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What Makes A Good Marriage?

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#1
Young persons today are worried and afraid to get married because they see all the divorce around them and feel their marriage will also not last.

This was not true in the past. Women and men were happier to be married.

Some couples live together to make sure that they're compatible.
It's been found that there is a higher percentage rate of divorce among these couples once they get married.

Why do you believe that is?
Why are couples not getting married as eagerly today?
What makes a good marriage that will last till the end?
 
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#2
What makes a good marriage that will last till the end?
Eph 5:22-28
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. (My underline for emphasis)

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

iakov the fool
 
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#3
The love of God inside each couple.
Giving God everything everyday.
Praying for each other always.
God,God, God,,,.....
If he's not in the middle, the marriage ain't balanced.
 
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#4
Young persons today are worried and afraid to get married because they see all the divorce around them and feel their marriage will also not last.

This was not true in the past. Women and men were happier to be married.

Some couples live together to make sure that they're compatible.
It's been found that there is a higher percentage rate of divorce among these couples once they get married.

Why do you believe that is?
Why are couples not getting married as eagerly today?
What makes a good marriage that will last till the end?
Growing attitude! If a young male can get it before the Commitment Phase, she is a Slut any way. young men are idiots when it comes to living up to unintended consequences and every time that little one, they did not want, cries their pride and all of the real sluts out there that are trying to get one more mark on their Garter Belt or what-ever they wear today are telling him lies and he is stupid enough to believe them.
 

for_his_glory

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#5
Before ever getting married take time to really know each other and establish a friendship that consist of trust and belief in each other. Allow Christ to be the center of your friendship and this will allow you to begin a marriage that is totally Christ centered. Always resolve your problems with the Holy Ghost guidance through the word and you will always have a good marriage. Always be opened and honest with each other for this builds trust in the relationship, but if that trust is broken there is no relationship. Love each other unconditionally as Christ loves us and forgives us our faults. As long as we live in this flesh we will sin at times, but when you acknowledge those sins and ask for forgiveness God will always forgive us. Always be ready to forgive each other seventy times seven, Matthew 22:21,22, and not only forgive, but forget the sin as God remembers our sins no more when we repent of them. The outside appearance will always change and beauty may fade, but it is the heart of the person we are to love and the heart will never change as long as the love of Christ dwells within it.

I wish I knew this before my last two divorces as it would have saved me a lot of grief.
 

ezra

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#7
Young persons today are worried and afraid to get married because they see all the divorce around them and feel their marriage will also not last.

This was not true in the past. Women and men were happier to be married.

Some couples live together to make sure that they're compatible.
It's been found that there is a higher percentage rate of divorce among these couples once they get married.

Why do you believe that is?
Why are couples not getting married as eagerly today?
What makes a good marriage that will last till the end?
i did a wedding for a couple that lived together for years. hand a young en before marriage .less than a year later they was divorcing . marriage is abut commitment and determination
 
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#8
Growing attitude! If a young male can get it before the Commitment Phase, she is a Slut any way. young men are idiots when it comes to living up to unintended consequences and every time that little one, they did not want, cries their pride and all of the real sluts out there that are trying to get one more mark on their Garter Belt or what-ever they wear today are telling him lies and he is stupid enough to believe them.
Bill,
There's no such word as "sluts" anymore.
Women have become equal to men.
They both can "fool around".
Before, During, and After marriage. The rules are the same for both now.
Of course, nature is still the same, and guys are still the same. It's just that the gals are more willing and guys accept it more -- at least consciously. I'll bet sub-consciously it's still the same. Nature doesn't change.

So to you it's commitment?
 
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#10
i did a wedding for a couple that lived together for years. hand a young en before marriage .less than a year later they was divorcing . marriage is abut commitment and determination
This confirms what I said in my O.P.
I know a couple that lived together for years.
No children.
They got married and left each other after only six months.

It seems that "piece of paper" does make a difference.
It makes the relationship "official" and maybe some just can't accept that.
 
