honestly, for my birthday, anniversary and Valentine's Day, he really would never have to buy any thing but some flowers. But for some reason, that's the one thing that Steve just can't bring himself to buy. He says they'll just die in a day or so, so that's wasteful.

That is one thing that guys can keep in mind about what women find attractive: "Wasting" a bit of money on her now and then. Not all the time, just every now and then. And keep in mind it won't exactly be a waste! ;)

 

[jasoncran]

i dont miss being single. Lord the uncertianity of what does she want and like. I know my wife and she knows me.

let see, i always tended to be codependent until i got healed of that.. but that is another thread on that.

single women imho tended to want fwb's and even some so called christians.

 

[handy]

i dont miss being single. Lord the uncertianity of what does she want and like. I know my wife and she knows me.

let see, i always tended to be codependent until i got healed of that.. but that is another thread on that.

single women imho tended to want fwb's and even some so called christians.

I hear you on not ever wanting to be single again, Jason. It's rough out there, sometimes I wondered how I handled it for all those years.

I would caution about the women who wanted FWB's though. You'd be surprised at how many women are using the FWB ploy as a way to manipulate the guy into a relationship.

 

[jasoncran]

I hear you on not ever wanting to be single again, Jason. It's rough out there, sometimes I wondered how I handled it for all those years.

I would caution about the women who wanted FWB's though. You'd be surprised at how many women are using the FWB ploy as a way to manipulate the guy into a relationship.

i know, i used to be quite ackward around women. i learned that through observation. i have yet to figure why some woman want a worthless man. by this i mean a men who wont work but can, drinks, beats her and abuses,yet they look for this.

i used to treat the girl decent, yet was cheated on by one for a drunkard , go figure. i wasnt perfect, but i never hit or did that stuff. my issues then were relaying emotions etc.

 

[sherri2]

Make that breathing, Godly and attractive.

I once heard a pastor say that people in general tend to marry people like themselves. And after years of observation I think I agree with him.

Not always, but it's enough of a trend to be noticeable.

Nice people attract nice people. Mean spirited people, likewise. Wise people, ditto, shallow, selfish people, the same.

And if a guy has been saving up to 'waste' money on himself by buying a boat or a motorcycle, then he'd better be just as prepared to 'waste' the same amount on a diamond ring or new wardrobe for his wife. Wives leave their husbands for jobs, affairs or whatever for more then just him forgetting to say 'I love you'. You get what you give.

 

[Isaiah28:7-8]

Isaiah, it sounds as if you live in a more wealthy area. I've moved around a lot in life but most of my homes were in smaller towns or rural areas. For those of us out here in the boonies, luxury items just aren't that big of a deal.

I live in a sizeable metro area that is indeed wealthy. It is comprised of many professionals and business owners and there are quite a few mill workers as this is a prime paper mill area with more than a dozen mills. I do believe the average wage is nearly 60k according to statistics however there is a very divided line between the classes. There are the people in poverty barely existing and there are the professionals that are very well to do. Many have business spanning back several generations as this area was founded by settlers whom their descendants have mostly stayed in the area. There is indeed a strong core of elitism in some groups or even neighborhoods/areas.

As a child I grew up on the farm but before I was a teen, most of the farms around here folded and everyone moved to the metro here as they had no other choice.

I am definitely an outsider for choosing to live in poverty to dedicate my time to volunteer and help do what I see as gods work and my calling in life.I feel it is also a better use of my life to do many works of charity and kindness but this is a very extreme view for everyone here. Very few are called or feel the calling for such things and there are very few nuns and no monks or friars or even those would choose to live in poverty.

This is a metro area of 250,000 people so it is by no means small or remote.

 

[Pard]

Shoot, I've grown up a comfortable life in a the suburbs of the Insurance capital. I've never wanted to anything and I've always been given what I need. But you know what? If some girl, who I presumably dating, starts bugging me for "luxury" items she can hit the road 'cause I am not about to play as someones sugar daddy, or anything else. She may get an item of jewelry, but its gonna be a engagement ring.

From my observations, one thing woman (or girls, I should say) do not want in a guy is someone who is kind and willing to listen to them whine on a phone for three hours after she calls at 3 in the morning on a school day.

 

[Isaiah28:7-8]

From my observations, one thing woman (or girls, I should say) do not want in a guy is someone who is kind and willing to listen to them whine on a phone for three hours after she calls at 3 in the morning on a school day.

Many women claim that there are no sensitive men and claim they are looking for kindness and sensitivity and similar things but when you do these things, you are cemented in as the friend and cannot elevate your position any higher usually.

Women when they claim that there are no decent men or sensitive men what they mean is, they are looking for bad boy types or certain types which by nature do not have those qualities or at least do not show them. This goes for any other qualities men lack according to their complaints.

Women go for people who's affection and attention must be earned and whom they feel are slightly above their level. Such is the human mind that it wants to obtain what it thinks it cannot or should not get while discarding what is given to them freely.

Unfortunately the nice guys and sensitive guys end up with a lot of broken hearts. Being overly kind and attentive will go nowhere every time. It is just how the human mind works. This is why the nice guys claim all the jerks get the girls.They want strength and independence and traits that tend to show up strongly in jerky guys often times unfortunately.

 

[PouringRain]

Unfortunately the nice guys and sensitive guys end up with a lot of broken hearts. Being overly kind and attentive will go nowhere every time. It is just how the human mind works. This is why the nice guys claim all the jerks get the girls.They want strength and independence and traits that tend to show up strongly in jerky guys often times unfortunately.

Sadly, from my observations, the males who usually cry about the thing you mention above.... are not the "nice guys".

I agree that the nice guys often end up with a lot of broken hearts, but the reasons are the same as why the nice girls also do.

 

[lamplady]

Attractiveness for me is someone who loves God above everything ... ...

I think though I like men who are a bit of challenge - definitely different. I think that might come under the ruff n tuff category. But I don't think any girl finds overly buff men attractive but everyone loves a bit of muscle. I recently discovered that my 'type' may be the girly type of man but we still like muscle lol

And I don't believe every girl is after money Isaiah - personally I hate it BUT I do like AMBITION - there can be a difference ...

 

[jasoncran]

Attractiveness for me is someone who loves God above everything ... ...

I think though I like men who are a bit of challenge - definitely different. I think that might come under the ruff n tuff category. But I don't think any girl finds overly buff men attractive but everyone loves a bit of muscle. I recently discovered that my 'type' may be the girly type of man but we still like muscle lol

And I don't believe every girl is after money Isaiah - personally I hate it BUT I do like AMBITION - there can be a difference ...

define a girly man as to that is a sin(effimacy).

 

[lamplady]

define a girly man as to that is a sin(effimacy).

for a man to like a girl is a sin!!?? :o I never knew that . I just meant not afraid to be soft, kind and gentle as opposed to being rough, hard and macho ...

 

[jasoncran]

for a man to like a girl is a sin!!?? :o I never knew that . I just meant not afraid to be soft, kind and gentle as opposed to being rough, hard and macho ...

to be like a girl, yes, but what you want isnt call a girly man but a tenderhearted man. that is very biblical.keep in mind that the feminist movement has perverted what a man should be and before that we man did that as well. nowhere in the bible are mean like rambo and so forth, jesus wept, david mourned.

 

[lamplady]

to be like a girl, yes, but what you want isnt call a girly man but a tenderhearted man. that is very biblical.keep in mind that the feminist movement has perverted what a man should be and before that we man did that as well. nowhere in the bible are mean like rambo and so forth, jesus wept, david mourned.

so what would you call a girly man then? ...

 

[jasoncran]

so what would you call a girly man then? ...

a man who is too soft, ie cries way to easy when hurt, wont do anything that is too physical. or wont endure harship, wont protect his family etc.

not that women dont but they should have to worry if thier man will do that for them.

 

[Caroline H]

Ok folks, lets try to stay on course here... This topic isn't about feminism, women's rights, or abortion...

 

[TheCollegeLife]

Well, personally, I'm attracted to a guy who's confident but not arrogant, who's not overly aggressive but isn't a pushover, and who also has a good sense of humor. I'm very silly and like to make other people laugh, so I appreciate a guy who can make me laugh too instead of me always telling the jokes. And a guy who's active in the faith instead of just saying "I'm Christian" while there's no evidence of him actively developing his relationship with God.