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#11
Jim Parker , Allen Wynne and for_his_glory
have stated biblical reasons and that knowing God will keep a marriage in tact.

What if one is a believer and one isn't?
Is there any hope, generally speaking?

My husband is not born again and we've had a very good relationship and have been married many years.

What makes our marriage work is that we each care for the other. We've always taken care of each other, in that sense. Also, we fell in love and got married at a young age so we were able to grow together and share our life. In the fundamentals we're the same. We both believe marriage is a commitment. We tried to make each other happy.

How about marriages where BOTH are not saved and it still works really well?
 
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#12
I tell both my girls.....
Get serious about your commitment to your relation with the Lord......
Then get a relationship with your future spouse.....
And if he cannot do this before the marriage he is a bum and only wants cheap sex, words spoken by one that knows...from experience. This is also true for your young sons. There is an opposite for the Cads in this world, they are called Cougars!
 

for_his_glory

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#13
Jim Parker , Allen Wynne and for_his_glory
have stated biblical reasons and that knowing God will keep a marriage in tact.

What if one is a believer and one isn't?
Is there any hope, generally speaking?

My husband is not born again and we've had a very good relationship and have been married many years.

What makes our marriage work is that we each care for the other. We've always taken care of each other, in that sense. Also, we fell in love and got married at a young age so we were able to grow together and share our life. In the fundamentals we're the same. We both believe marriage is a commitment. We tried to make each other happy.

How about marriages where BOTH are not saved and it still works really well?
For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.
 
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#14
Growing attitude! If a young male can get it before the Commitment Phase, she is a Slut any way. young men are idiots when it comes to living up to unintended consequences and every time that little one, they did not want, cries their pride and all of the real sluts out there that are trying to get one more mark on their Garter Belt or what-ever they wear today are telling him lies and he is stupid enough to believe them.

Why do you feel it is okay to call a woman who sleeps around a slut, but the man is just an idiot? Would he not be a Man Whore? If you are going to speak in so crass a manor, at least it can be equal.

I can guarantee you that there are users on this site who have been in sexual relationships before marriage and your harsh, disdainful attitude does not encourage repentance. This is not marriage advice, this is hurtful words that will more likely keep genuine seekers away from Godly counsel. Please know, that I am not saying my heart does not burn for integrity in marriage, and that these thoughts do not cross my mind, but these are the thoughts Christian used to keep to themselves and repent of.
 
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#15
To the original post, I am in agreement that commitment and forgiveness are the missing ingredients. Anyone who tells you that every day of their married life has been 100% perfect is a liar. The husband will stumble. Contrary to modern sitcoms, the wife will stumble. The bad days are a part of EVERY good relationship. We killed the man who loved us most, so I think I am safe in saying good relationships will have bad days.

However, commitment is a key. When I met my wife, our first day as a couple began with the commitment to only pursue a romantic relationship if marriage was the goal. When we got engaged, we took divorce out of the deck of our lives. Suffering is an option. Hurt is an Option. Anger is an option. Divorce and giving up is not.

Jesus described divorce as being given to us because of the hardness of our hearts. What we say in divorce is that there are some things you and I cannot forgive or look beyond, even though I promised you when I married you that I would. Grace and compassion are needed in a marriage, but those only come after forgiveness.
 
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#16
Young persons today are worried and afraid to get married because they see all the divorce around them and feel their marriage will also not last.

This was not true in the past. Women and men were happier to be married.

Some couples live together to make sure that they're compatible.
It's been found that there is a higher percentage rate of divorce among these couples once they get married.

Why do you believe that is?
Why are couples not getting married as eagerly today?
What makes a good marriage that will last till the end?
-
The answers are easy, but the doing is difficult.
Obviously, for a marriage to be truly successful, you need 2 who are successful regarding their Christianity.
And this way, you have a "Christ centered" marriage, and when that is in place, then let the gates of hell roar.
But how many actually do this?
Its about the same number as the number of Christians who actually have Christ centered lives.
Answer: some.
See, this is easy to understand, but its not easy to do > Consistently.
And the key to any type of success is consistency in the right measures.
Some people, for example, are consistent at living like the devil, and they are very accomplished.
So, if you want a happy marriage, then you need one that offers a few things, once you get the relationship grounded in Jesus.
You need for example to understand the 1st and most profound rule regarding what makes any relationship you have, in life, with another person, successful.
This rule applies, especially of course, to the wedding relationship.
This rule is.....1.) Find out what the other person loves, and do that......while you also find out what they can't stand and don't do that".
The idea is, to make each other happy,... this is the goal, and to not make each other unhappy is the goal.
Both.
See, born again people can live happily in poverty or riches as long as they have one person in their life who they enjoy, and who they love to be with, who understands how to satisfy them.,... as not being satisfied in life is the issue that plagues most people.
This grinds you down.

Then there is the fact that, when you are talking about "young love" and young people getting married..
Well, most young people, including most young people who go to church, are having sex.
And the issue with this, is that when you are young, sex is a very powerful consumption, and because wisdom and youth are not a good match, a young person will confuse sex with love.
They confuse sex...with love, and that is always going to lead to a bad marriage, as so many young get married because they have confused sex with love, and then.... once they are married and the sex becomes "marriage sex" and "common", they will wake up one day, no longer owned and blinded by the power of the physical interplay and think to themselves.."who is this that i married, .. i dont know them".. "im sleeping with a stranger who has my wedding ring".
Then, the real problems start that typically lead to a bad ending.

Also, there is the issue of managing money.
Oh what a difficult thing to have to learn how to do when you are a newly wed and are not yet 22 yrs old.
"Money issues" are the #1 issue in most marriages, along with communication issues.

And finally, if you are a young reader who is reading this thread and are wondering about how to find the best mate, or you think you have found them, and are wondering about that next step...
I've advice for you...
Determine accurately if you enjoy the conversation that your "Love" is giving you when you are together a lot.
Do you enjoy listening to them talk?
Is this pleasant? Do you look forward to hearing them talk? Do find them always to be interesting and engaging?
This is very important, as if you dont...if you find their conversation to be dumb, grinding, boring, and worse, then consider how you will be feeling the next 30 yrs you are married to them, if you already hate their conversation?
"wisdom"...
"key".





<K><
 
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#17
For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.
Hi FHG

A couple of comments...

A couple might be married and then one of them becomes born again.
This is what happened to me. However, my husband is a very good person and a very loving person so things worked out. I still pray he would be saved, but I'm beginning to give up on that.

As to 1 Corinthians, I believe that as long as the unbelieving partner is alive, we are still bound to that person. We are bound to each other until death.

Why? Because marriage is a covenant between the couple and God. Each person of the couple being married has made a covenant vow with God. Jesus said divorce certificates were given in the Old Covenant because of the hardness of man's heart, but Jesus came to set things straight.

Genesis says that husband and wife will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

It says that a man will leave his mother and father -- the two most important persons in his life besides his wife, so the wife takes precedence. He is to cleave to his wife. This is how important marriage is.

Even after the fall, they still lived life together as a couple.
Why? Because of the same reason a couple should strive to stay together today...
So we could be helpmates, so we could support each other, so we could face life together and face old-age together --- should we be so lucky. Helpmate is such a great word.

It's good that marriage be forever. It gives peace to the couple. It assures them that they have a real partner and not just a temporary one, as is common today.
 

LovethroughDove

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#18
Some couples live together to make sure that they're compatible.
It's been found that there is a higher percentage rate of divorce among these couples once they get married.
I don't believe this. All my friends, and my husband and I lived together before marriage and we are all still together. Some of us met our husbands in our teens.
 
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#20
What if one is a believer and one isn't?
Is there any hope, generally speaking?
Of course there is hope:

And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 1 Corinthians 6:13 NIV

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 1 Corinthians 6:16 NIV

Many unbelieving spouses have come to the Lord after observing the love that their saved spouses have.
 
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